WiredTiredUnhired

What If I Just Can't?

3 posts in this topic

Greetings,

I am so, so, so conflicted! On one hand, I wouldn't be here if a piece of me wasn't at least somewhat interested in kicking Adderall. Since I opened this account a few days ago, I visit these forums several times a day. I posted an abridged version my story. I know this is unsustainable and will just get worse if I continue. On the other hand, however, I still crave my confidence candy. In a couple days, the effects will wear off and I'll revert to a comatose state. I'll lose that immediate kick of courage and enthusiasm it gives me. My confidence will be totally deflated.  I've read a lot of posts here saying time will heal these deficiencies. But in my experience, it never does. The motivation Adderall gives me may be artificially induced but it's better than nothing. I know this may seem childish, but when I have a fresh prescription at my disposal, I'd rather resort to the fake boost than take my chances with real apathy. Why is it so daunting to give life a drug-free chance? How does one learn how to handle hardship and boredom and responsibility like an adult? How does one develop passions the natural way? Do I even have the capacity to lead a healthy existence anymore, to set goals and take the steps to achieve them without a stimulant to get me over the hump? What do people do to make the adjustment more seamless? Please, folks. It hasn't even been 24 hours since I was last able to bring myself to abstain, and I can already start to feel hopeless and lethargic. "Make recovery your full-time job," they say. But what if the inspiration is gone for good? Then what?

WiredTiredUnhired

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You have a very good perspective on things here. Life's not always easy a lot of times it's a bitch. The challenge will always be daunting at first but once you start and once you begin things getter significantly better with time. You learn it's okay to be unmotivated sometimes, it's okay to be bored sometimes, and that they're just lows that you ride out. Just know they'll be highs to ride out too where your motivated and happy. You can say inspiration is gone for good and give up recovery but I guarantee you this once you start down that path a day will come where you'll be so god damn miserable and everything has fallen apart and you've lost yourself and everything you were to the drug you'll no choice but to die or quit. At this point you'll realize you want to live and that it's not worth dying over. The sooner the better.

I wish you the best 

Cameron

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19 hours ago, SeanW said:

You learn it's okay to be unmotivated sometimes, it's okay to be bored sometimes, and that they're just lows that you ride out. Just know they'll be highs to ride out too where your motivated and happy.

this this this!!

life can't be all ups. you asked how one can learn to overcome hardship and find passion in life? it happens naturally when you're forced work through something you don't want to do. it happens when you're sitting around bored as hell and decide to try something new.

stimulants mask all these challenges, cause you're never unmotivated and bored. 

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