Ame

Help

9 posts in this topic

I’m new to this site so please bare with me 

I have been married 4yrs to a man who is a recovering alcoholic and last April his doctor put him on Adderall. His whole personality has changed, he told me he doesn’t love me the way he should and doesn’t want to be married to me anymore. We have known each other since we were kids and when we finally got together after 35 years apart it was like a miracle had happened. We were very close and we loved each other so much, everyone around us could feel the love and respect we had for each other. Then in November he told me he was done and didn’t want to be married to me, it was a shock!! I felt like I was hit by a train!! I knew he was distant and even told him back May that I thought the Adderall was affecting him and we weren’t as close. He was starting a new job so he didn’t want to give it up. Now we live in 2 different states & all I want is for my Loving kind husband to come back. I pray he gets off the Adderall and realizes the mistakes he has made. Has this happened to anyone else? Is there hope?

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Adderall is a terrible thing to mix with an addictive personality/alcoholism... sorry to hear this.. I fear the worst but you never know. A miracle could happen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you Sean

Im pretty much on my knees constantly praying for a Miracle. He said his doctor was slowly taking him off the Adderall at the beginning of January & it’s just been the last few days he seems to act like himself again, he has even questioned the decisions he has made. But then he turns around and acts like Adderall Jerk again. Do you know if that is normal behavior when getting off this stuff?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Possibly. If I had to guess he’s probably struggling to stop and goes days with out taking it and that’s when he seems like his old self but then faulters and takes some again and goes right back to the adderall jerk. I did the same thing a lot when trying to quit. I ended up losing my gf of 5 years over this stuff because of the person it made me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not sure if this helps at all, but Adderall can definitely change one’s entire personality. I know it happened to me. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you it helps. I just he would see it. How long did it take you until you were back to your normal self? I see glimpses of the man I married and he still calls to tell me he’s thinking about me and he’s confused & doesn’t know what he’s doing. Is that normal when coming off Adderall?

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi @Ame,

you're not alone - there are many forum members here that are going through the exact same thing. his behavior is almost text book based on the stories shared here, though it seems that he's not too far gone for you to save your marriage! Adderall can definitely morph your personality. depending on what's going on in a person's life at that point, it can feel like the miracle they have waited for all their life, to open doors to success, confidence, happiness, etc.

some of the things Adderall does that could explain your husband's behavior:

- it chemically fulfills the emotional needs and validation you would generally get from a partner or spouse (i.e, the user feels validated, secure, confident, etc. without the need for interaction)

- it lowers the threshold for decision making - decisions are made impulsively, and because of the point above, every decision made feels right (no matter the consequences)

- it can certainly improve your performance at work (at least for a time), which can lead to dependency (i.e, i'll lose my career if i stop)

 

i'm glad to hear that he's weaning off! the wavering and confusion you're seeing now is a good sign. when you come off Adderall, there is certainly a period of depression and confusion as you start questioning your past behavior on it. i would encourage him to visit the forum here and read some of these stories!

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He has been on Adderall since last May. How long does he have to be on it before it starts to lose its affect & you want to up your dose?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It varies, usually the first year things are at a pretty steady dose because it’s the fairy tale stage, everything feels great. It can last up to two years then things usually get escalated pretty quickly and spiral out of control and can last from one or two more years on up to five to ten. Just depends on the person and circumstances.. he’s most likely not going to open to quitting any time soon but you can at least try and show him this site and beg him to save himself years of pain and suffering but he’s not going to want to hear it and probably get angry and because he’s in love with the drug and you trying to take that from him.. anyways, I wish you the best.. sorry to hear this 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now