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I don't even know how I came across this site in the first place? or if any real human being will lay eyes on it..but for some reason unknown I feel the need to share my experience with the 'limitless drug' as I'd refer to it. I was actually on it earlier, and since then I've downed a bowl as of cereal 5 minutes ago, that's right! I'm coming down :) <-- (sarcastic smiley) guess I'll start now.

I've been addicted since day 1 of trying the drug for starters, and have been taking it for almost a year now. way before trying it I was against any pills and had my innocent morals still in tact. probably one of my most regretted decisions in life was letting a friend coerce me into taking it.(shitty friend, right?) I am no where near as much a fiend as I was from the get-go. I would spaz trying to find my happy pill, and go to extreme lengths to get it. now I am prescribed and not a huge concern for me until I'm almost out.

In the beginning I never thought it was a huge deal taking it because it actually made me outgoing and love stuff I normally despised, I saw the better side of EVERYTHING on it. but after months and months of taking it I reaped more and more side effects that sucked beyond belief. dry mouth and insomnia were normal already. I began getting stress headaches from the hyper focus aspect, tooth sensitivity, swimmers ear, massive confusion, and memory problems, serious anxiety/agitation. when I was on it though. (plus I began feeling like a weirdo bringing a drink with me everywhereeeee).

It's sad because I honestly don't remember what it's like not using it at all. I crave to know what it's like being happy because I'm just naturally happy. I see all these other people sober and happy but it seems unrealistic since I've known what happiness feels like on the drug and it is amazing a lot of times. music sounds better, going out of my way to be social with friends is something I love doing, and being generally content. but it's all really just a co-dependence. every reason I tell myself to take it is the addiction to it talking. It's like I'm possessed at times and right now I AM writing.

one day hopefully I will find that, because there is truth to the saying nothing worth having, comes easy.

-addict

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Hey Brandoyoo, how are you doing? Are you still on this board at all?

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<3 <3  Recovery may seem hard , but a life of cold hands, grinding teeth, dehydration and confusion is harder.   Start planning a quit. You will need cushions for the crash. There are lots of great articles describing what to expect. We are here.  

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Yep, actual humans are reading your post, and know exactly what you mean. That euphoria becomes the 'new normal,' and it is hard to get back to feeling enthusiastic about anything without the drug. BUT IT WILL HAPPEN if you stick it out.

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