Danquit

Members
  • Content count

    119
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

283 Excellent

1 Follower

About Danquit

  • Rank
    Member

Recent Profile Visitors

1,175 profile views
  1. Long timer checking in.

    I’m not even sure how long I’ve been off because it’s been almost 3 years now. This is a clear sign that recovery is possible and I just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I’m doing fine. Life is all mine now, it’s not perfect but I can honestly say that Adderall is a distant memory for me. Tonight is the first time it popped in my head in weeks and mainly because I was thinking how good I feel. The crazy thing is I can’t remember how I felt in early recovery anymore. I remember that it was horrible and the worst thing ever but I dint remember exactly how. It’s hard to explain. Lately I’ve just been having these thoughts like “I’m back!” I actually got into my work today while writing a document and I was so focused and started researching stuff and really enjoying it, it was strange because it felt like I was on Adderall, minus the jitters and teeth-grinding. I came across a similar document that I wrote when I was on Adderall and OMG, it was fascinating and scary to look at my work from those days. Knowing what I know now, it’s no surprise I got fired for turning in that work. Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well and loving your Adderall free lives!
  2. Congratulations! One year is huuuuge and it only gets better from here. At one year I was still struggling but I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Year two will be easier but still pretty rough in terms of motivation and some depression. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and getting more days under your belt. Try to enjoy the good days because they will start to be sprinkled in there. The trick is to recognize when you’re having a good day and remember that feeling for when the bad days come. You don’t need Adderall to have a good life, you know that now. Congrats again on a major milestone.
  3. Sure is quiet these days.

    I noticed this too. I’m still in here lurking quite a bit too but I can’t complain too much as I am at 27 months so just looking to help others. I can say I feel quite good about my recovery but now I’m just facing regular life challenges and I can’t relate it to recovery anymore. Thank god I made it through the first two years and it was hugely because of this site. I suspect more people will join as time goes by because I don’t think they stopped prescribing Adderall recently. Anyway, glad to see you and others are still on here.
  4. TWO YEARS :)

    Well done Nicole! I am a few months ahead of you and I feel the same about year one and two. Year three is going well so far but I am still on here quite a bit, I think it may just be habit and to remind myself of how shitty recovery was so I can enjoy being off Adderall even more. I also like to help others that are just starting out. Anyway, keep checking in and enjoy life!
  5. Congrats to 4 months! It’s a milestone but still very early for recovery. You are on your way to a better life without Adderall. Months 5-9 will still be tough with mental fog and anxiety. It wasn’t until we’ll into year two when I felt like my old self again. I am now in year three and I find it hard to remember what those early months were like, but I know they were hell for me. Hang in there and try to enjoy the little things because one day you’ll look back and realize as shitty as this time is, you were still living your life.
  6. Relapse Damage

    Once you are addicted and you try to quit, there is no such thing as taking only your prescribed dose. That is complete bullshit and I firmly believe that people do not need this drug in heir lives. I also believe that adhd was made up by the industry to push this particular drug because of the money it generates for psychiatrists and shire pharmaceutical. Now that you went through your relapse, it’s time to get off again and stay off. I relapsed the first time I tried to quit and did exactly what you did, I binged a 30 day supply in a couple weeks and had psychosis which is what it finally took to get me to realize it was gonna kill me.
  7. Found an old pill and flushed it

    I used to keep loose pills in my little hidden zipper pocket of my backpack and after more than two years off every once in a while when I reach in that pocket I still have the thought of “what if there’s an addy in here?” then I root around in there until I come to my senses and realize how strong those little fuckers are. I’m glad you flushed it, but to be complete honest, I think I may have said fuck it and taken it. They don’t scare me anymore which is the really scary part. It’s like I’ve forgotten how awful recovery was and I’m back to being carefree about them. That’s why I need to keep coming here so I can remind myself of the hellish nightmare that is Adderall addiction and recovery.
  8. What do you think?

    I’d say there is a small percentage of people who have never abused it. This is based on my personal experience and talking with people who are prescribed Adderall, most of them have abused it at one time or another. It’s the nature of the drug, you can’t help but want to take more and more.
  9. Feeling good and very lucky.

    Yeah Frank, I’ve been a lazy ass for two years and only recently started to feel some natural ambition coming back. I don’t know if I feel like I’m on it but I do feel I’m back to before Adderall days. I still have to self motivate but it’s getting easier. I am naturally kinda lazy if I’m not doing something I love to do. Unfortunately, I have to rediscover what I love because Adderall skewed my passions for years.
  10. Day 6

    Your old posts were such a huge inspiration for me in my early days of recovery, I am very happy to see you back here and doing well. I use your story to remind me that this is a lifelong journey and I have to stay vigilant now that I’m at 26 months I am starting to feel complacent about this recovery as if I’ve got it beat but I know how easy it is to slip. Anyway, glad you’re back and doing well!
  11. I have a suspicion that Bourdain was on Adderall because recently he was getting super thin and I remember thinking he has to be on Adderall when I saw him on tv. Anyway, I was a huge fan of his and I am in shock today as I mourn his loss. I remember the initial months of recovery and how I felt like wanting to die, it was awful and I am very thankful I made it through those dark times. If any of you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately, it can be treated and things will get better. Even sharing here can help, we will support you.
  12. 90 Day Update: Extreme Brain Fog

    Brain fog was terrible in the first 7-8 months for me. I felt so dumb and useless. It’s just part of the recovery. It got better for me at 9 months and beyond. I think it was completely lifted about half way through the second year but I took a lot more than you for 5 years. Hang in there, it will get better as long as you don’t get back on it.
  13. Dreams are making recovery difficult today

    Oh man my dreams were extremely vivid and realistic the first year of if Adderall. I only had one or two where there was Adderall involved. I remember one dream where I found a half of an orange pill in my jacket and I took it in my dream and I remember being high just like in real life. When I woke up I had a huge sense of relief because it was only a dream. You’ll have some crazy dreams as your brain readjusts to life off of stimulants. This is normal, try to enjoy the good dreams.
  14. Confession: still dating girl on Adderall

    Some very good points, yes, I always think that everything she does is Adderall affected. How she shops online and organizes her closet. How she has a million printouts with charts and spreadsheets for her “work”, how she is never hungry, how she is always focused on her stuff and never asking about what I’ve been up to. She is a slave to Adderall. I also had the thoughts of grabbing one of her addys but it was a fleeting and horrific thought as I could see her pull bottles placed all over her room. There was a drawer in her bathroom filled with all kinds of bottles, Adderall, vyvanse, benzos, pain pills for sleep. It is the saddest thing but she is basically a functioning druggy. I just need to work up the energy and strength to end it.