Danquit

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About Danquit

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  1. Weight loss/Fitness Accountability

    I'm going for a run in the park at least 3 times this week. I made it on Monday, and today I am already making excuses so glad I saw your post. I'm gonna go run dammit!
  2. So Annoyed

    At this point, I trust the people on this forum more than any prescribing "professional" out there. I would do like Frank says and find a doctor that will prescribe what you want after doing your own research. They don't care about anything except making money. It's just the way the entire system is set up. That's how I got my Adderall when I was hooked, I just went to the psychiatrist that would give me whatever I wanted.
  3. One year down!

    So I have been officially off Adderall for one year and I thought I'd update you all. Looking back on the past 12 months, I am amazed that I made it to this huge milestone. It has been the most painful year of my life but I am still alive and I am definitely doing better. I was on Adderall for about 5 years so one year isn't that much but I am hanging in there. The depression and anxiety have gotten better but I am still not motivated and I lay around a lot. I am seriously considering Wellbutrin or other antidepressant but I am deathly afraid of getting hooked on another drug. My focus these days is to get outside and exercise because I put on so much weight in the past year. I am starting to think about the future and what I want to do with my life which is good because I'm not thinking about death all the time. I survived by taking it one day at a time and reminding myself that I was withdrawing from one of the most powerful drugs ever. Thank you all for the support through your responses and posts, I couldn't have made it without this forum!
  4. Depression sets back in

    I went through the same thing at 9 months. It does get better, I am coming up on my 12 month anniversary and I honestly feel pretty good. I am still extremely lazy and unmotivated, but I have hope now. The depression just kinda lifted one day and I think it just happens naturally. There are still some depressing days but more like how a normal person goes through life. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time and remind yourself to live in the present. There is nothing more than this exact moment in time. You will get better.
  5. Adderall and Alcohol

    I didn't drink at home but I would go to my local bar in NYC and sit at my regular spot all night till they closed at 4am. The bartenders all knew me and were amazed at how much I could drink and still function. Adderall let me drink so much more than I could handle. I remember walking back to my apartment one night and I fell right in the street and got up stumbled away thinking holy shit I'm drunk! It was like I could experience being really wasted but not passing out. I don't know how I didn't end up in the hospital or worse. So yeah, I definitely drank more when I was on Adderall, if I drank that much now, I would probably die of alcohol poisoning.
  6. Quitting again after a setback

    Stay strong Rachel. We all make mistakes when trying to quit and it's because this drug is extremely powerful. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time. It will get better, I promise, but you have to go through some very painful days, weeks, months. I wanted to die so bad early on, but now, one year later, I am doing so much better and I know you will too. Recovery is not linear so you will have good days early on as well. Just hang in there until you have those good days.
  7. Suppressed addicted nation

    Preach it brother! Big pharma doesn't care about anything other than huge profits. Unfortunately, we fell into the trap and are now dealing with the repercussions but at least we're alive.
  8. No im not taking it easy thank you.

    Great post Frank, I agree with the supplements statement, I took all kinds of stuff too in the past year and they didn't do jack except maybe placebo effect. Now that I'm coming up on one year I am thinking of trying Wellbutrin too. I am scared because I don't want to get addicted to something else. Is it anything like Adderall in terms of addiction risk?
  9. S*?# hitting Fan at work

    What I noticed when I was working after quitting is that I thought I was doing much worse then I actually was. In my mind, I thought I was not doing enough because I didn't talk in meetings as much as when on Adderall and I didn't volunteer to take on projects etc. In reality, no one noticed anything. I just became like a normal person. I actually think I may have done better because I spoke less and listened more. I think when we may think we're doing much worse than we actually are. I got through this by just showing up and sitting there. Sometimes you just need to show up and do exactly what needs to be done and nothing more.
  10. Frustrated at lack of productivity

    Wow, congrats on one year off this horrible drug! I am at 9 months and I'm hoping for some natural motivation as well. What I've learned is that this is completely normal for people coming off Adderall. I find that motivation follows action. This sucks because when I was using, I would pop a 20mg pinky and just wait 20 minutes until it kicked in and then I'd find myself doing all kinds of "productive" shit. This is not normal. Normal people don't get super excited about cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry. They just do it because they have to. That's how I operate these days. I basically don't do anything until I absolutely have to. Haven't showered in 2 days, take a shower. Have no more clean clothes, do laundry. Have no food and am starving, go to grocery store. Have an 8:30 work meeting, wake up at 8:15. I'm just layin' the cut. Doing exactly what I have to do to survive. Nothing more. Lately I've been wanting to do more though. I want to have a social life again and have a little fun but I don't think the motivation has caught up to the desire yet. I feel like any day now something will kick into gear. My only advice is to force yourself to just do it. Whatever you need to do, just start doing it. Once you are doing it, it's not that bad. This applies to everything. Don't procrastinate. No matter how small the task, just do it.
  11. Holy Shit! 9 Months!

    I've officially been off of Adderall for 9 months! It has been the most miserable 9 months of my life but I am alive and doing OK. So the first 1-3 months were brutal because of depression, anxiety, and lack of motivation. I struggled daily to just get out of bed and do anything. I survived by writing in my journal and going to the park to walk around, and I checked this forum daily. Months 4-6 were a little better but it definitely was not a linear process. I noticed that maybe I started having 2-3 good days a week where I did not want to die and I actually had some hope for the future. I hung in there and kept telling myself "one day at a time". Months 7-9 showed significant improvement in my overall mood and the anxiety level definitely went down. I didn't do anything different, I think something in my brain just changed in month 9. It's just like everyone said on here, only time can heal your brain. I am currently still very unmotivated to do anything but I am still so much better because I am not suffering from massive anxiety just sitting around the house. That was the worst part of the last 9 months. The negative thoughts and the constant worrying about the future and excessively worrying about things that I could not control was brutal. I would just have a thought like "what if I lose my job?" and then the negative thoughts would just spiral out of control. I mean before Adderall, the chances of me losing my job were the same as now, but I simply didn't care or didn't think about it. I just went about my business. One thing that helped when I had these thoughts was I would employ the "fuck it" attitude. Thanks Frank! One of your posts helped me tremendously. You basically said, what difference will all this make 100 years from now? It really doesn't matter. Once I adopted this thought process, things didn't seem so daunting. So the key takeaway is that I am doing better. I still read this forum daily but I don't always respond. Honestly, I am hoping that the less I think about this shit, the better. But I love that we have this forum to come to and just read when we are feeling down. It is a tremendous recovery tool. On to the 1 year mark. I am optimistic about the next 3 months and I can't wait to get the first year under my belt. Remember, this is the hardest thing that you will ever go through and when you make it through to the other side, you will be so much better for it. Stay strong and don't give in to those temptations. You can't take just one to get you through whatever. You cannot get back on it and just take the prescribed dose. That is what Adderall wants you to think, but it is lying to you. Enjoy that healthy weight you've put on and just say fuck Adderall!
  12. Visual illustration of quitting adderall

    Awesome Frank! It gives me hope to see you slowly getting better. Stay strong and 2017 is gonna be amazing! You made it through the hardest year of your life and I congratulate you. I'm following your lead so don't stop.
  13. Visual illustration of quitting adderall

    I'm in the middle of that lake right now. Just at the edge where I can start climbing out.
  14. Today was a good day

    You are a huge inspiration Frank. I am now hopeful for my recovery and I owe it all to people like you who are leading the way. Fuck Adderall! I am looking forward to my 9 month and then my 1 year anniversary off of this god awful drug. To 2017!!!
  15. It took not one, but two hospital stays for amphetamine induced psychosis for me to realize that I had a problem with Adderall. I could have died on both occasions because I was behaving so insanely. I took this addiction all the way to losing my sense of reality and almost dying. Fuck Adderall. There is no way in hell that this drug is good for anyone. I don't care what they think they are getting in terms of 'benefits.' This drug is just another way for the drug companies to make money off of people.