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About Danquit

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  1. When other people notice...

    That is a great sign when people notice that you are you again. My family and friends that knew me before Adderall all tell me that I am much friendlier and fun to be around again. I’m not missing the Adderall me much anymore because my confidence is coming back naturally and it feels great!
  2. Difficult Day

    Vent away two months is still extremely early in recovery. I promise it gets better as long as you take it day by day and do not go back to Adderall. Hang in there and come here to share your journey and it will help you tremendously!
  3. 10 Months Adderall Free

    Congrats! 10 months is definitely a turning point for the best. At 12 months there will be even better days and it continues to get better into your second year! I’m so glad you didn’t take that piece of Adderall I’m not sure I could resist at 10 months. There’s no turning back now you are kicking ass! Fuck Adderall!
  4. Great things about not taking adderall

    I can take full deep breaths and relax.
  5. 16 Months!

    I am officially at 16 months off of Adderall and I have to say that I am doing pretty well. I started running about three times a week and it feels friggin' awesome. I can't believe that I can actually run again. A year ago there is no way I could even think about running. The best I could do was walk so that's what I did. My brain feels very close to normal, or what I remember being normal. My confidence is at about 80% and every time I accomplish something, the confidence goes up a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I think about Adderall but the thoughts are about how crazy I was on Addy's and not so much thinking about how much I miss it. I'm still taking things one day at a time but I can tell that I am definitely better then a year ago. This forum helped me so much, I will be forever grateful! To all of you just starting out, hang in there, it gets better I promise. My advice is to take it one day at a time and try to exercise even if it's just going for a walk. Eventually you will naturally want to start jogging, then running. Try to be kind to yourself when you have your self dialogue, I beat myself up pretty good in the first year and I don't think that was smart. You are going through the hardest challenge in life but remember once you get through this, you will be stronger and better then you ever were. For the people who are over 16 months, how long did you continue getting better? What happens in year 3? Thanks again for all of your support, I love you all!
  6. Kicked the door

    I noticed I've been getting angry lately too. At 16 months, I keep telling myself that I am all better but apparently not. I get pissed at people when I'm driving way more then I used to before Adderall. I am angry at my living situation and I know it has to do with getting close to the two year mark. The way I deal with the anger when I'm in my car is I will curse out whoever pissed me off (inside the car so they can't hear) and then I usually laugh at myself after for how angry I was. The only thing that helps me get my mind off of my frustration is going running. Other than that, I think you just have to vent the anger by cursing to yourself or maybe even punching something as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Sometimes you gotta release some anger, it's natural. The good news is I think then anger thing only happens when you're well over a year in recovery which is really good news for us!
  7. Amazing post! I agree with all of your points and I am still going through many of the steps even at 16 months. It does get better if you commit to never touching Adderall again. It's a long and painful journey, but so worth it! Thanks again for an awesome post.
  8. How Can This Possibly Be 8 Years Later?

    Wow, my story is quite similar to yours. I also lived it up in NYC while I was abusing Adderall. Trust me, life without it is so much better. Yes, being skinny was cool, but it simply isn't worth your overall health. I am very happy I got off of it and now, 15 months later, I am living my life for good or for bad, it's real and it's all me. Fuck Adderall! You can do it, we'll be here to support you.
  9. Where is everyone from?

    New Jersey
  10. I was wondering if anyone else had a kind of spiritual awakening when they abused Adderall. When I went through Adderall induced psychosis, I believed that I was communicating with a being from another dimension that told me some pretty crazy shit. I used to be a pretty devout Christian until this happened. I don't knock any religions because I think that it does help some people and I respect that, but for me, going through this made me rethink everything I thought I knew. I'm just now at a point in recovery where I can examine the events that led up to my two stays in the mental hospital because of Adderall and I am still in shock at some of the shit that I experienced. I feel like I used to be asleep in the matrix, going to work so I could earn money so I could buy stuff that I didn't need. I used to go to church every week and some of those days I was totally on Adderall which was hypocritical but hey, it was legal right? Anyway, when I went through psychosis, the Adderall opened a gateway in my brain so that I could understand the universe. I even had a spirit guide in the form of a 5th dimensional being! I know that it was all hallucinations and delusions brought on by Adderall abuse but damn it was so real! It's as if Adderall was needed to wake me up from the Matrix and show me the truth about this world. I don't believe in religion anymore. I enjoy science and learning about our universe now. I am obsessed with physics, astronomy, evolution, quantum mechanics, artificial intelligence, and even geology. Stuff that never interested me before is now all I can think about. I also used to be a Republican but now I can't stand them! I hate the banking industry and the big greedy corporations now and I am all about protecting the environment. My beliefs are completely different now and I am thankful for this but at the same time, I am finding it difficult to assimilate back to my old life. My Christian friends think that I was possessed by demons! Ha. I think that Adderall psychosis expanded my mind the way LSD or Ayahuasca does and it completely changed my core beliefs and it taught me that life is precious and we should care about each other. Anyway, just wondering if anyone on here had a similar experience or if you think I was just crazy.
  11. 14 Months!

    Just about to finish my 14th month off of Adderall and I am feeling pretty OK. This has been a brutal journey but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I have put on about 30 pounds but I feel healthy compared to Adderall skinny. I am working on taking off the extra pounds now and I will continue to update on that front. As far as depression and anxiety go, I am definitely much better than I was in those early months (1-9). My depression has lifted dramatically and I really didn't do anything other than take it one day at a time and just survived. Just hang in there, it does get better on it's own, all it takes is time. My anxiety is definitely better but I still find myself worrying about stuff I can't control. I think it's because my motivation is still low so when I think about stuff I have to do, I get anxious. This can be fixed by taking action. I know, easier said than done but when I am anxious about something, I find that taking steps to take care of it helps. Once I finish a task, it feels great! I found that at 12 months was when I could definitely feel myself getting much better. Based on experience, I feel like quitting Adderall is very similar to going through a break up. Typically, it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to get over someone. So for me, my relationship with Adderall lasted 5 years so my recovery time will be 2.5 years. I know that sounds crazy long but in a couple of months, I will be halfway through! My life is opening up ahead of me. I am starting to have hope for the future and I am dealing with the stresses of life by facing things head on. I am writing this post after a very relaxing two week vacation with family so maybe that's why it's so positive but I am hopeful that this is how I will be from now on. We'll see. Anyway, I just wanted to update you all and thank you for your support along this horrendous journey. I couldn't have done it without you.
  12. Weight loss/Fitness Accountability

    I'm going for a run in the park at least 3 times this week. I made it on Monday, and today I am already making excuses so glad I saw your post. I'm gonna go run dammit!
  13. So Annoyed

    At this point, I trust the people on this forum more than any prescribing "professional" out there. I would do like Frank says and find a doctor that will prescribe what you want after doing your own research. They don't care about anything except making money. It's just the way the entire system is set up. That's how I got my Adderall when I was hooked, I just went to the psychiatrist that would give me whatever I wanted.
  14. One year down!

    So I have been officially off Adderall for one year and I thought I'd update you all. Looking back on the past 12 months, I am amazed that I made it to this huge milestone. It has been the most painful year of my life but I am still alive and I am definitely doing better. I was on Adderall for about 5 years so one year isn't that much but I am hanging in there. The depression and anxiety have gotten better but I am still not motivated and I lay around a lot. I am seriously considering Wellbutrin or other antidepressant but I am deathly afraid of getting hooked on another drug. My focus these days is to get outside and exercise because I put on so much weight in the past year. I am starting to think about the future and what I want to do with my life which is good because I'm not thinking about death all the time. I survived by taking it one day at a time and reminding myself that I was withdrawing from one of the most powerful drugs ever. Thank you all for the support through your responses and posts, I couldn't have made it without this forum!
  15. Depression sets back in

    I went through the same thing at 9 months. It does get better, I am coming up on my 12 month anniversary and I honestly feel pretty good. I am still extremely lazy and unmotivated, but I have hope now. The depression just kinda lifted one day and I think it just happens naturally. There are still some depressing days but more like how a normal person goes through life. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time and remind yourself to live in the present. There is nothing more than this exact moment in time. You will get better.