House

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  1. Hello

    @frank lol yea our POS ford's will be rolling out on X. Literally lmao. I tried MDMA/molly/ecstasy once for about a week lol. Felt like complete $h1T for the next couple days. Yes its very similar. MDMA, the psychoactive ingredient in molly and ecstasy, basically releases ALL the serotonin in your brain as well as some dopamine and oxytocin (neurotransmitter released by affectionate actions). It can take days weeks even for proper levels of serotonin to be fully replenished again. I knew people that would work on molly, taking it 5 days in a row. How they were able to function is beyond me.
  2. Hey Sean welcome to the forums I'm new here too. Just a few key things I'd like to point out to you here... 1. You've only been on adderall for a year. 2. You only have a year of school left. 3. You've earned more college credits without adderall than you have with adderall. It seems to me you have 3 options 1. Do exactly what LILTEX said...couldn't have said it better myself. 2. Take a semester off. It'll give you time for your brain chemistry and body to reach homeostasis. 3. Continue taking adderall until you graduate. Then focus on getting yourself cleaned up and when you're ready, go ahead and find yourself a big boy job. Each option has their own inherent risks with the 3rd posing the greastest detriment to your health. Keep in mind that you've only been on adderall for year. So going another year means that it will be twice as hard for you to quit and you'll probably feel twice as bad as you do now. Do you plan on getting your masters or doctorate? If you're just looking to earn your degree, then move on to a career then it seems to me that your GPA is irrelevant. You can pass with C's and D's. So with that being said the 1st or 2nd option has your best interests in mind.
  3. Hello

    @liltex -In my first year post adderall I experienced anhedonia. I just felt like I was going through the motions. Most addicts/alcoholics self medicate to correct some sort of underlying illness and I was no exception. I began treatment for major depressive disorder and it helped tremendously. @ frank -lol some days I'm in a mustang, other days, like today, I'm back in my focus 😂 -Hypnosis is in some what of grey area and most Psychologists use it for either behavior modification (smoking cessation) or to retrieve traumatic experiences/memories from the depths of the subconsious mind to the surface of the conscious. Also, you have to be a fairly open minded person and susceptible to suggestion for it to be effective. Make sure you find a licensed psychologist, not a psychiatrist or hypnotherapist. Let us know if you decide to go down that path; hynpnosis is very interesting and very cool. @bluemoon -Thank you for the welcome! I'm not going sit here and promise you that your future holds sunshine and unicorns. I can only tell you what worked for me. After a year of feeling numb, lethargic, and anti-social, I decided it was time to intervene. The post acute withdrawl symptoms should have dissipated by that point which meant to me that there was some sort of underlying untreated issue here. So I found a psychiatrist that specialized in substance abuse, was honest with him and I began taking anti-depressants. It wasn't a miracle fix by any means and it didn't happen over night. One day, a few months down the road I just remember feeling like a "normal" happy functioning person. Btw, I don't know why I keep putting off my story lol. It is quite lengthy, and tbh some of its really bat-shit crazy. I'll get around to it... I'm a procrastinator...I'll tell you about it sometime 😂
  4. Hello

    For me the most frustrating aspect of sobriety is coming to terms with the fact that I am not able to perform and function at the super human level that I had grown accustomed to while taking adderall. I'll still accomplish what needs to be done, but it doesn't come as effortlessly and easily as say popping a pill. You're used to driving around in a Ferrari. Getting from A to B in record time with little to no effort. Now you're adderall free and driving around in a Ford Focus. It sounds worse than it really is. It's not as enjoyable and not nearly as fast as an Italian supercar but you're still able to get from A to B. At least you won't crash and burn as hard in your Ford as you did in your Ferrari.
  5. Hello

    I still have days like this man. Doesn't everyone? How long have you been off of adderall? How much were you taking and for how long? Coffee helps me get out of bed in the morning and Wellbutrin helped a lot in the early stages of recovery. It has many stimulant like properties and it has zero chance for abuse. You'll feel god awfully sick if you take more than you're supposed to. Exercising really helped with me dude. It become my new addiction. It gives me something to stride for each and everyday and it also releases dopamine and endorphins as well as raising my self esteem, which is something all addicts struggle with.
  6. New member

    Congrats on the 40 days! I'm new here as well. Sounds like you're making great stride in the right direction. Happy to hear you chose to take action by participating in an I.O.P. I took a similar route (several rehabs ---> halfway houses and the AA fellowship) and this has worked pretty well for me. It's great that you're able to admit that you have a substance abuse issue, as this took me years to admit to myself. I love reading everyones stories on here because there are so many parallels to my own. Early recover sucks for everyone, especially stimulant addicts, there's no sugar coating it. My greatest hurdle in early recovery was my brain chemistry, which I had little to no control over. The mass quantities of dopamine that I was used to via adderall was suddenly gone and there I was left in a hazy wake of depression and my own self loathing. Wellbutrin, coffee and cigarettes helped and exercise...Vigorous exercise. It's going to take some time for your brain to reach homeostasis. Is it frustrating not being able to function at the high level that I had become so accustomed to? Yes. Do I have days where I get depressed and overwhelmed by life? Of course. But guess what, this is completely normal behavior and everyone has some sort of internal struggle from time to time. I was a biology/psychology major so I've always had a scientific like approach with nearly everything in my life. I pray every single morning and if I miss a day, I can feel it. It's strange, illogical and intangible, but none the less an imperative tool to my recovery. I'm not trying to preach or push spirituality/god/religion/whatever you'd like to call it on you. I'm simply stating what works for me. Stay strong! Hope to hear more from you!
  7. Hello

    Thanks for the welcoming guys its great to be here! The on key to my success has been having a strong sober network of friends that understand me. AA and NA or the fellowship as we like to call it helps tremendously. What sort of issues are you experiencing my friend??
  8. Hello

    My story is quite lengthy and I'd to share my entire experience because it is so similar to the others that I have read. But to briefly answer your question I was prescribed to adderall as a kid, didnt start abusing it till I was a teen. Then from 18-25 I was taking something like 120mg/24 hours. Had two Rx's a month. Near the end I suffered from auditory hallucinations, was on the brink of taking my life, got admitted to a psych ward, went to jail for it, rehab 4 times, 3 halfway houses in 3 different states. Unfortunately, thats what it took for me to break free from the bind that adderall had on my life. Been clean from adderall since July of 2013. So 17 years total on adderall. Half of that time I was abusing it...though retrospectively, it was abusing me.
  9. Hello

    Hello! I just found this forum and I really like what I'm seeing. Everything I've been able to read thus far has been inspiring. It gives me a great deal of solace to know that I am not alone. The first article I read was "7 personal traits most adderall abusers have in common" which I was able to relate to at an unprecedented level. My goal is to help as many others here as I can. I feel like I could contribute a lot here and helping others will no doubt put some insurance on my own sobriety. I'll be posting my story when I can. I just wanted to introduce myself to the community.
  10. Why is rehab out of the question? Based off of what you posted, it's not like you've got a job or any other obligations. Most insurance plans can help cover the costs of Rehab. I understand though, I was reluctant to go to rehab too. There's a lot of perks of going to an inpatient facility. Most of the staff will be in recovery themselves, they'll cook for you, schedule your daily activities and be there for you 24/7 if needed. Also the people that you'll meet there are just like you. Most rehabs will also help you get into a halfway house where you're required to find a job, do choires, attend meetings and be sober. Going to rehab and then going to a halfway house helped me learn how to live a normal life again and some of the people that I met along the way are my best friends today. Try to look into privately ran facilities vs. facilities ran by the state.
  11. Hearing voices

    Hey Bananas, I promise you that no one can hear your thoughts and no one is talking about you all day long, you're just not that important. Quite frankly no one is. You're not alone either. I experienced auditory hallucinations from adderall a couple of years ago. I heard several different voices. Some were in my head and some would also manifest from speakers in my TV, laptop, car stereo, drive throughs, and the PA system in grocery stores. I was a psychology major so I knew what was happening to me, in theory, but experiencing the hallucinations to the degree that I did led me to believe that it was reality. The voices would talk to me, they would laugh at me, laugh with me...They could be my best friend at times as well as my worst enemy. There were about dozen of them and they would interact with me as well as with one another. They would also tell me to do things and in retrospect I put myself and others in danger. I'm not going to go into much more detail, as it's extremely long, abstract, and quite some what disturbing. There were a number of factors that contributed to the onset of my auditory hallucinations. Taking adderall in copious amounts (which I was no novice to at that point in my life) was obviously the root cause as well as an anti-depressant (celexa) that I had just started. Combine that with lack of sleep and social isolation and BAM! Auditory hallucinations. The voices ceased after a month of being off of adderall which was a relief to say the least as I was able to rule out Schizophrenia. There's two possible explanations for the hallucinations you were or still may be experiencing. The first being amphetamine induced psychosis, which is what happened to me. And the second being early manifestations of a Schizoid spectrum illness. In order to rule the out the latter you need to have been off of adderall for a month, which you say have been. So since the hallucinations havn't stopped I would suggest that you either call the hospital or schedule an appointment with a psychological professional immediately. I'm interested in hearing more about your experiences. Feel free to PM me if your uncomfortable with posting