Lillyloo

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About Lillyloo

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  1. Where is everyone from?

    Ha I don't know how I survived. A lot of 2AM crafting DIY projects and Klonopin I suppose. My phone is about to die but I'm going to try and see if I can write you a DM later today
  2. Do you drink off Adderall?

    Im sorry. Does she have borderline or something? Sometimes there are deeper psychological components that can really make things more difficult for both ends.
  3. 14 Months!

    I really needed to hear this. Can't tell you how much I appreciate the hope. Thanks for keeping us posted
  4. Where is everyone from?

    I'm in San Diego too! North County
  5. Do you drink off Adderall?

    That's a great point. It is a small price to pay for the additional support. I have to say, not being hung over in any regard is a plus.
  6. Does getting hooked on amphetamines make us alcoholics? It's not my nature to seek out downers, but I do miss a glass of wine in the evenings. I can't have any alcohol because I get tested every day
  7. Which was more awful?

    The answer isn't so black and white. for me. What makes Adderall so insidious is that the fleeting high can make even the worst of times seem bearable even if they aren't. But that high ultimately goes away and what's left is always a mess. It's the inevitable coming down off of Adderall I have to compare a sober day to. Compared to those days, sobriety is better.
  8. Just Flushed Pills!!!! QUITTING

    That's amazing!! Flushing pills takes a lot of courage. Good job Remember to be patient with yourself and accept the initial "lows" as just part of the HEALING process. Despite not feeling great and not wanting to socialize when I first got off, I noticed that I was more able to make genuine connections with friends. Not just surface level. There's just a calmer energy you emit when off Addy. Anyway best of luck!!! Lots of rest and like I said, PATIENCE <3
  9. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    I should add that while I am struggling a bit with certain things, I *do* feel a lot better on average than I did 4 months ago. Got to give those dopamine receptors time to upregulate!
  10. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    Thanks everyone. Words of encouragement seem to be the best remedy thus far. Im at four months. I had to go to to treatment and go to a sober living (still here). I don't know if that needs to be the solution for other cases but for the amount I was on and for the length of time it has all been very necessary. At treatment I started off with 60 mg a day and tapered 10 mg a week until I was at zero. I don't think I personally could have mentally committed to going off of it without the taper. Even 60 mg felt like baby aspirin at the time. I've been going to AA meetings every day partially because it's a requirement as part of being in my sober living. I would go to more NA meetings but they are less common around here. I have to say it is really hard at times to relate and stay positive - I don't think people on other substances can always identify to some of the withdrawal effects of Adderall. And that goes both ways...when I hear people often talk about anxiety I'm like, what anxiety? Can I get that in pill form? In general I don't find former Addy users openly out there so I gravitate towards former meth addicts when I can. Alcohol and most other substances are depressants so I find that the recovery process is by nature different compared to stimulants. When I share my problems with depression and lethargy in meetings, people often act that it is an issue of spiritual malady and that I just need to give in to a higher power, and once I do that I will feel better. I won't argue that I have a spiritual malady but I don't think it's the main source of my physical and mental withdrawal symptoms at the moment. I'm not saying that this is harder or easier than other peoples problems… It's just very different. But even saying that I've been informed that I suffer from "terminal uniqueness". I don't know. Maybe so. Being quoted the big book all the time as a solution to PAWS can just feel frustrating. Sometimes Netflix maybe IS the right thing to do On the positive side AA does provide a focus on recovery as a whole though I have yet to really relate to other people's stories like I have on here. I am definitely grateful to have found this forum!
  11. 300mg a day down to 0mg

    Three hundred. My god lol I hope to share my story once I've got more clean time and mental strength to do so. The fact that I was able to even sign up for an account and follow through with a post feels like an accomplishment in itself. If an extreme 10 year case like myself can be on zero, you can do it too