Frank B
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Posts posted by Frank B
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I know in my younger days going out with friends at the end of the night doing a little blow was a common theme. Things have changed a friends brother of mine just died from doing cocaine laced with Fentanyl. Not that cocaine was ever safe but now your sort of playing Russian roulette never knowing what’s in it hope your friends realize the risk. But that’s cool to do softball tournaments always love playing and still feel just maybe that a mlb scout is checking out the softball beer league and will be impressed lol.
Anyways congrats on one year for me it was hard really wanting to see daily progress but just having ups and downs. I took a lot more than you for a lot longer plus was doing pain pills. But appears even people who did small doses for short periods of time still have issues after one year. Unlike most people personally I have not had a ton of anxiety I feel the first year I did once in awhile mostly in large stores like Lowe’s I feel it was associated with the fluorescent lights for some reason. I did pick up along with many more supplements one called lithium orotate, it seemed to help at the time but then again could have been a placebo effect. You might check it out basically the claim is we no longer receive lithium are bodies need because of filtered water. It’s a natural mineral the body is missing and without it we can have issues like anxiety. Do not get it confused with prescription lithium which is very concentrated it’s completely different. Wish I had more words of wisdom but seems we are all in this together trying are best to get back to a baseline level and seems besides the obvious exercise and diet time alone is the biggest factor for recovery.
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Just finished the book Living With A Seal aka David Goggins guess I’m a fan, good book of inspiration for running along with pushing your personal boundaries.
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34 minutes ago, DrewK15 said:
Social media is really unhealthy for a lot, if not most people. I think most active users are feeding some kind of validation addiction, it’s really irritating to watch. Deleted it all and haven’t looked back, it just made me depressed and anxious. Too bad you have to keep it for business.
I recently went to a local casino, just looking at all the lost souls mindlessly feeding slot machines looking for that hit of endorphins from the flashy lights and sounds drinking and smoking health away was really sad, especially given how many were on oxygen machines. Then you realize the same people paid to create those kind of machines are now hired by social media companies it sort of hits home.
I have been guilty myself of constantly checking Facebook. Even if I’m was not posting I just felt left out if I did not know who was bitching about what or whatever. It is definitely an addiction and one now I’m taking on. I recently deleted it from my phone and only checking on my pc once in awhile. I guess we all want to feel important, special and not left out. But the reality of social media is just like real life the world will not stop spinning if you leave it.
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Just observing my own fb seems the days of any joys of reading news feeds are completely gone. The realization that virtually only the same people with the same views that will never change are the only ones constantly posting. Then u get the holiday bs of family pics that everyone post, like o wow u had kids pose in front of the Christmas tree original or u went to a local holiday venue where thousands of others posted selfies. No one is real anymore besides maybe the assholes who want to push the way they view the world is the only right way. But are they real? Na they just want everyone to know they are on team left or right. Sure people share emotions the home team won a game, the weather is fucking hot or it’s fucking cold, my pet is fucking awesome, like what’s the point of all this shit? If I did not have my buisness in the mix feel Id delete my fb. Anyways glad I have this place to be real even if you don’t know my real name lol.
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KomGordon , I do take pride in quitting but do I feel it’s a right of passage? Should everyone need to suffer years? Hell no! If you find a method that really helps avoid one to two years of misery I would encourage all new users to follow it. Yes I know how low you got don’t say your case is beyond everybody else.
I’ll be honest you sure act like your on adderall right now with your ego maybe your little science project on yourself is working a little too well. Your still new to this come back after a year of stopping all your peptides etc and say your doing great, then that will prove your experiment worked.
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Congrats on tossing your meds away and getting rid of future scripts. I still have a short video of the day I put mine in the paper shredder as a reminder of the day I quit for good.
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2 hours ago, EricP said:
Anything that causes dopamine up regulation will cause receptors to down regulate and land us in the same boat over time.
Just wondering if you have proof of this? So you’d say no one should take say Wellbutrin because it’s a mild stimulant also? Although taking 0 stimulants would be ideal while recovering from abusing adderall for some it’s near impossible and if you want to claim taking any will just totally screw up recovery (which let’s be honest has no real timeline) I’d just like to see the studies that back it up. I see people with 1-2 years clean going back to adderall because no one has any options for them except mostly a bunch of snake oil supplement remedy’s. I just think we need to keep a open mind the main thing is people not going back to adderall and of course not doing illegal street drugs in place of.
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You put all that together in Reddit?
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On 1/6/2019 at 2:53 PM, BK99 said:
Frank,
$200. I loaned it back in September.
I believe he should have paid u back or at least given u a heads up about it by now. If he’s offended but hasnt offered payment or given some timeline I sure wouldn’t feel too bad about it.
Im open on here and open when I attend NA about my recovery. But honestly nobody understands at all what this is like. I mean u go to rehab for opioids or booze u get a fucking big thumbs up from society. But quitting this shit people are like wtf is wrong with u fucking lazy ass get back to work! It’s really hard to deal with that when you’ve been the complete opposite for so long on this medication. I wish more help would become available for people quitting it’s very hard but your in the right place with people who know what your dealing with.
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How much money and how long has he owed you?
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Sounds like your doing a lot great job!
Addy helped my depression also but more than likely just sort of masked it. I have a lot more depression in the winter with the lack of sun exposure for sure. I look at my phone too often as well but pretty much everyone these days has the problem it seems. Im not sure where your at on recovery but the 3rd year things seem to improve more so don’t feel where your at is how it always will be.
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I understand quitting but still looking back st times. Do u still work nights?
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After listing to audio book by David Goggins ‘Can’t Hurt Me’ inspired me to really start to push myself training and everyday activities. With the right mindset you can overcome anything and I’m done looking at my laziness with a pass I’m beyond that point of recovery to go easy on myself have for way too long. The audio book is awesome because it’s almost like a podcast with him going over the chapters just read. Gonna start running more done a couple 5ks but like to do 10k or a marathon next. Listing to him talk about his 24 hr 130 mile bad water race in the dessert was something else true inspiration. Give yourself a Christmas gift and download or buy that book.
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Had a childhood friend older brother just OD from cocaine laced with fentanyl. Taking any drugs off the streets these days is really risky can see more people looking to get adderall scripts since OxyContin restrictions and the risk of any street drug. To be honest I don’t care much if junkies seek it out what gets me is parents giving it to children and adults taking it for help and not realize what they are getting into. Doctors never tell you what happens after long term use and always play down the difficulty of quitting.
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2 hours ago, SeanW said:
Man, I’ve been on a two months binge after being clean for 18 months. I’ve given up on life. Im sick and tired of it. I hate myself and I hate life and there’s nothing I can do about it. I just want be dead. I want it to be done. I’m damned if I do damned if I don’t. Nothing about life is fair. I’d rather check out. There’s nothing left here for me. I’m a piece of shit. I’ll never make it out. I fucked for life. If I never get back on here it’s probably because I’m dead. I gave it my best. I really did. I tried and gave it my all. Anyway, peace and love to all even though I don’t even have peace and love anymore. I wish you all the best. In an alternate reality things may be different. Oh well.
Sean sent you a personal message hit me back buddy.
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I had some major dental work in my early 20’s all paid for myself. Had pallet expansion done by sugary really sucked, removed four teeth had braces for several years. Although during my addy days I never took great care of myself whenever I did sleep was religious about wearing my retainer I recall couple nights if I was staying up even put them in, funny I was killing myself slowly yet had to have perfect teeth. Anyways my teeth now look the same if I go without my retainer for even one night I notice a big difference in how tight it fits. But on addy I recall telling my dentist I feel my jaw popping it was constant, it was from the drug so jacked up full of tension after I stopped so did the popping I bet without that retainer I probably would have grindinded my teeth at night. You can order retainers on a sight called sportingsmiles.com I’ve used them great bargain for replacements.
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On 12/12/2018 at 7:10 PM, Danquit said:
Of course I miss the intense euphoria of popping Adderall and doing my taxes or putting together some Ikea furniture but come on, that is not natural!
Fuck IKEA! I put a queen size bed frame together with drawers “post addy” took me like 3 days, never again.
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It’s very frustrating being with someone who makes life miserable I can relate. I’m not sure if you’ve gone over the fact that you feel the drug is the problem yet or not but it would be good to go so. If possible share this site with her. But the problem is no one can force anyone to get off this drug after all its “medically” needed a doctor said so. But here we all know the truth, getting diagnosed for adderall is the easiest things on earth to do. Even if one doctor says no four more would say yes.
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You have to manipulate your mind. Tell yourself a near impossible situation that will allow yourself to take it again. Say we are invadid by aliens and they come to you. They tell you the only way to save mankind is taking adderall, if you say no they wipe out the planet. Much as you will hate to given you’ll save the fucking planet you give in. So in fact your not telling yourself never and silly as it seems it does help. Just mind tricks I told myself keeping me off that crap for 3 years. Don’t fight those inner thoughts that never seem to go away just try outsmart them.
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Well just update of overall shit lol. Anyways one thing I’m noticing not wanting to drink much is suddenly my interest in watching sports dropped big time after all what to do if not drinking while watching games of young athletes living glory you never had or will have. Don’t get me wrong I still watch my local teams but if I miss a couple of their games I don’t care as much. My workouts have been getting harder, off the daily booze I have more intensity but also it could be to my change in diet. Ok I’ve been a big fan of keto was basically on it about maybe 1.5yrs. But reading more and looking at my lifestyle decided to stop and bring some carbs back in and reduce the fat intake. Carbs being mostly rice and sweet potatoes nearly daily. I’m not eating fries or chips unless it’s skip day which now is more of a cheat meal not a entire day. I was tracking my calories and learned I was in a calorie deficit. So now I’m eating normally good sized meal 3 sometimes 4 times a day with a protein shake every meal with some carbs, veggies and lean protein meat. Being off the keto I really do appreciate that diet it does work far as loosing weight and food was great. But if your hitting the gym 5-6 times a week it can drain you. I seem to have more energy now. So it’s hard to know what’s been better the new diet or cutting off the nightly buzz but I’m going to keep doing what’s working. Plus I feel a lot better my kids don’t see dad having a couple of beers every other night. Hopefully they will recall when older dad ate healthy worked out almost daily and drank occasionally. They are a big reason I quit addy did not want them to see me pop pills everyday to be productive and now I’m continue to grow and be a better role model.
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I didn’t read it all but if he’s still gone probably best think it’s more than just adderall but it’s certainly a big factor.
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On 11/30/2018 at 8:35 PM, SeanW said:
I’m trying to decide what to do with my future and have looked into hvac training and also operation technology like power plant operator stuff. Can I make a decent living working with hvac training or do I pretty much have to start my own business to make any money?
If I worked for someone else right now I’d probably bring in about the same amount of pay but work double the hours. So you can make good money working for someone else, just more work. If I had more buisness smarts I’d probably be making a lot more but that’s just me. I’m fine where I’m at maybe once I’m totally over this post addy fog I may get more ambitious to grow but right now can’t handle that pressure and I’m paying all my bills so I’m happy. If I was to ever quit my company I’d for look into going Union they make very good money plus killer benefits with retirement packages. The bad side is the pay sort of sucks to starts union or not but with time it gets better. Huge shortage of younger techs in this field so if you want job security would be something worth looking into.
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I jumped right in knew it was probably horrible for me but was so thrilled I could work non stop didn’t care. I basically remodeled my entire house on that stuff. But recall I was so fixiated I lost friends they came over we’re supposed to go out and I was doing tile in my bathroom at like 9pm on a friday this was still in my later 20’s. Pretty soon the phone calls to hang stopped I was a full blown workaholic for about a decade. Accomplished a lot I don’t regret all of it but sure did miss a lot of life with all my projects. I’m not your typical academic scholar taking it to cram on midterms. I was using to run my hvac buisness, remodel flip homes and restore old pinball games basically I never slept just work work work. Now I’m 3 years clean I love to sleep now. I still like my job but the remodeling and game repair stuff stopped. My main hobby now is health working out and eating right maybe some would say a little obsessed but now I make time for family friends and sleep for sure. It’s been very hard but I had no choice Little doubt I’d be dead if I never stopped. I was so messed up I was planning a suicide to end the madness because never thought I could actually quit.
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8 hours ago, sleepystupid said:
@Frank B almost a full month now, how do you feel? funny you mention the 2-3 beer buzz thing, i very recently found myself doing this a few times a week, i can see how it can become quite habitual lol
Feel good wouldn’t say life changing but here is the positive. My little pouch belly has gotten flatter lost about 3lbs, even with a strict diet working out nearly everyday a few miller lites will keep you from ever getting a 6 pack at least at age 40 and I’m getting close to having one. I know it’s kind of a d bag goal but never had one so going for it why not. Also a lot less peeing it’s like soon as my lips taste beer I gotta pee all damn night and all morning so not dealing with that is nice. Not relying on it every night to relax just learning to cope without it. I did drink on Thanksgiving but I also ran a 5k in the morning played flag football after I felt I deserved it dammit. I only drank 2-3 beers entire day did not drink to get a buzz did not crave getting a buzz either just enjoyed the beer. I feel moving forward drinking will be a occasional treat having with a weekend cheat meal. Far as more energy focus to be honest haven’t noticed much difference but sure it’s helping in some ways.
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Couch to 5k
in Lounge (off-topic stuff)
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Far as running to prevent injuries have any of you guys looked into minimalist shoe wear? I’ve heard how modern shoes trains us by design to be heal runners, I know for me I do even when I try not to. I have not read Christopher McDougall book but see some of his you tube videos and his theory of modern runner injuries linked to athletic shoes makes a lot of sense. Last summer I did a few hill runs in the grass barefoot think I pushed too hard and got a pretty bad calf injury. Actually I just felt it hurt but kept doing them then did a 5k when it shot to shit, I made the finish in good time but couldn’t walk for a couple days. But now I’m considering buying a pair of minimalist shoes off amazon but this time taking things slow no barefoot hill runs or long runs right out the gate.