[Joe Rogan - Why We Sleep]

Love his podcast although hard to keep up each one between 1-3 hrs long has a new one seems like almost everyday lol. Sometimes feel old I like listing to podcast and sports talk more vs music driving guess once you hit like 37 you’ve heard all the songs u like way too many times and all the new music sucks. 

[Found an old pill and flushed it]

Funny how strong those things are like Frodo and the ring it talks to u. I recall during my abuse I’d run out and search everywhere for hours hoping to find one addy or pain pill that fell out somewhere. I’d look everywhere crawling on my dirty shop floor even if it landed in cobwebs whatever I’d brush it off and take it. Sometimes I just enjoyed looking for lost pills like a quest I was one sick puppy. Like you if I find one can’t think about it just must destroy it ASAP. 

[Anddddd I relapsed...sorta.]

Nothing to be embarrassed about we’ve all done what your doing. I would say this don’t look at a psychiatrist for answers they only prescribe drugs you want off drugs correct? You might instead seek help from a Psychologist one who does not prescribe meds but seeks real answers to your problems. Wish you luck either way.

[What do you think?]

I bet 10% or less for adults kids I’m sure it’s higher of sticking to a dose because parent monitor the distribution of legal meth for their children, idiots.

[Feeling good and very lucky.]

21 hours ago, Danquit said:

Yeah Frank, I’ve been a lazy ass for two years and only recently started to feel some natural ambition coming back. I don’t know if I feel like I’m on it but I do feel I’m back to before Adderall days. I still have to self motivate but it’s getting easier. I am naturally kinda lazy if I’m not doing something I love to do. Unfortunately, I have to rediscover what I love because Adderall skewed my passions for years. 

Guess I’m lucky enjoy my trade been working some long hours lately and still try to hit the gym although my work can be very physical so some days skip. The best part even if it’s hot I’m in the sun it gives me a lot of natural energy I could never be in a office everyday I’d be miserable although I do office work after 8-12 hours in the field. I know why I went on addy not because i was lazy just wanted to do more but now realize even if my phone is ringing non stop, jobs scheduled out couple days or weeks because I can only work so many hours, office work behind it really doesn’t matter. I’m one person people and things can wait. I’m important, my kids are important and sleep is very important something I thought in the past was a waste of time too much to do. Hope you find your passion because your ready to take whatever on your good at. 

[Feeling good and very lucky.]

Sometimes now I feel like I’m back on it, then recall before I took addy I was actually a very motivated person naturally it just 2 yrs couple months for it to return after stopping adderall. Any doctor or person wants to say withdrawal symptoms for that long is all just in our heads like to slap the piss out of them. Yes I was pretty much a lazy ass for 2 years doing the bare minimum but never wanted to be and none of us do why it’s so hard for us to quit but we fucking made it hope others can do the same. 

[Anthony Bourdain suicide]

18 hours ago, SeanW said:

My dad doesn't believe the adderall is the problem he just thinks I'm a lazy ass, I've tried telling him and showing stories on here and he's just like, "that is out of your system in a month, you should be fine" he's just recently told me he's going to kick me out if I don't get my shit together. But yeah, I still agree I've been very lucky he's helped me out this far. 

One month my ass it takes 2 yrs get your shit together. I’m pretty much back where I was now before addy but was a very long struggle. 

 Far as this suicide I’m betting he was on a SSRI for mild depression then decided to off himself like so many others taking the mind altering crap. Could be adderall related as well all those Hollywood people on that shit but still does not trigger suicide like many antidepressant medications.

[Dreams are making recovery difficult today]

Hope you are staying off let us know remember your addiction side of your brain is very strong right now. It will do anything to make you give in be it dreams, depression etc just know on a long enough timeline that addiction grows very weak. It will always be around but it gets much easier believe me. Right now your in a battle for your mind and soul your addiction side is very strong but know everyday you don’t give in it gets a tiny bit weaker. 

[Dreams are making recovery difficult today]

O yeah if your like me you’ll have dreams of using quite often the first year. Your going to have huge ups and downs first month. Don’t worry about doing much just the bare minimum for a month or two it’s the only way. 

[Rehab Specifically for Prescription Stimulant Abuse]

You found it here online. I did go to NA however felt sort of a fraud because sorry I’m not giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. Sure know I should etc but I’m not. That’s not a trigger for me at all to take adderall. My trigger was each and every morning drinking a cup of coffee wanting to kickstart my day to kick ass at my job. Did I drink too much on addy? Yes I did but that was only after working all day then drinking at night still taking addy and working in my shop until the sun came up then back to coffee. Anyways some on here would argue you should quit both believe it’s up to each individual to decide that for themselves. Personally that’s why I never got in real deep with NA but was good to talk to others about addiction. More help should be offered for us but probably never will be so just be glad for this site to help each other out. 

[Confession: still dating girl on Adderall]

My sons mom who lives with me got a new script couple weeks ago. I tossed that shit right in the toilet told her you bring that shit in here again I’m kicking u out on the street. You continue date this girl your putting yourself at risk my situation is a little different believe me if we didn’t have a kid together she wouldn’t be here but while she is I do not allow that crap in my house.

Btw how the fuck can u spend 4hrs rearranging a woman’s wardrobe off adderall? Actually come to think about it even on addy don’t think I could make myself do that. She must have some voodoo punany be careful with this one. 

[Went to neurologist]

1 hour ago, sleepystupid said:

interesting- how much does a week's supply cost? and route of administration is injec

On 5/21/2018 at 1:05 PM, SamJo said:

He was also like vyvanse isn’t neurotoxic but I thought it was? Idkkkk. Anyways I’ve actually been feeling GREAT especially after using Cerebrolysin for a week and I’m only on month 5 (with a few slip ups) so woohoo! But the neurologist was like if you’ve been off for 5 months and still have these symptoms you should probley go back on. Like ok no fucking thanks 

Cerebrolysin can’t you order that but says not for human consumption? Seems kind of risky although I’m feeling much better because of the time off this crap would never shy away from something that could help us ex addicts feel even better if it’s safe. 

[Anyone try Qualia?!]

On 5/14/2018 at 9:55 AM, EricP said:

Could be right. These vitamin companies are good at marketing and explaining what each ingredient is and what it does though. This one is a blend of a lot of nootropics that would likely cost well over $100 to reproduce in individual form. I was most interested in the potential cognitive boost from this which I do feel, however I can say the days I have not taken it I do feel a little extra low, so that’s not a good sign either.

Ultimately we all hope for our body and brains to rebalance naturally however I am not convinced this will happen either. Seems like there must be a way to aid the process without so much guess work!

I read a study of cocaine users suffering withdrawals. Cocaine affects the dopamine system differently so the fix was to give them a single dose of amphetamine which instantly reversed the dysfunction in the dopamine system from cocaine use. Won’t work for us, however was an interesting read

It’s time my man it sucks I know but that’s what heals us. I don’t know if dopamine  levels slowly rise or we just forget what it’s like to function daily on speed. Lately been listing to my iTunes while working a lot of the songs bring me back to being strung out on addy listing working all night in my shop on some project. I sometimes even feel a little high while listing the minds very powerful it’s scary. I think we can all overcome this don’t hate yourself for what you did just accept it move forward and know it’s something you never want back in your life again. Try different supplements but just don’t get scammed a lot of those pill producers use highly skilled marketing teams to persuade people who are desperate for help willing to spend anything. 

[Neurologist Anyone]

If you are fucked up beyond healing do you really want to know? People can overcome crazy obstacles in this life not actually knowing the odds. Just think back when you were nothing but a sperm if ya knew the odds of becoming a real person would you have even tried? Just sayin lol. 

[Anyone try Qualia?!]

I’ve spent a lot of money on these kind of things my first two years. However never $100 per bottle. You really don’t know what’s in this crap most ingredients are from China. If it bumps you up some who knows could possibly have a little decongestant medication in it which U can buy pretty cheap at a drug store yourself. My opinion your getting a placebo effect or it contains a mild stimulant and your wasting your money. 

[Progress at last]

I was a little tipsy writing that last night but was celebrating one really hard days work that paid me pretty damn good. Anyways this site has done so much for me but honestly feel at this point and time probably visit a lot less. It use to be every morning I’d wake up and say great another day struggling without adderall. When you have that feeling this site is such a great place to be. It’s finally not feeling that way and really trying to put it all in the past. Like to say further down the road I can help people more on here but for now taking a break and move forward. I’ll still check in time to time so feel free message me.

When it comes down to what is the secret to quitting in my mind are two very important things. 

1. You must get rid of all medication and sources to easily get a new prescription. If I had a emergency stash or still saw my prescribing doctor I would have failed by now no doubt. 

2. Time it takes so long for your brain to overcome the shock of quitting. Yes diet exercise sure helps but it does not cure, time alone is the answer in my opinion. The length for most hard users about two years plus to really start to feel a big change. Yes you can function before this point but it’s a struggle for sure. 

[Progress at last]

Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top
And I'm gon' shine homey until my heart stop. Ha gotta get gansta now and again. Im definitely feeling back people in my life who want to count me out judging from the last year or two watch me now I overcame something bigger then you can imagine! 

[Progress at last]

Day to day seems to really be getting better. Over the last few months so many times felt like saying screw this nothing will ever change it’s been so damn long! But listening to advice from people who have made it past my point of being clean really kept me going. I’m not saying everything is gravy but starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel. 

[Too long!]

I might have come off a little too judgmental. But in the end must look out for yourself. Try to help mention NA possibly try to get him into rehab. Beyond that you did your part just could not imagine having someone smoking meth in my house. No matter how good of friend people on that shit will lie steal and abuse friendships for personal gain to feed the habit. He would have been better off going back to freaking addy now it’s a new level of fucked. 

[One Word Status Update]

RCJH! - Final Four baby! 

[Too long!]

On 3/24/2018 at 10:06 AM, quit-once said:

 

Yesterday, I had a long visit with my best friend, who was also my adderall buddy.  He quit adderall about a year after I did.  But I learned that he wasn't even clean for a year when he discovered meth, and he has been smoking meth daily for about five years.  I let him smoke it my home, but I made him do it in the bathroom.  He offered it to me several times and I finally got pissed and told him I was absolutely fucking done with stimulants and I didn't appreciate him letting me know it was available.  He then admitted he was lonely in his habit.   When I quit adderall, I told my two friends whom I used with that I never wanted to see another pill or ever be offered that shit again.  For the most part, they have respected my request.  So now, my best friend is now unemployed, after getting fired from his teaching job for always being late; and my other addie buddy is now homeless and living in a park.  

 

Are you insane? You let this friend smoke meth in your bathroom? Takes one moment of weakness your ass could get hooked too. You need to cut all ties with that friend just a ticking time bomb for you. 

[Too long!]

I had a buddy got in a motorcycle wreck deer ran out in front of him he was cruising about 60 mph. He was a complete mess bad road rash a broken rib or two etc. He was never addicted to pain pills but has a lot of close friends fell victims to them. Anyways at the hospital he refused morphine and any pain medication stronger than Advil. He simply did not want to risk becoming what his friends became. He is also one tough sob to me that’s some inspiration. Hopefully if I was ever faced with a similar situation I could be that strong to say no. I know saying yes where that will prob take me. Suggest anyone on here to do the same if possible avoid taking pain pills at all cost.

To me pain pills were what give me that lost euphoria feeling in my last couple years taking adderall. It’s very similar and does give a boost of energy also. I recall finally realizing I had one fucked up problem got a couple bottles of liquid codeine from somewhere, taste was aweful but I loved it. I was working in my shop on some big project was drinking Red Bull & vodka drinks , popping adderall downing them with shots of codeine every couple hours for like 48 hrs straight. I’m really amazed I never overdosed pretty sure if I took all that now I’d die. I’m also surprised I never chopped my hand off working with power saws etc with no sleep and hopped up on all that. But doing all that finally realized holy shit wtf have a become? Knew from that point I was either going to quit addy and pain meds or I would die. 

[acetylcholine trial and error]

 If I blacked out behind the wheel from binging on addy for days could have killed someone and actually been in prison. I’d rather take this penalty and should consider myself lucky. Yes it fucking sucks at times but could always be worse.

[acetylcholine trial and error]

Bendryl knocks me out. Do your research find out the trick we need you’ll be a hero! I’ve pretty much given up thinking supplements and diet will ever be the answer. Every time I find something I think is working the placebo effect wears off and back to the drawling board.  Guess really only time alone heals it’s like a 2-4 yr mental prison sentence we all must pay for the years of abuse we did to ourselves. 

[Take Your Pills]

2 hours ago, SeanW said:

Man fuck that documentary. Has me contemplating future use. 

Fuck that those college students 5-10 yrs from now will be on here crying they want to stop.