highonlife

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About highonlife

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    sports, science, running, reading, music, and more.
  1. Bad Pharma

    Thanks for sharing!
  2. staying adderall clean, and getting better.

    InRecovery, thank you very much for your post. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I am 6 months in and have been encouraged by many of your posts.
  3. It's my time

    StartingOver, I literally started reading at the beginning of the paragraph talking about skipping to the bottom. I wish I had more time to read your story, but I don't at the moment. Just want to wish you the best with your recovery!
  4. has anyone returned to...

    haha ya I definitely go through phases. But the 4.5 month mark seemed to really stand out so far. I'm ready to see how long I can continue to progress.
  5. has anyone returned to...

    Kyle, I have thought a lot about that as well. It is scary to think how Adderall could have shaped our lives and influenced many of our major decisions in life. I am the same in many ways as when I took Adderall. I am still determined and study as much as I can, but everything is more balanced. I think the main thing Adderall did was allow me to have ambitious goals bc it allowed to to hide my insecurities. Without Adderall you have to man up. I am not sure where I would be right now if I never took Adderall, but I would like to say I would be heading in the same direction, if not even further down the way. Anyways, I think we change and mature regardless, but it is unsure how much Adderall has an effect.
  6. The Adderall is a lie.

    keep that mindset and it will allow you to be content and cruise through tough times.
  7. The Adderall is a lie.

    "I'd rather drift through life with ADD than speed through it with Adderall." So true!
  8. Earth to brain... hello brain...

    I can relate haha I recall being miserable at a job I had this summer where I had to sit at a computer forever. I also remember it getting better each day. I remember after a couple of months off of Adderall I sat and typed at a computer for 8 hours straight and was super proud of myself. Hang in there man!
  9. I am interested in your case because you are the only person on this website that seems to be in a similar situation as I was; however, you are obviously not ready to quit just yet. If you do decide to quit, let us know.
  10. Stanford, I understand why you would want to quit at a convenient time, unfortunately there is no such thing. I decided to quit before the MCAT because if there was anything I needed Adderall for it is these ridiculous standardized tests. I knew that if I didn't quit before I was accepted to medical school I wouldn't have the balls to quit. When things got tough and when board exams rolled around, I knew I would be tempted and surrender to the evil pill. I love to learn and I want to enjoy medical school as much as possible. I don't want to make myself miserable which is a guarantee with Adderall. I can see why many pre-meds justify taking Adderall for the MCAT because it is so much different than what one may encounter in medical school, but if I know I can do well on the MCAT without Adderall than I will never be tempted when times get tough in medical school, residency, etc. You should finish finals before quitting; if not you would probably have a freak out. Just know if you do quit, you will eventually have a freak out and have to push through it. It was probably the most crucial milestone for me.
  11. I'm screwed.

    You got this Finding Freedom! Just view the next two week as finding freedom haha. If you can get through these next two tough weeks while your brain chemistry is all jacked up just imagine what you can get accomplished on your own when you quit for good! You are going to have to be more mentally tough than any normal person. And that means you have what it takes to quit for good.
  12. I'm screwed.

    How so?
  13. Stanford, you are in the right place and I can relate very well to your situation. I absolutely had to quit Adderall because it was robbing me of so many things. I could go on and on about why Adderall sucks and no one should take it, but just know that I had the same fears as you. I had to sacrifice a lot of things. I mean A LOT of things. I KNOW that I could have abused Adderall and gotten the MCAT score I wanted and I would be starting medical school next fall. Just like all my tool bag pre-med friends. The difference is I wanted to obtain something without Adderall. Like you, I was unsure of myself and didn't prove much of anything without Adderall. So I decided to take a year off in order to train my brain to do what it needs for medical school WITHOUT Adderall. You seem like a very smart guy and you know as well as anyone, you are not going to magically become mentally sharp when you decide to quit Adderall. You have become dependent. I can tell my cognitive abilities are starting to reach where they were when I was on Adderall, but I still have a ways to go. Just know that you can do it because you will still want the same things whenever you quit Adderall; however, there is no motivation and you will see how big your balls are. I used to pull all-nighters like I was freaking getting paid. The latest I have stayed up is 1 am for a Biomechanics test this semester. Your study techniques and everything will have to change and that will take time, but you can do it. You just have to be willing to sacrifice whatever it takes. I would love to say more about my story and why I think quitting Adderall has saved my life and made me a better person, but I need to study for a Virology exam tomorrow. God bless.
  14. Stanford, I can relate quite well to your situation since I am a 22-year-old pre-med student. I quit Adderall about 5 months ago and it has been tough to say the very least. I am doing great in school, but my MCAT score took a major hit because my endurance was that of a second grade child. I am working to get my MCAT score up, but it takes a lot of righteous effort; I can't just pop a pill. I wish I had more encouraging things to say as far as academics, but it's just tough. My life is better though.
  15. please hear me out and give advice!!

    canes, I can relate very very well with you situation. I am a 22-year-old male pre-med student and I quit Adderall about 5 months ago. You have what it takes and it is very rewarding in the end, but I still struggle everyday. Don't expect it to be easy. I wish I could say more, but I have a Biomechanics test tomorrow I need to study for. I have learned to conserve more energy for study and less energy for forums There is no better time to quit than now. The other reason I haven't said much is because I don't know how serious you are about quitting. A lot of people aren't willing to take the time and make the sacrifices to quit. If you need help message me and I'll try to get back to you. Good luck man.