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Bryan2010

I've quit well every week but I think I'm actually ready to quit!

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Ok soooo it's been a while I pop on every once and a great while when I need to remind myself of why I quit! I can literally feel like death after a binge pretty much a zoned out zombie or worse and that me never wants to thouch adderall again that me wants to feel better and be back to normal that me flushes the remaining pills down the toilet. The problem is the sober me fogets all about it the sober me says oh it's fine you can just take one the sober me turns me back into the person I despise. This has been an endless cycle since I was introduced to adderall about 4 years ago when I started nursing school it wasn't nearly as bad in the beginning but life happened and I turned to adderall. I am currently coming off of a short binge but I can honestly say I think I may be able to quit for good. Yesterday I officially passed my RN boards. Adderall made me this super genius in the begging it was wonderful adderall also caused me to fail my boards 3 times. When I first posted on this site I really did want to quit but I knew in the back of my mind that I was staring the hardest semesters yet I knew my mind wasn't going to let me do it alone. I hate myself for the person I am on adderall and coming off of it but I can't dwell on the past I'm putting it behind me and never looking back. I know this is going to be near impossible at times but now that I'm completely done with my RN and the stress that goes along with that I know I'm ready. And coincidentally my doctor retired at this end of this year so this girl has no way of getting any even if I did want to. I'm really going to try and visit the site everyday maybe even post (im always so jealous of the people who post how sober they are) I want to be one of you I want my old life back my down to earth energetic caring personality I'm officially saying goodbye to the zoned out mindless zombie that doesn't care about anything but poping a few more pills to feel like even more shit. Well sorry I rambled on and I'm sure the typos are outrageous because I'm rambling pretty fast. STAY CLEAN IN TWO THOUSAND SEVENTEEN! 

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Good to hear you are going to quit! It's a battle but this site helps a lot  I'd say I'm addicted to it but rather be on here vs facebook. This site people are real not like Facebook putting on a fake show to promote how great their life's are. 

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