Smhjen

Almost 9 months off adderall and still fat, lazy and depressed AF

7 posts in this topic

I'm at a loss you guys.  I literally feel lost and alone.  No energy, no desire to do anything. I just don't care anymore. if I didn't have a family that loved me so much, I'd probably just off myself at this point.

probably doesn't help I'm living in a state where I don't wanna live and with a husband I'm no longer in love with.

i literally just want to runaway. I wanna goto sleep for like a year and then maybe when I wake up I'll feel better :*( 

 

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Now is the time to start creating the life you want to live! You quit for a reason, don't forget it. 

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Try to remember that your brain is chemically imbalanced. The 1st year post adderall withdrawal is beak. If you can, try to suspend judgment. Now is not the time to make big life decisions. One foot in front of the other and day to day. If you feel suicidal then go to the Dr and get a Rx. Frank said that welbutrian helped him. I'm taking memantine. St. John's wort (perika) may help. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I wish there was something I could do to help. 

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Girl!! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering how you were doing. I know exactly how you feel. I can even relate to the being stuck living in a place I don't wanna live (I'm in the middle of nowhere, near Alaska, wtf) and being stuck in a relationship that you don't wanna be in, but being too depressed to do anything about it because you're living in fear of what's happens next. The first year, all I wanted to do was sleep my life away... I was in complete misery. I had gained about 40 lbs that just WOULD NOT BUDGE. Honestly though, you really do have to expect the first year to suck balls. I doubt there's much you can do to soften the blow of that miserable first year. I would say I started beginning to have some better days around the 13 month mark. Not every day was good, but once in a while I would get a good one, so that kept me going a bit. Now (at 19 months) I have lost 25 of those 40 lbs and still going strong. I actually have some natural energy again (something I honestly was worried I would never get back!), I actually feel like doing stuff and I don't fall asleep at 8pm anymore. The depression & anxiety still linger a little bit but I have always struggled with that, even before Adderall. Anyway, my point is, hang in there and it does get better. It just takes time unfortunately. Sending big hugs your way ..... seriously hang in there, you are doing AMAZING and I'm so proud of you for how far you've come!! 

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It isn't easy, I get it. My plan was to go off and be 100% in a month. I realize now, it won't just come to me.  I have to work for it.  Try walking first thing in the morning for an hour. Listen to some good music or a podcast. Take your dog ( if you have one. ) I've started doing this everyday and have seen significant improvements in my mood & motivation.  It's also helped me shed a few of the lbs I gained.  Get on a strict diet.  I just started the ketogenic diet, but there are plenty of options available. I found a trick that helps me to get shit done. Everyday I list the things I did that were productive as I finish them. Yesterday, I had the day off. I listed-

1- walked dog 1 hour

2- made a healthy breakfast

3- watered garden

4- read for 20 minutes

5- finished resume

6- went to store

7- ran 1 mile

8- made & ate healthy dinner

9- Unloaded and loaded dishwasher

Anyway, you get the point.  This really helps me.  I use one sheet of paper for the whole week.  I can see on my bad days, the list is much shorter. This reminds me that  I can get better, but I have to work for it. I have to do things even if I don't feel like it.  The less time I have to sit around and think the better.

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Hugs to you Jen. I wish I could jump through this phone and make it better.  You've made it so far and that is such a great accomplishment so congrats on that. From what a few people say on here it can take longer than 9 months so please hang in there.

What would you say to your best friend or son or daughter if they were feeling the way you are feeling?  When I am feeling really down I try to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were feeling that way - and then I do self talk in my own head using those words.  I hope that makes sense.  

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I feel the same although it's only been three months.. sucks.. 

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