Popular Post ladypantz Posted October 15, 2022 Popular Post Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 I went into rehab on 2/22/18 after 17 years of abusing adderall and I have not gone back to using since. It's pretty amazing when I stop and think about it. Adderall and dexedrine abuse completely fucked up my life. Don't use it for as long as I did. I was just reading a post from someone who said that it takes basically a year to feel normal after each year of abuse. I don't quite know what normal is but I know my dopamine receptors are probably completely off and I have to work everyday to get up, go to work, and engage in basic self care. I was able to go back and get my bachelor's degree and get straight A's completely off amphetamines. I finally graduated in May of 2021. Since then I have had 2 jobs where I have been steadily working my way up. 2 years ago I was working shitty retail jobs and felt stuck. Now I am making about 45k a year and I actually have good credit, a car, and I'm responsible. I'm not where I thought I'd be in life but I really am trying my best to stop trying to compare myself to where I thought I should be by 40. I gave up alcohol twice.. on my second go-around of sobriety. About 6 months sober now. I'm just an addict; when I find something that makes me feel good I tend not to moderate. I saw a link on a recovery server I am on that posted to here and it just reminded me of this place - when I first was coming off amphetamines and dealing with PAWs the stories on this site made me feel so much less alone. I just want people reading this to know that life gets better. Life is not perfect by any means but I truly believe that amphetamines are the devil's candy and they will destroy your life in a way that no other drug will. Not sure what the point of this post is but just had some thoughts I wanted to share. Stay strong everyone. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momoffadderall Posted October 15, 2022 Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 4.5 years! That is amazing. Someone once told me to stop shoulding all over myself. Im not where are should be, im not where I thought I’d be. I’d say you are crushing it by overcoming this addiction despite the odds and you are enough just as you are. Who knows what your past is preparing yourself for in the future. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypantz Posted October 15, 2022 Author Report Share Posted October 15, 2022 My therapist told me that once! Don't should all over yourself lol. I tend to focus on the negative, what I should have done. I do this long and short term. Short term I can give you a whole list of what I have not done each day, and this keeps me stagnant. With my recovery I would beat myself up about how long I abused adderall, and how long it took me to come clean. That narrative overrode any sort of pride or accomplishment I felt for getting and staying clean. Cognitive behavioral therapy really did help me. I had this stuck thought in my head that I was a loser. I used to think that all the time about myself (along with other equally hateful ideas about myself). We're just all works in progress. I appreciate your kind words! I think it's important to take the past and learn and grow from it, and I may have used for a long time, but I overcame it. I'm not "broken" or a "loser". i don't tell myself those things everyday like I used to. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted October 17, 2022 Report Share Posted October 17, 2022 Yep, shed those shoulds! Shed the coulds and the woulds as well - they are merely preludes to excuses. Great job on 4.5 years away from stimulants, and especially the six months off alcohol as well. You got this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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