Rev&Rush Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 We need a place to count days. I have stuff on different threads but I would like a place to put stuff so I can document my days and adequately update anyone who wishes to read where I am. But for now I'm cutting an pasting. Is there a place to put a day count for yourself and reflect in writing? I dunno. Maybe I misses it. But here's what I wrote in another thread. Sorry for the repitition. Day 15. Just checking in. I'm ok. Tired & fat. But not popping pills. I'm off to get some sleep, my old friend. One more reason I'm happy I'm off. I can sleep, without having horrible anxiety dreams, without another handful of anxiety pills, without grinding my teeth. Sleep... With all my weird twisted dreams. Not always scary. Yawn. Good night. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 I agree about the day calculator. That's a great idea! Maybe you can suggest it to Mike? I DO NOT miss grinding my teeth and all the horrible canker sores. Those were the worst! Glad you are getting some sleep. Way to go and congrats on your clean time!!! Whoop whoop! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 We talked about the day calculator awhile back. Good idea asking Mike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev&Rush Posted February 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 A calculator is cool, but maybe another section to count & write. Like tell your story, post everything here... Count your days. Tally up & reflect. I don't know. I'm really ill tempered today amd easily frustrated. I just don't want to keep repeating myself trying to remember what the hell I talked about where. I can't even find my physical shit right now. Much less my cyber crap. I'm going to sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 You made me smile, R&R. I think a calendar is a good idea, it is tough to keep track for yourself and others and we can suggest it to Mike. Meanwhile, feel free to use this forum to be your tracking tool if you need! You can start a thread for yourself entitled "Rev&Rush's Daily Tracker" or something and post in it every day, or you can start new threads each day with the Day number in the title. Whatever works for you. Just don't be shy about posting - whatever works on getting you through each day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Yay for SLEEP. CONGRATS ON DAY 15!!!! I am currently on day 13. Longest i've ever been sober! Woohoo. I don't miss really much about adderall. I certainly don't miss the crash! Or the teeth grinding. And i especially don't miss the inability to sleep! Keep up the good work 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev&Rush Posted February 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 For now I will track here. Day 17. Yay! The hardest part was day 2, day 4, day 6. I don't know why those were tough (& they are even days) but they were really hard. I actually felt physically sick on day 4 but looking back on those days, I think it was the amount of sugar & chocolate I was eating. If anyone is starting out, get a big sack or Hershey's kisses or even better, dove chocolate. For some reason i needed them. It was well worth the calories cause now I'm here. I feel totally fine. I take a bunch of vitamins now, & that could be why I'm fine too. But the chocolate helped. I smoke, but had much less of an urge to smoke while not on adderall so the chocolate may have subbed in. If you are in your single digit days, try it. Im no longer strapping a feed bag of chocolate to my face, but I am finding little tinfoil wrappers still, all over my classroom. The second week was mostly lack of motivation. It's frustrating but it did not cause nearly the same amount of anxiety as when I was on adderall. When I tool adderall & started to procrastinate, the anxiety from that used to make me so... Fearful. I would shake & cry & then I'd take more. Cause that makes sense. Now, if it doesn't get done, then the world does not end. Really... It doesn't. But my home is messier, my classroom is a bit more disorganized and I stop mid sentence almost always. But guess what? The world does not end. I know, I'm surprised as much as all of you are. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 For now I will track here. Day 17. Yay! The hardest part was day 2, day 4, day 6. I don't know why those were tough (& they are even days) but they were really hard. I actually felt physically sick on day 4 but looking back on those days, I think it was the amount of sugar & chocolate I was eating. If anyone is starting out, get a big sack or Hershey's kisses or even better, dove chocolate. For some reason i needed them. It was well worth the calories cause now I'm here. I feel totally fine. I take a bunch of vitamins now, & that could be why I'm fine too. But the chocolate helped. I smoke, but had much less of an urge to smoke while not on adderall so the chocolate may have subbed in. If you are in your single digit days, try it. Im no longer strapping a feed bag of chocolate to my face, but I am finding little tinfoil wrappers still, all over my classroom. The second week was mostly lack of motivation. It's frustrating but it did not cause nearly the same amount of anxiety as when I was on adderall. When I tool adderall & started to procrastinate, the anxiety from that used to make me so... Fearful. I would shake & cry & then I'd take more. Cause that makes sense. Now, if it doesn't get done, then the world does not end. Really... It doesn't. But my home is messier, my classroom is a bit more disorganized and I stop mid sentence almost always. But guess what? The world does not end. I know, I'm surprised as much as all of you are. CONGRATS. I did the same. First week i was eating so much crappy food.Definitely helped. Keep it up 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Congrats Rev&Rush....good for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev&Rush Posted February 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Day 18. Still going. Advice to others: do the first week cold turkey when you don't have a demanding schedule. If there is some flexibility in your day, it helps. I was worried before my day 1, that I wasn't going to be able to do as little as possible. But I chose a week tthat I knew wasnt going to be that demanding to begin with. It's weird, but I used the adderall to help organize my cold turkey. Kind of a chicken before the egg, or turkey in this case. After the second week, my brain seems to be healing, so I'm able to organize myself on my own. Since towards the end there the adderall was no longer working as well as it did 8 or 9 years ago when it made me feel like Superman, I think I am doing an ok job getting my shit together, post-pills. Today my all time favorite part of not being on adderall is my even temper. I could have flown off the handle SO MANY times today, and I didnt. I actually gained some perspective. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 I love the way you're tracking your recovery here. Keep posting, it reminds me of the stuff I went through really early on and that I never, ever want to have to feel that exhausted and/or anxious again! And by the way, your descriptions are hilarious - I laughed out loud at the "strapping a bag of chocolate on to my face" one... Congrats and keep going! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev&Rush Posted March 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 Day 38 & unhappy I've gained 15 pounds. I feel bad writing that cause I don't want anyone to consider staying on this stuff If they are fearful of gaining weight. This is my experience. I'm sure other people are diciplined and won't eat like a horse. I'm tired & have stopped caring about being productive. I have some very important meetings and would love to crawl in bed and watch Netflix through all of them. I just don't care. I don't want to see anyone, talk to anyone, or do anything. I can't be bothered. I just don't care. I don't remember to do things so I get grief about that. But I don't care. I'm hoping people just stop asking me. My own complaining annoys me. I know I can't live like this and I'm seriously considering going back. What's worth it. I'm posting here cause I'm lost. Im just lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 I have a couple of thoughts for you. Reality gets in the way of taking adderall for the rest of your life. It is simply not doable, unless you want your life to be shorter and even more miserable. An addiction to speed is simply not sustainable. Period. And regular usage of speed always leads to addiction. Addiction=Unhappiness. So, Rev&Rush, you now have 38 days of life beyond adderall behind you, and if you stay the course, you can look forward to the remainder of your lifetime at least free from the addiction to this awful mindfucking drug. Do you really want to go through days 1-38 of adderall recovery twice? Or more? Unless you want to take it to your grave, this is the best time to quit and stay quit. Recovery is a process, and you just have to get through this process for the chance of a better life on the other side of addiction. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 [THE Falcon 160 fucken days clean from the evil pill addarall still fell like wet shit it jest runs thru your fingers . I know its gross but it is what it is .Depression is hitting me harder then it ever has energy level 4 out of 10 lonely bored no self worth no motivation no job spending my savings on jest getting buy day by day .So I ask you do you understand the meaning of wet shit depression please go away I will be a good boy I pramiss you I think this is some sort of pay back for all the stooped ass shit I have don in my life well I am paying the piper now so let it be the battle is not over for me . I still have some fight left in me yet. One day at a time my brothers and sisters from another mother live a clean life change your habits when you are still healthy and fairly Yong learn from my mistakes it is probably to late for me to regain my mental and physical health back so don’t fuck up your life like I have . Your friend and comrade The Falcon LOVE PEICE HAPPYNESS IS THE WAY TO LIVE 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 21, 2013 Report Share Posted March 21, 2013 So proud of you, Falcon. Thanks for checking in. One thing: Happiness is not a goal in of itself, it's a biproduct of other things being right in your life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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