LillyBeth Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 First, I'd like to say how thankful I am to have found this site last night! Maybe this has already been discussed and in my attepmt to limit my useage I haven't bothered to look...if so, I apologize. I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm ready to end my relationship what used to be my dearest friend, who I affectionally call "Addie." Maybe I can even meet some new folks here! In addition to the 5 signs, which I completely identify with, I realized there might be a problem when I was taking adderall to "be able" to do activities I used to look forward to and enjoy. Adderall used to be only the motivation for specially boring or difficult tasks that I didn't want to do. It was for late night "special occasions" or cram sessions. Now I've started taking it before I go to shows with friends, before I go out on the beach, before I do ANYTHING. Anyone notice the same thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 First, I'd like to say how thankful I am to have found this site last night! Maybe this has already been discussed and in my attepmt to limit my useage I haven't bothered to look...if so, I apologize. I'm finally at a point in my life where I'm ready to end my relationship what used to be my dearest friend, who I affectionally call "Addie." Maybe I can even meet some new folks here! In addition to the 5 signs, which I completely identify with, I realized there might be a problem when I was taking adderall to "be able" to do activities I used to look forward to and enjoy. Adderall used to be only the motivation for specially boring or difficult tasks that I didn't want to do. It was for late night "special occasions" or cram sessions. Now I've started taking it before I go to shows with friends, before I go out on the beach, before I do ANYTHING. Anyone notice the same thing? Absolutely. I'm no longer on adderall, but you bring up a good point. I started using it for school work, then chores....then later down the road I'd pop adderall in the bathroom of movie theaters, to wake up, when I was bored, when I was alone, when I was with friends, family....and the list goes on. Then my body started needing high doses just to not feel like crap. Are you wanting to quit? Have you seen the evil flip that happens when adderall turns on you? Please share more and welcome to the forums. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosthisguy Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 Umm.. definitely!! Before my first date with my ex, I obsessed over the correct dosage of Addy (I used the same name hehe) to take to make myself seem more outgoing yet not be too overstimulated. I would take it before the beach, too, because swimming just felt so much better on it! I did use it for schoolwork at first and then I NEEDED it for special occasions, too. Oh, we're going to take some Molly tonight at the rave? Might as well take Addy beforehand just because! Oh, we're going to do some coke tonight? Might as well mix it with another stimulant, wouldn't want to be boring without my Addy! Even if I was just sitting around with my friends, I absolutely felt like I needed it, then, too. It's the normal progression of addiction, unfortunately. I'm only 12 days quit, but I can tell you that simply hanging out with your friends really isn't so miserable without it after about a week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted July 13, 2013 Report Share Posted July 13, 2013 It's interesting that I used to call it addy back then, but now I hate that name for it. It feels like a loving nickname, and it doesn't deserve it 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldmcniel Posted July 15, 2013 Report Share Posted July 15, 2013 I had a love/hate relationship with Adderall. I do have a nickname for it, ORANGE DEVIL!. I view Adderall as a demonic force. Everything is great at first then slowly but surely, the life will be sucked out of you. You will be needing Adderall just to even function half way. It's an evil substance that can make a person evil, emotionless and a total bitch (or asshole). I have been clean for a few months and I still get pissed off when I see parents putting their children on it. I run a Facebook page and somebody posted on it about how ADHD drugs have been proven to make ADHD kids less likely to abuse drugs. I deleted it immediately. I have ADHD, the only drug I ever abused was Adderall an ADHD MEDICATION. Sorry for the rant, just in a pissy post Adderall mood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted July 16, 2013 Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 Haha, I used to call it Andy! And yes, at first it was for occasional hardcore work. Then I started taking it just to get up in the morning, or to get literally ANYTHING done. I remember taking it before dyeing my hair and painting my nails one time........ wtf? Or another day I had a MAJOR life decision to make so I spent a whole weekend tweaked out writing lists of the pros and cons of each, as if adderall was making me more decisive (it made me sooo indecisive!) I started 'needing' it just to go grocery shopping, thrift shopping, to read poetry....... to make art. And yes whosthisguy I can definitely relate about the social setting..... I once had an important brunch to attend and spent a bunch of time obsessing over the 'right' dosages of adderall and xanax so I could be more 'interesting' but not overstimulated and also relaxed...... WOW. Yeah it's a crazy drug! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olivia115 Posted July 16, 2013 Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 Wow, I can totally relate to the going to the bathroom and popping pills during the movies or I would be out to eat, barely touching my food, and go to the bathroom an take them, never finishing a meal. Looking back on it now it was so ludicrous but that was the mind of an addict working.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Same here. In college, I would buy it from friends only when I needed to pull all nighters or to write a final paper. Then later when I got my own prescription I would just take it on "special" days when I had a lot to do. Eventually that became every weekday, then every single day. I needed it just to get out of bed, let alone function in any kind of public setting, whether it was work or hanging out with friends. Occasional01 and whoisthisguy, I did the same thing with social settings. At one point I was taking more than prescribed almost every day, but on days when I had an important meeting or dinner or interview I would carefully lower my dose to a level that seemed "just right" for being stimulated but not tweaking. UGH. Soo glad to be done with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Also, the things I used to enjoy doing before adderall (and now, after adderall) were way less enjoyable on adderall. I didn't even really like being social. On adderall, a really good Saturday was one where my boyfriend left the house early to go do something, so I would have the whole day and house to myself to clean and tweak out on a weird project. Also, to start drinking early in the day as soon as I felt the crash coming on. If friends called wanting to hang out, I'd ignore their calls or make up excuses because I just wanted to be alone focusing on my projects. The only thing I enjoyed doing socially was going out drinking. OMG it makes me so sad to think about all those times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyBeth Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Absolutely. I'm no longer on adderall, but you bring up a good point. I started using it for school work, then chores....then later down the road I'd pop adderall in the bathroom of movie theaters, to wake up, when I was bored, when I was alone, when I was with friends, family....and the list goes on. Then my body started needing high doses just to not feel like crap. Are you wanting to quit? Have you seen the evil flip that happens when adderall turns on you? Please share more and welcome to the forums. Thank you for the welcome! I've quit denying, rationalizing, making excuses for the "evil flip." The honeymoon is way over and the only thing that will make me normal again is quitting. I've made it 3 days with NO adderall in the past 2 weeks...I know that sounds weak but I'm pretty darn proud. The funny thing is on the days I didn't take it, I felt creative again. My friends laughed at my jokes, I was way more normal than I am when I'm on it. Thank you all for the replies!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyBeth Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Also, the things I used to enjoy doing before adderall (and now, after adderall) were way less enjoyable on adderall. I didn't even really like being social. On adderall, a really good Saturday was one where my boyfriend left the house early to go do something, so I would have the whole day and house to myself to clean and tweak out on a weird project. Also, to start drinking early in the day as soon as I felt the crash coming on. If friends called wanting to hang out, I'd ignore their calls or make up excuses because I just wanted to be alone focusing on my projects. The only thing I enjoyed doing socially was going out drinking. OMG it makes me so sad to think about all those times. This sounds JUST LIKE ME!!!!! When I had a boyfriend, I did the SAME thing. He'd have to work on Saturday and I'd be like, "Yesssssss!" I ignore friend's calls also. When I MAKE myself go hang out with them, I think about how much I'd rather be at home doing something random like organizing a bookshelf or trimming my dogs' nails. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyBeth Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Umm.. definitely!! Before my first date with my ex, I obsessed over the correct dosage of Addy (I used the same name hehe) to take to make myself seem more outgoing yet not be too overstimulated. I would take it before the beach, too, because swimming just felt so much better on it! I did use it for schoolwork at first and then I NEEDED it for special occasions, too. Oh, we're going to take some Molly tonight at the rave? Might as well take Addy beforehand just because! Oh, we're going to do some coke tonight? Might as well mix it with another stimulant, wouldn't want to be boring without my Addy! Even if I was just sitting around with my friends, I absolutely felt like I needed it, then, too. It's the normal progression of addiction, unfortunately. I'm only 12 days quit, but I can tell you that simply hanging out with your friends really isn't so miserable without it after about a week! At this point I will be tickled pink if I make it a week!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 Wow. This forum makes me realize how much Adderall affected my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosthisguy Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 At this point I will be tickled pink if I make it a week!! It is really hard. The first time I went that long it was out of sheer hatred of Adderall. Of course, that didn't last long. You really just can't have a supply when you're trying to quit. I had to flush them all down the toilet. If that's what you have to do, go for it !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin86 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 LillyBeth, That is exactly how it went with me. I really had this need to be on it for all activities. It didn't start that way, but it ended up that way. Funny thing is, the adderall drove me to be socially isolated and filled with anxiety, and I would still take it before social events thinking I needed it. I had a 24 hour prescription, so I was effectively on it at all times, no matter what I was doing. Seems crazy looking back at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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