Popular Post Zerokewl Posted September 1, 2013 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 I am not exactly sure what day I actually took my last pill. Based on the dispense date , reviewing some text messages I believe its been 3.5 months since I took adderall and 3.1 months since I took concerta. I am randomly picking the 1st of the month as my quit day because I just don't know when. Remembering those early days is hard because I was in such a fog. I really don't know what happened in May I binged and crashed soooo HARD and began smoking weed/ drinking to deal. I really thought it would only take a week or two to get back to normal. I just didn't understand why I couldn't man up and deal. Why I was so tired, depressed , lost and avoiding mirrors. I couldn't even clean the apartment and having pissed off 90% of my friends I had only NETFLIX to keep me company. The darkest days of my life so far. I found this site, I found you guys and I found hope. In that order. My life has been getting consistently better since. I still have a long way to go. I get these memory glimpses of me before adderall and during Adderall (Scary). I regret taking the drug in the 1st place. I hate myself for allowing stress,career, competitiveness and greed pollute my mind. I hate big pharm. My past has past. Tonight I am saying goodbye to the person I was and the person I became on Adderall. The mistakes I made and the time I lost. Because today I AM FREE. I am here now mindful and in the moment and I feel everything. I'm going forward with this brand new sparkling life of mine. Rebuilding, Rebounding and Recovering I will overcome. I WILL overcome. I WILL OVERCOME. Thank you Mike for creating this place. Thank-you to all for reading and responding to my posts. Thanks to all that walked this road before. You are all beautiful amazing people. Though we will never meet you have done more for me than you will ever know. You give me hope for humanity daily. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted September 1, 2013 Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 Congratulations zerokewl, great post, thanks for sharing!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted September 1, 2013 Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 What an inspiring post and a huge congratulations on 3 months! I love your optimism....it's going to act as a great tool for your recovery. Keep it up! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted September 1, 2013 Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 Congrats on 3 months zerokewl!!! What a great post. I think you are amazing!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted September 1, 2013 Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 I have no doubt you will succeed with your Quit. You have owned your addiction and acknowledged your mistakes. You ARE in the process of moving on with your life. I think it is great you are from Canada. I was beginning to wonder if adderall was uniquely an American problem. After all, we are on the Internet but almost everyone who posts anything on this site is an American. Great three month post, zerokewl. Congratulations on your recovery progress and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 Thank-you quit-once, ashley,occasional. Quit once, I think Adderall is a north american thing. Britain has it too i've heard. Or something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 I'm late to the party, but congratulations from me too. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. YOU WILL OVERCOME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resetBrain Posted September 2, 2013 Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 Good job, ZK!!!!!!!!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2013 Thank-you all.. your support means the world to me. I think i'm going in the right direction. The drugs (concerta+addy) are 100% out of my system. The struggle now is mental. I've been thinking on this quite a bit. In a weird way I am still tweaking using redbull and supplements the same way I used adderall. Pop some pills play video games/netflix untill the pill kicks in then work. I need to work on the adderall mindset. Im chugging redbull and 5 hour energies like a World of Warcraft champion. Typing in this little box helps me get my thoughts straight. My goal for the 4th month is simple SLEEP. I want to get better at sleeping and creating a healthy rhythm. Waking up at 6am and going to sleep at 10pm. Currently I am not sticking to a schedule and its the worst thing for ADHD types like my self. I don't take ambien or any sleeping pills and have no desire to start. So to achieve this goal. I need to do the following: - quit smoking. I've done this before using Allen Carr's "The Easy Way" I am watching the video iPad app version today. - sleep hygeine- brush teeth, wash up, put on jammies, no technology I've been in the habit of watching netflix on my Ipad in bed. This keeps me awake. Read or meditate - exercise. Do something fun anything that gets me moving for 1 hour each day. - eat - 2 simple rules 1) if it comes out of a window or its part of a combo don't eat it. (fast food) . 2) don't eat things that you know you shouldn't eat - energy drinks - less coffee more tea. Energy drinks are for emergencies only. The withdrawal is done everything is mental,mental,mental. I'm going to the store to buy my last pack of cigarettes. My hope is by focusing on this one goal other things will start to fall into place. Thanks for reading I know I'm an intense dude sometimes Do or do not. There is no try.-Yoda 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted September 3, 2013 Report Share Posted September 3, 2013 Thank you for the inspiring original post. Post #9 shows that you have an excellent plan set up for yourself. "Plan your work and work the plan" was a favorite saying of one of my HS teachers. For natural sleep, you might consider melatonin. I haven't found it to be addictive; I just take it on occasion when I know I'm having a bad night. I don't like the sleep quality on Ambien anyways. Maybe a supplement like Energize could help you wean off the energy drinks without a huge crash? Best of luck and thanks for keeping us informed on your progress. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted September 4, 2013 Report Share Posted September 4, 2013 Zerokewl, Congratulations on achieving your first 3 months without Adderall! Thank you for posting a message with enthusiasm about your future. I needed to read this today because I am struggling. It is good to have your support, all the way from Western Canada. Keep up your hard work. It shows...and it helps others. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2013 Thanks Jon. Had a really rough day yesterday. Still very up and down. But up>down. Starting to experience a lot of anxiety and feeling very stressed. But I am soldiering on. I was seriously tempted the other day walking past my old doctors office. Your support all the way from Delaware means alot. You are also the only person from Delaware I know. 1Bad88 thanks "Plan your work and work the plan" is easier said than done. I really struggling with the smoking thing right now. I quit for a year once I want so badly to be back to that place. It is as simple as just not lighting the next one. I do take melatonin at night combined with Calcium supplements . I got up early this morning so I think I may be getting back on track. At any rate thank you for taking the time to check in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted September 5, 2013 Report Share Posted September 5, 2013 So much in life is easier said than done; just remember that if you have a set back in following your plan don't beat yourself up about it. Pick yourself up and get back on track. Maybe I'm just projecting on you because I know that I am guilty of dropping a plan because I failed at one or multiple steps (i.e. my exterior projects at home). Then I end up in a downward spiral until I recognize the behaviour and make a new plan to correct my failed plan. Of course I also suffer from failure to launch syndrome too because the plan seems too insurmountable. That might not make any sense, if it doesn't, just ignore me. Today is not one of my bright shiny moments. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2013 Thanks 1Bad88. I am really trying not to beat myself up today and not ruminate on things today. This article made alot of sense to me this morning. http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bounce-back/2013/09/you-might-be-in-trouble-if-you-dont-know-this-one-thing-about-your-mind/ "Failure to launch syndrome" I resemble that statement. Getting back on track is all in my head mental,mental,mental. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted September 6, 2013 Report Share Posted September 6, 2013 Are you doing better today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2013 Today is going ok. Thanks for asking. I kinda worked myself into a frenzy with worry etc. I'm leaving my worries in the hands of HP for today and just doing what I can do. Hoping to finish up a project that I started working on when I was on Adderall, completing this project will be a sort of milestone. Sorting through my Adderall code is really shitty. I'm a lot better than I was 2 months ago!!! Things will fall into place. Thanks for checking in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 My better work was done in the night hours after the Adderall wore off. What kind of coding do you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Mostly php/wordpress stuff. I'm gonna half ass this bitch and get it out the door. Been strugling with perfection paralysis for 3 days. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted September 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 http://globalenrichmentfoundation.ca/ Launched! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freedom's Wings Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 "Plan your work and work the plan" - NICE 1bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 "Plan your work and work the plan" - NICE 1bad I guess people can always rely on me for silly cliches and platitudes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freedom's Wings Posted October 2, 2013 Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 @ 1bad88 lol. Sometimes those are the only things that actually work. They help to create a mindset. Good on ya. Fw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted October 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2013 I wish I'd worked more of this plan in September. However I will not give up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted October 17, 2013 Report Share Posted October 17, 2013 How are things going for you ZK? I see you have a new feline friend, but that's not the end of the world I guess. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted October 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2013 Thanks for asking JustinW. I am doing great. The cat really helped me with my deep depression. I've keeping busy with freelance work. I'm coming on 5 months. Still smoking cigaretts i need to deal with that sooner than later. Buttttt I'm addy free and starting to see a real future. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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