TeacherZombie Posted January 12, 2014 Report Share Posted January 12, 2014 Hi, I would consider myself one of the people Adderall is/was right for, but my body disagrees. Here's my story. I was diagnosed with ADD-Inattentive and Depression when I was in the 7th grade. I had very few friends, was a compulsive liar, could not perform well in my classes, and could not read or focus on anything for longer than about 5 minutes. I was socially awkward, shy, and withdrawn, though I had a major addiction to computer games and online chatting. I was initially medicated just for the ADD, my grades improved somewhat, but I still avoided or lost homework, so didn't do as well as I could have. I was prescribed depression meds in the beginning of high school and suddenly started doing much better. I became a straight A student, but my Adderall made my OCD and General Anxiety insanely bad. I started having panic attacks. They continued into college. I saw a cardiologist when I blacked out on an exercise bike and found out my resting heartrate on meds was 120bpm, insanely fast. He said we had to bring it down or I could die of heart failure by the time I was 30. I told him I'm try the beta-blockers but would not go off meds-- I'd rather risk death. Beat-blockers alone didn't help, but they did when I lowered by Adderall dose from 30 to 20. However, I still had anxiety, but I dealt with it. However, with the beta-blocker, my previously exercise-induced asthma turned into severe life-threatening asthma that is untreatable by inhalers due to their action on the beta cells of the heart, which are blocked by the beta-blcoker. Last year, a I had a general practitioner tell me to ask my psychiatrist about going off the stimulants. he said I would only be able to if I had a repetitive and routine job, which teaching definitely is not. But, the more asthma attacks I have, the more I'm not sure maintaining the job I love, the relationships i have, and the identity I have built for myself as an academic, a lover of books and learning and as a semi-extrovert. I'm terrified, really terrified, but I also have a lot of very supportive friends. More than anything I'm afraid of losing my job and my marriage. But, I figure it's worth a try. Next week, I'm going to my psychiatrist and going to request to be switched from Concerta back to Adderall XR and to let me wean off by removing 1 pellet from the capsule every day for the first month, 2 per day the second month, 3 the third, etc, hoping to avoid the withdrawal effects I've come to experience when I occasionally forget to refill my meds on time. It may take 7 years, if there's like 80 pellets in a capsule, but it will be worth it I think. Unfortunately, the degree of my commitment to this plan does not change the fear that comes with it. I plan to follow the advice of a therapist who did psychoeducational testing on me last summer and see a psychologist who specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, as this is supposed to help people who are trying to maintain their identity during extreme emotional and mental changes. Hopefully that helps. The end. P.S. From what I have heard from friends who have gone off meds with ADD Combined or Hyperactive type, the experience is different. I am Inattentive type. I know teachers who are without a doubt ADHD Hyperactive, and they function because teaching is never boring. Being a daydreamer and zombie teacher is different. Society is also much more accepting of ADD individuals who are hyperactive. They don't understand the under-stimulated ones that zone out in conversations and live inside their own heads. It's sad, but I think that may make this 100 times harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Welcome to the forums from a fellow inattentive type! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIRB727 Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Welcome . You sound very self aware. I lack the control to titrate/ween down. Today is day 1. Cold turkey and nervous but day at a time it's all I need to think about. I'll need help for sure. Alone I'm a fiend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 Welcome to you also! Perhaps you two could partner together for a 30 day challenge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted January 13, 2014 Report Share Posted January 13, 2014 DIRB727, You should write a little something in the My Story section as to what brought you here and why today is the start of your quit. Having your own thread will bring support directly to you. Welcome aborad and good luck with Day 1! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DIRB727 Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Excellent idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Welcome to the forums and congratulations on day 1! In the beginning, I felt like I was taking it seconds at a time, because it was tough, but you can get through this! Breathe, sleep, eat, repeat. Be easy on yourself. If you had a physical injury, it would take significant time to recover, and addiction is the same way. All any of us can do is take it a day a time! Keep posting! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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