Perullo Posted August 6, 2014 Report Share Posted August 6, 2014 Whoops, Day 34. Guess I missed my big moment. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Day 8. Initially posted here months ago as a newbie proclaiming how I was giving up Adderall cold turkey, but ohh how I came running back. This is tough stuff! Trying to make it stick this time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Day 8. Initially posted here months ago as a newbie proclaiming how I was giving up Adderall cold turkey, but ohh how I came running back. This is tough stuff! Trying to make it stick this time. No big deal... Lots of people need a few attempts to get it right. It is tough as you say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Day 10 done. Had to do some promotional outreach today at work. I got nervous yesterday and thought back on how "zoomed up" I would feel on Adderall, which made me think seriously about taking it today when I had to be outgoing and peppy. But then I reminded myself how short lived that feeling always is and how I can never take it "just this once." One always turns into weeks, then months, of acting like a lunatic. Moving forward... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDTRFB Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Ugh. I had 161 days adderall free. I had a 6 day relapse. I am so ashamed and feel awful. Back to the drawing board....Today is Day 7 without adderall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Ugh. I had 161 days adderall free. I had a 6 day relapse. I am so ashamed and feel awful. Back to the drawing board....Today is Day 7 without adderall. Good for you for getting right back on here. Day 12, check. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDTRFB Posted August 20, 2014 Report Share Posted August 20, 2014 Thank you, Mila. Feeling pretty rough, right now. Congrats to you on 12 Days! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 GDTRFB, how are you doing? Today is day 15, halfway to 30. Felt pretty rough yesterday after having a work event Thursday night, and the exhaustion and lack of motivation continues today. Very happy that I made it through 2 stressful work weeks without a pill. As many of you write about, I'm realizing a huge part of this is accepting the crappy feelings, hunger, and sleepiness. Weight gain terrifies me. In the past, I would get to 20-something days clean and freak out and run back to the pills in an effort to lose weight. That won't happen this time, because I know taking a pill will no longer help me lose weight. I'm finally dealing with my food issues and weight obsession in a healthier way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 Day 16. Felt so great waking up naturally before my alarm and feeling ready to take on the day. This is exactly why I needed to quit. I had miserable weekends every weekend when I was in the routine of taking daily adderall (and experiencing the negative side effects and realizing my dependency had crossed a line I wasn't comfortable with). If I chose to take a break from the pills, I'd be a sloth all weekend. If I chose to take them, the extent of my neuroticism was made obvious with the absence of work on the weekends. Don't want to sugarcoat things, since yesterday I was completely exhausted. I Netflixed and drank coffee on the couch all day. Ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Day 17. Shit this is hard...drove to work and turned around and went home like a weirdo. My boss is away today and I can "work from home" but still, not good and very frustrating. I'm embarrassed but this is my only outlet to admit this and try to work through it. Now I don't know if I should chug some coffee and try to go in or take a sick day. I have a lot of work to do. Maybe I'll aim to go in at lunchtime. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Day 18. Felt better today, but need to make sleep a priority before midweek exhaustion hits me hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDTRFB Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Day 14 (174 days this year w/out adderall) Thanks for asking Mila! Congrats on your 19 days and making it through work. You are doing amazing! I ended up coming clean to my BF right after I posted on here. He was very supportive and promptly locked up his meds. I felt so much better after coming clean and talking to him about my slip up. I made the choice NOT to dwell on my "relapse" or continue to punish myself with negative feelings. Instead, I identified the emotional "trigger" that lead to me taking the pills. With that being said, I have to report that I am still feeling irritable, tired and depressed. It is no where near as bad as the months that followed my initial quit....but I have to admit that those 6 days took a toll on my healing brain. I am not feeling half as good as I did pre-relapse. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Day 14 (174 days this year w/out adderall) Thanks for asking Mila! Congrats on your 19 days and making it through work. You are doing amazing! I ended up coming clean to my BF right after I posted on here. He was very supportive and promptly locked up his meds. I felt so much better after coming clean and talking to him about my slip up. I made the choice NOT to dwell on my "relapse" or continue to punish myself with negative feelings. Instead, I identified the emotional "trigger" that lead to me taking the pills. With that being said, I have to report that I am still feeling irritable, tired and depressed. It is no where near as bad as the months that followed my initial quit....but I have to admit that those 6 days took a toll on my healing brain. I am not feeling half as good as I did pre-relapse. Great to see that you're getting right back to it and doing what you need to do, while being open and honest on here and in your life! Day 19. Relying heavily on caffeine and just bought some One a Day Energy vitamins since they have caffeine. Hopefully they will help. The next few days will be crucial for me. The longest I've ever made it on previous tries was 21 days. Last time I saw pics of myself around 20 days and freaked out about my weight and ran back to the pills. Still no energy for the gym and been carbing it up a lot. It's my goal to get back in the gym this weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Day 20. Looking forward to the long weekend and a fresh start in a new apartment next week. Happy to reach 20 days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 30, 2014 Report Share Posted August 30, 2014 Day 21, check. Startled by a physical craving for the drug today. Good thing I threw out my pills. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted August 30, 2014 Report Share Posted August 30, 2014 Day 21, check. Startled by a physical craving for the drug today. Good thing I threw out my pills.Did you cut off your supplier (doctor) so that getting more is not an option? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted August 30, 2014 Report Share Posted August 30, 2014 Did you cut off your supplier (doctor) so that getting more is not an option? Day 22 going strong. This may sound dumb, but what exactly do I need to say to cut off my doctor? I don't have any appointments scheduled and don't have any scripts. But yes, in the past I got to the point where I frantically called trying to make a next-day appointment to get my hands on it. Do I need to call and say that I'll no longer be a patient? Do I tell them I have a dependency issue? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted August 30, 2014 Report Share Posted August 30, 2014 Day 22 going strong. This may sound dumb, but what exactly do I need to say to cut off my doctor? I don't have any appointments scheduled and don't have any scripts. But yes, in the past I got to the point where I frantically called trying to make a next-day appointment to get my hands on it. Do I need to call and say that I'll no longer be a patient? Do I tell them I have a dependency issue? I told my doctor I was quitting because I was addicted and wouldn't be needing it anymore. You can tell them whatever you want, the point is just to articulate that you don't want another adderall prescription. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Thanks, Cassie. I need to call my doctor and will do so when the office is open in the week. Day 23, check. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesson Learned Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Day 2. Yesterday, all I could do was read this forum and relate to people like me and hang out with my cat. Today, I went to a 12-step meeting this morning for support. I told them where I was I how I don't know this person I have become. When I quit sharing, a man next to me told me, "I've been there, man." I began to cry. Clarity is happening right now and my old-self is feeling and coming alive. God, I is emotional and weird, but so nice and comforting. Thanks to everyone on here. Although I know many of you have not been as completely abusive to this drug as I have, you have made me feel welcome with your support. Brandon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesson Learned Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 Thanks, Cassie. I need to call my doctor and will do so when the office is open in the week. Day 23, check. THIS GOT ME! I didn't mention that I my story when introducing myself. On June 20 of this year I quit. I called the doctor last Tuesday after seeing a coworker studying on the drug and telling me about it. It's crazy how quick I turned Jekyl and Hyde. I didn't even make an appointment. I went straight to the doctor telling myself, "Leave, Brandon. This is bad! This is real bad!" Unfortunately, I got the scrpt I immediately regretted it, and low and behold--I was late to work and intermittently absent the rest of the week. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted September 1, 2014 Report Share Posted September 1, 2014 THIS GOT ME! I didn't mention that I my story when introducing myself. On June 20 of this year I quit. I called the doctor last Tuesday after seeing a coworker studying on the drug and telling me about it. It's crazy how quick I turned Jekyl and Hyde. I didn't even make an appointment. I went straight to the doctor telling myself, "Leave, Brandon. This is bad! This is real bad!" Unfortunately, I got the scrpt I immediately regretted it, and low and behold--I was late to work and intermittently absent the rest of the week. Yep, same thing happened to me in the past. I never took more than the dose I was prescribed, but I realized I had a real problem when I tried multiple times to quit and ended up frantically calling the doctor for appointments. Day 24. In a strange twist, I'm having trouble sleeping. Went from sleeping a minimum of 8-10 hours a night and constantly feeling sleepy to having trouble falling asleep and waking up at least once every night. I know I need to start exercising again because I always sleep better when I'm consistently exercising. It's hard to take that first step back into the gym when I know I'm going to be so frustrated by my current lack of fitness! Damn you, Adderall, for making me afraid of something that used to bring me joy and peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted September 3, 2014 Report Share Posted September 3, 2014 Day 25. Starting to worry about my slight weight gain. ~5 lbs up from my pre-quit weight, but +20 from my all time low on Adderall. It startles me to even type that out. Repeat to self: Adderall is not the answer..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDTRFB Posted September 3, 2014 Report Share Posted September 3, 2014 Day 20 - check! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mila490 Posted September 3, 2014 Report Share Posted September 3, 2014 Day 26, check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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