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Coming across an old stash


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I was just wondering if anyone has ever come across any adderall they had stashed away and forgot about. Well I was waiting for that to happen to me because I was always "hiding" a few pills here and there so no one would take them. Not sure who I thought would but anyway. Well this morning I came across for the first stash. I have not had the desire to look for them and would not have found them unless they were in my bed or on my couch since that is basically where I have spent the majority of my time of the past 8 months. But this morning I was looking for something in my one of my make up drawers and opened a random makeup container it no longer had make up inside but several round orange pills. Five to be exact. I felt a huge lump in my throat. I have had to pick up my son's adderall and send to him at college. (Which as a side note after watching me most of his life on speed and being a pre-med major and is someone that truly benefits from adderall- like he didn't take one the entire 5 weeks he was home on winter break- NEVER takes it to go out and party and I really only have to send him is script ever other month because he only takes for class and doesn't even want other students to know he takes so he won't be put in the the position of them asking for it etc... NOT SURE WHY I FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THAT BUT ANYWAY...)

Gosh I really lost my train of thought -dang ADHD. ok soooo here I am ALONE with 5 adderall that NO ONE knows I have. Hmmmm

This is the test - because of course I have tons of stuff I KNOW I could knock out. But I also know I would wake up "Mr. Hyde" so before I give myself to much time to think about it. I call my husband and tell him. So that when he comes home I can give them to him. I KNOW once I start to be able to do more around my house this will happen again. Like I said I was always stashing them in the strangest places. Of course I would forget immediately. I can't remember how many times I would hide my entire bottle and then get so upset thinking someone took it. Later to come across it and remember placing it there. I don't miss those FREAK OUTS!!!!

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I haven't come across an adderall to this day (probably because I took every single one I had), but I'm proud of you for not taking them. I really am still uncomfortable when I'm ever around it (which has been rare, thankfully). I say take the next step and ask your husband to dispose of the pills! Way to stay strong!!!

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Robin:

I am glad u posted that I was always told that sharing things like that and even using dreams are important. I wish there was an Adderall/stimulants anonymous . I always felt like I didn't fit into the AA/NA groups. I was told I would click better with the Cocaine Anonymous group or Prescription Pill anonymous but they are really hard to find and pretty far. I relate to everyone post and really get it. I am also ADHD and because I am an addict I can not take stimulants. I have to just learn to cope and embrace my silly forgetfull self!!

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I totally relate 100% to Lucky. I don't feel i fit in at AA/NA. I did like the cookies though. I feel like we kind of fall between the cracks. Even stuff like the timing of meetings etc is so off{at least for me they are}. Having anxiety issues doesn't help the cause. It is very good that there is support like this group. We have our up days/weeks and our shit ones too. For Robin-keeping an open line of communication with your husband is great and will probably be your rock to stay clean. 

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Oyvey I don't know if u like to read but I have been on a lot if sight for quitting meth and they always include amphetamine (stimulants) in the sights. I got a lot if helpful ideas and diet programs, supplements and techniques to use during your time of recovery. One of the main things I have read over and over is that we need to eat 6-8 oz of protein a day. Also protein shakes are very helpful because it helps our dopamine levels repair it's self. If u want to know more I will give you the websites. I am going to trader joes this week and get all the food and supplements. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I actually came across some about a year ago and I just freaked out and threw it out like a dead rodent. I've been pretty stressed out recently. recently I've been fantasizing about being on it a lot, but I know would never ever take it again. I could never.

You are not alone. Keep it up, staying clean.!

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