I Don't Know If I Can Quit?

[Ruben94]

Hello. I am a 20 year old male and I don't know what to do in regards to quiting Adderall.

 

So I don't know if I can quit the Adderall because I have tried to get off of it a number of times. But whenever I'm off of it, I don't feel in control of my anxiety. I also feel like without it, I am worthless. 

 

I started taking it because I was going through so much stress back in high school. I was barely passing my classes, I was rejected by the girl of my dreams, and I was developing social anxiety so bad that I couldn't sit in the same room as my classmates or even go to a building that had people in it. All of this made me begin to feel insecure about my ability to function and my worth as a person. Now I have almost no confidence in my ability to succeed at anything. 

 

I feel very insecure around people and rarely go out with friends, so my social support network is very limited. 

 

I really want to go back to how I was before I took Adderall. But I feel like who I am without the Adderall isn't good enough to obtain friends, a love interest, succeed in school or my future career. Has anyone else been in my shoes?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.

[Luckyducky]

Hello Rueban94

Your breaking my heart. I am still struggling but I refuse to give up trying. Even though I feel like I am the only one who screws up constantly and feel like giving up I refuse to let adderall steal my soul. I have kids your age and my one son had his heart broken to the point of a deep depression and drug use. Luckily we caught it early and he got the therapy he needs. I really recommend finding a therapist now because coming of this can bring anxiety and depression . I am finally going to see a therapist myself. Remember the adderall makes our problems better for a few hours but the crash makes your thoughts and problems 10x bigger than they are. I once had a god chunk of clean time and remember thinking I can't believe I let that person consume me. Keep coming on here don't give up trying!!!!

[Ruben94]

Thank you LuckyDucky for your kind words,

 

I really do want to give up Adderall, but throughout my years at high school, I felt horrible. I felt so down. No one would listen to me. Everyone would make fun of me and neglect me. I felt so alone and helpless. I feel like an absolute failure. The Adderall allowed me to escape my problems. It allowed me to feel like I was worth something. It let me feel like I wasn't a total loser for once. 

 

I really want to be off of it. I really do. But I don't think I'm strong enough to do it. 

 

I have a therapist, but I have trouble sharing my problems with other people even my own family. 

[JustinW]

If you decide to give it another go, we are here for you man! Welcome to our community.

[Jon]

Ruben,

 

Alone you may not have the strength to quit, but in a community where we are all doing the same thing; facing the same challenges, the same fears, having the same doubts, you have the collective power of many people just like you!

 

And don't forget that Adderall lies to you and steals your soul. It gives you false confidence, only to take it back from you. The dues you will owe for the short term benefits are paid on the back end when you quit. The sooner you can get away from it the better off you will be and the less dues you will owe.

 

Invest some time in reading the articles that Mike has written. There is a wealth of information here and a wealth of support if you decide you want to give a shot to finding out who you really are away from Adderall.

[SweetCarolinee]

Hi Ruben! How are you? Welcome to the site, so glad you came!

I think it takes someone very strong to share with us what you shared so thank you. And I'm happy your trying to quit, that's great. From your 2 posts I read, I think you are way too harsh on yourself, you sound like your own worst critic/worst enemy. You are totally worth while and aren't a loser so stop calling yourself that and being so hard on yourself. It seems to me, you have a bit of a self-esteem problem. And I also think you should stop worrying about what others think of you, just be yourself. I could be wrong, but it sounds like your putting your own happiness into other peoples hands a lot of the time. But you need to realize you don't need that dream girl or anyone else to be happy. You need to love yourself first and treat yourself right and with respect and the rest will follow. To a certain degree, happiness is a choice so try to start each day with a positive outlook and open mind. Try to enjoy the moment and be thankful everyday for what you have. I promise. They say "the mind makes the body" so try to convince yourself, your only option is to quit Adderall. That may be too extreme but that is what I've been doing!

I was scared things were going to be different for me when I quit (I've been clean for 38 days I believe) -- maybe my boyfriend wasn't going to like me anymore, maybe I was going to get fat, etc. but so far everything has been going pretty good. It's been hard and painful but so worth it. And I've made a lot of new, great friends on this site. This fight is so worth it and so are you… you just need to believe in yourself!

[tinybuddha]

This site and the members that come almost daily and contribute with the type of above responses are literally a god-send. This relapse would have already turned back into the downward spiral that was my life. THANK YOU!!

[Greg]

You can do it Ruben. It's hard, and can seem impossible at first but look around and see how many people here have been able to do it. You can as well.