777 Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 It was suggested that i was an ADHD kid when I was in elementary school. Luckily, due to poor finances and my dad simply not believing in medicating children i never got put on the stuff as a child. It wasn't until my 3rd year of community college, a short 2 years ago, that a friend gave me a couple of her 20 mg xr to help me with my anatomy and phisiology final. I got 100% on the final. I thought it must be this miracle drug that helped me stay up all night and stuff. So that's how it started. Just intermittent buying off of friends whenever i had a big test coming up. Then I got accepted into the nursing program and my confidence dropped. How was I going to make it through nursing school without this magic drug? I saw a psychiatrist back when I still had insurance and told her my story about being suspected ADHD and got a prescription. But it wasn't enough...the crashes, the unbelievably bad adderal crashes, the crashes that would suck your soul right out of your body for at least 48 hours were unbearable. As soon as I started feeling the dreaded crash coming on I popped another pill. I was in the process of switching doctors, as my insurance was coming to an end and told my new cheaper doc that i had been prescribed adderal and got another script for 10 mg iR. What I didn't tell them was that I was still eligable to fill one or two more of my previous scripts, which I did. INSPECT soon notified my currect doctor and he confronted me about it. This was back in November. I told him i wanted off adderal altogether and so he didn't pursue it. I am worried that when i go to apply for my boards this will show up on the background check and it will permanently ruin my chance of working in the healthcare field. This awful drug, this life-sucking, liar of a drug may very well have ruined my life and I am in constant anxiety about it. I have quit for good now thanks to this site. I am just frantically worried that i have really really fucked up. Nothing took over my mind quite like adderall. Ive quit smoking cigarettes before and it's a similar process. Exercise and diet are the real remedies to all of my maladies. I just really need some encouragement. No drug is worth losing everything for. I wish I had never ever taken that very first pill. I probably would have gotten 100% anyway because it was ME who had been studying that entire time. Nothing depletes your enjoyment of life, your confidence, and your soul quite like amphetamines. I couldn't look in the mirror I hated myself and every time I would pop another pill prolonging the inevitable I hated myself even more. Yes this is all coming out. Sometimes i would take up to 120 mgs a day only to wake up with an adderal hangover and start the viscious cycle again. This drug should be illegal. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Welcome to the forums, 777. Is there a way for you to find out if this would show up in your background check? I don't know the rules of this kind of thing, but it sounds like since nothing was pursued, you might be okay. My advice would be to find out what you can about it because the not knowing and worrying can be the worst part. If there's any good that came out of this, it is that your view of adderall is what it is. It certainly is a soul-sucking, evil drug for those of us who become addicted and who knows how long your addiction would've continued. I sincerely hope that this doesn't affect your nursing career....do some research and let us know what you find. I hope you'll stop beating yourself up for what happened. I could've gotten arrested numerous times because I bought illegally often, but I know it was the adderall addict me....not the real me, so try to cut yourself some slack. Congratulations on your divorce from adderall, even if not under ideal circumstances. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Ask the career services people or admissions at your school. The school should know or be able to find out for you. Some states are more lenient than others when it comes to prior records (like dui) so worst comes to worst you work in one of those states. Source: i used to work at a nursing college 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 I don't know about the nursing field, but I would think that it would not show up on a background check because no legal action was taken. If it shows up without legal action then it could be written off as a false positive, but I know nothing about INSPECT at all. Just some random musings off the top of my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Cassie that is a good idea. I guess I'm ashamed to directly ask them about it. I haven't heard anything about it since then. And yeah, it was totally the adderall addict inside of me acting, and it's just so embarrassing to look back on the things I did to get this terrible drug. Ive never really hated a drug as much as I hate adderall. I wonder if I can someone write anonymously to the nursing office. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted March 14, 2014 Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Cassie that is a good idea. I guess I'm ashamed to directly ask them about it. I haven't heard anything about it since then. And yeah, it was totally the adderall addict inside of me acting, and it's just so embarrassing to look back on the things I did to get this terrible drug. Ive never really hated a drug as much as I hate adderall. I wonder if I can someone write anonymously to the nursing office. Don't worry at all about asking them. They aren't the cops nor is it their job to report that kind of info. FERPA protects your personal info anyway. I've worked at schools and heard all kinds of crazy things from students - felonies, mental illness, drug problems, etc. Trust me, they won't judge you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 Cassie you have made me feel so much better. I went ahead and emailed the career service lady at the nursing office (who I really trust) and asked her about it. I don't think its the same as having like a criminal drug record or anything like that. It's probably not that big of a deal. INSPECT is one of those programs that helps control prescriptions and once I explained to my doc he understood and was fine. I also have a legit prescription for klonipin and I'm assuming if i were "black listed" that I wouldn't even be able to pick up something like that from the pharmacy right? I'm just full of anxiety and I'm worried to death. Seriously if anyone tells me they want to start taking adderall i will do everything to convince them not to. Finally today i realized, OMG, my personality is coming back. Lo and behold, I have a sense of humor! I have passions and flavor and fire. Not worth being a robot. You people seriously are the biggest inspiration for me <3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.