mtnfreedom Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 This is my first post and I am obviously here because I need some help and guidance from people who actually understand what I am going through. I am disgusted and disappointed in myself for letting adderall take over my life. This path of self destruction must come to an end. Tonight has been scary for me to say the very least. My body has finally had enough of this evil drug and let me know in an alarming way. I experienced blurred vision, a resting heart rate at 95 bpm, paranoia, severe difficulty breathing, and the inability to control my eyes and body from twitching all at the same time. I did not seek medical attention because I can't let my family know that I have an addiction problem. I've been laying in bed all night just trying to relax. My biggest complaint now is my insomnia which is absolutely miserable. I am a frequent user prescribed 20XR and 10IR for daily use. I get a month supply each refill and will usually finish both bottles in two weeks. I don't keep track of how many daily I take but I will have about 600mg of caffeine in energy drinks to supplement my high. I have been using adderall for about two years now and I miss the old me. This current me is miserable and useless when I'm not taking them. Sleeping until 3pm and not doing a thing all day trying to recover from a no sleep for 72 hours binge. Please help me succeed in my goal of eliminating this burden from my life! I'll trust your guidance and will greatly appreciate any support along the way of my journey to freedom. Thank you for taking the time to read this. -Al 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 Al welcome to the boards and a new life!!! You are so right. That life is not worth it!!! You will find so much support on here and many others on here who have been through the same hellacious cycle you are describing, and who finally found their way out of it for good. There is hope, and a better life on the other side!! Congratulations on making the choice to quit for good-- and for quitting before you spend too many years in adderall hell. The sooner you get out, the easier it will be for you to recover. Do you have a plan to quit? Are you going to tell your dr not to prescribe you any more? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 I totally agree with Occasional. Sounds like you are deep into your own Adderall Hell. If you cannot quit on your own, have you considered rehab? When I quit, I used the self-imposed "threat" of in-patient rehab if my quit didn't stick. If you want to keep your addiction a secret then you better plan your Quit and follow through with it, including dissing your doctor and stashed pills. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 There's not much more to add to OC1 and Quit-1nc's posts. Heed their wise advice and welcome to the forums! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted July 14, 2014 Report Share Posted July 14, 2014 Good news al is u found the right place. And you're in good company. None of us are unfamiliar with your story. The cycle you are in is unsustainable. Staying up for days and sleeping for days. It has to end and even, say , if u could sustain it forever (which is impossible), you would also be miserable forever. And many of us have lost jobs and frustrated and devastated those close to us the longer we prolonged it. It can be done though and you can overcome it if you have a plan, and are committed to it and follow all the advice from he people here who have been through this hell and come out. Welcome to the forums. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted July 15, 2014 Report Share Posted July 15, 2014 The path without Adderall is beautiful if you will allow yourself the time, commitment, and patience that is needed to endure the road ahead. It is not always easy, but if you put it in perspective it is totally worth it in the long run. I have been sober now for 3.3 years. Clean from Adderall 3 years 8 months. The longer I'm sober the clearer my reality becomes of what I did in my past and how my addictions affected the people around me. It scares me now to think about ever getting lost into the sea of addiction again because I remember how hard and painful of a struggle it is to break free from and I just want you to know I want to offer my support in helping you break free. We all lean on each other here. I have been away for awhile, but I'm back now and very glad to be here. You CAN do this. We will help you. Welcome to the site! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted July 15, 2014 Report Share Posted July 15, 2014 WOOT Welcome back Liltex!!! Now back to our originally scheduled programming. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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