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Dose decreases and withdrawals - help!


msb1128

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Hi! I'm new here. I can fill everyone in later with my long pathetic story about how I got here and what Adderall has done to me, but long story short, it recently hit me more clearly than ever that I have to be rid of this stuff for a number of reasons. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do this.

 

I don't think cold turkey is an option for me because I have to be able to function at work, etc. On the other hand I don't think a long slow taper is best either, because I know myself, and there will be too many opportunities over a long period of time to make exceptions for "special situations" and use an extra dose here and there and then totally relapse. 

 

So I was on 20mg a day (and occasionally a little more) in divided doses. I went down to 15 mg for one week and was really ok, but now I dropped again to 10mg. I was thinking I would do 15 for a week, 10 for a week, 5 for a week, and then be done. I knew it would likely not be easy at all. Surprisingly last week at 15 was not bad, but I am now on my third day at 10 and UGH!!! Yesterday and today I'm a total zombie - so tired, brain fog, no motivation, depressed and anxious, generally feel sick. I'm not always making sense when I talk and can't get much done. I am forgetful and am mostly just moping around trying to keep track of what I should be doing. 

 

Does anyone have any thoughts on whether this taper is appropriate? Should I go more slowly? I can't go faster or I won't be able to function at all. I will have some time off over the holidays since I work at a college, so maybe I could crash then???

 

In any case I do want this over as quickly as possible, but I do have people who can hold me accountable and even keep my pills for me if I opt to go a little slower so I won't be able to take more if I'm tempted to. I guess I'm wondering if this is just way too fast, if I should have held at 15mg for another week or so. 

 

Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! :)

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I ended up going back up to 15mg yesterday. I had a couple fleeting thoughts about taking more and going back to my original dose since I was so miserable and had maybe rushed the process, but I stood firm. I may hang out here for a bit longer before I drop again. 
I would just like to know if anyone has had any success with anything like a 100%-75%-50%-25%-0 taper. If so, how fast did you go and what was it like?

I really don't want to do the 10% thing and take forever with this. I do see that many here are saying it might be better just to bite the bullet, go cold turkey and not draw this out. I think I'm ok, not optimal, but I can at least function at 75% (15mg). Just not sure where to go from here and when. I have let a few people know I'm doing this though and that I might need their help, so there are they for accountability. At least that's good.

This is really scary stuff, though, the more I read on here. I am so excited though reading all the success stories. You guys have fought hard. It's no small feat what many of you have accomplished. You have my deepest respect! :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

I was working full time. Two kids and a husband who needed a fulltime mom/wife, too.  I was junk for a while, and the house was a genuine wreck.  But, the kids liked me more.   My husband liked me more and wasn't afraid of me for the first time in several years.  I had been taking 30 mg instant release twice daily for almost 6 years. I never took more than my prescribed dose, but I was an addict all the same.  I was a mess.  I just know that I have tried tapering before and this is the only quit that has stuck.  I can't taper.  I just can't.  I am not saying it can't be done, but it is so torturous, with no end in sight, that I would always cave and go back to the pills.   

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3 months?  I can't remember exactly.  Can you believe that?!?!?  See...it does get better.  I know that at the 10 month mark I was starting to get some motivation back.  But, after the 3rd month, the weight gain was dragging me down psychologically.  I couldn't look at myself and the 40 pounds I gained in the 4 months after I quit.  But, I have taken off 20 of them and I am happily working on the rest.  I feel great.  I sleep great.  I am happier, nicer, and just better.  So...at this point I can't remember how long exactly I felt like a nasty slug.  Isn't that encouraging?!?!

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I just hit the 30 day mark a few days ago. Took the cold turkey route. I'll be honest, its not been easy... At all, but it's doable. If you really want to do it, I highly recommend telling your Dr your plans so that getting your rx refilled is not an option. I assure you there'll be days where heading to the pharmacy is all you'll think about. If its not an option, you'll naturally spend much less time thinking about it. The first two weeks sucked ass for me... body aches, tired as hell, pretty shitty anxiety and depression. Weeks three and four had their ups and downs but seemed to be a lil easier. As of now I'm still battling depression (not necessarily all due to adderall) and the fautige is an ass kicker. I've found that pushing myself to get things done helps with my depression and fautige, even though getting out of bed seems to be a monumental task some days. Just remember that you can absolutely do this and the reward is absoluetly worth it! Good luck!

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I just hit the 30 day mark a few days ago. Took the cold turkey route. I'll be honest, its not been easy... At all, but it's doable. If you really want to do it, I highly recommend telling your Dr your plans so that getting your rx refilled is not an option. I assure you there'll be days where heading to the pharmacy is all you'll think about. If its not an option, you'll naturally spend much less time thinking about it. The first two weeks sucked ass for me... body aches, tired as hell, pretty shitty anxiety and depression. Weeks three and four had their ups and downs but seemed to be a lil easier. As of now I'm still battling depression (not necessarily all due to adderall) and the fautige is an ass kicker. I've found that pushing myself to get things done helps with my depression and fautige, even though getting out of bed seems to be a monumental task some days. Just remember that you can absolutely do this and the reward is absoluetly worth it! Good luck!

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  • 1 month later...

Thanks for all the replies!!! I don't know how I missed these. Actually, I do. Life got pretty crazy. We are on a really bad streak with veterinary emergencies lately. One dog and three and cats, and they are all getting older. A few of them have been sick with various conditions, some very critical, some more chronic, but they all have demanded a tremendous amount of extra attention. SO...it was the perfect reason to go back up from 15mg to my original dose of 20mg (and then some at times). Of course.

 

When things calmed down a bit a few weeks ago I spent another week back down at 15, but somehow I'm back up at 20-30 again. I think it's becoming pretty clear I won't be one of the people who can taper. It takes too long, and there will be way too many opportunities to relapse. I also am trying to figure out the right time to quit, and this time cold turkey. It probably really wasn't a good time to make any changes the last few months with so much going on causing so much stress and anxiety, way more than normal due to life circumstances. On the other hand, I do know there is never a "right" time exactly. 
I'm going to start a new post specifically asking for advice on planning how and when. 

Thanks again for all the support so far! :)

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