mdsjhawk Posted January 7, 2016 Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I've been an Adderall user for at least 5-6 years. Nothing too heavy...20mg once daily, but still regularly. For the past couple of years, I've been really wanting to stop, mainly because I'm afraid to be dependent on it for the rest of my life. I'm fairly ADHD...I get distracted easily and have impulse problems, and I am pretty crazy about my weight. About 5 years ago, I was taking Adderall, hardly eating, and working out over 2 hours per day, both weights and cardio. Some pictures of me are downright scary, but I loved it because I had been very overweight in my early to mid twenties. When I run out for a few days, I notice I start packing on the pounds, as I don't really watch what I eat and just rely on the medicine to keep my appetite low. So in that sense, I am/was hooked. (I am 32, 125 lbs right now, at my smallest I was just over 100 and at my largest, nearly 200) In the past 6 months-1 year, I've really started to notice how sluggish I had become, and that I have NO emotion. I'm apathetic, rude, nasty, and always stressed out, even though I sleep until 11 or 12. Even when having 10-12 hours of sleep, I feel like crap, usually with a headache, and never motivated to do anything. Which is IRONIC, since Adderall is supposed to keep me focused and going. My husband and I also have been trying to conceive for a year now with no luck, and I'm afraid the Adderall and my general health and attitude has kept me from finally getting pregnant. Right before Christmas, I ran out of my prescription. I was super busy over the holidays so I never got around to filling it, then with the pharmacy being closed, it just never happened. Again, after a few days, I noticed I started putting on pounds...very stressful for someone obsessed with weight and how I look. As a side note, I've literally never lost weight without some sort of medicine helping me. First it was a weight loss prescription drug, then Addy. HOWEVER, I also noticed I started feeling more awake during the day. That alertness translated in me finally going to the gym on a regular basis (I say regular, although admittedly its only been a couple weeks) and I actually have had the energy to get up earlier, I'm not as sluggish, and am motivated to do my work during the day. I also feel like I've been more emotional, but in a good way. I have been laughing harder, crying when its appropriate, caring more about my husband, my family, and myself, and getting excited. I'm not sure whether this change in me is because I'm off the Adderall, (scientifically), because deep down I feel the relief of not taking it (emotionally) or maybe some of both. I don't understand how a drug that I used to take and that used to really motivate me could change for the worse. I wonder if my body just got really used to it? I'm really hoping I can keep this up, because I really do feel great. I don't feel as "skinny" but I've also been going to the gym almost daily and trying to watch what I eat (and not eat after 9pm). It's WEIRD, and I love it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted January 8, 2016 Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 its not weird. that's how happiness REALLY feels it's hard to remember after being on a medication that produces artificial happiness for years. just remember how you feel now, and that the adderall happy wasn't ever real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAwesome Posted January 11, 2016 Report Share Posted January 11, 2016 Hang on to this feeling when you start to feel low and the Adderall pulls at you to come back. You can do this! Welcome to the site, and keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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