Starting The Long Process of Quitting After 2 Years

[olearyrr1]

Hey guys, I just came across this website tonight and ironically enough I didn't know where it would lead but here I am. When I first started reading through the articles on the site I never knew that after an hour I would be facing my addiction head on. Reading everyone's stories has given me this sense of encouragement that I to can do it. This is my story.

 

I'm currently 18 years old and live in Bozeman, Montana. My first experience with adderall was when I was 16 years old. I had minor focus issues in class and had a buddy who took medicine for his ADHD, I had no honest idea if I had ADHD or not but I knew that this wonder drug would help me focus in class and bust though my school work. I gained courage and asked my parents if we could talk to a doctor about getting me these same meds. The next day we went into the doctors office, took their standardized test and was prescribed my own prescription of adderall (IR). If I only could have shown my 16 year old self what I would have to deal with in the future I wouldn't be sitting here writing this article. So as time went on and I started taking the new medication I immediately felt the difference in school and in my own personal life. As soon as I would take these pills I felt great and I wasn't afraid of anything. As time went on I chased that feeling I first felt, upping my dose higher and higher until I was taking 90mgs/day. It sounds weird I know, but believe me when I say I wasn't some teenager trying to get high, I was uneducated and wanted to just replicate that first level of focus and inner self feeling I felt the very first time I took adderall. At the beginning it was fine, everything was perfect, it wasn't until a year passed when I really looked at myself and said "shit". I had slowly let this little pink pill take control over me. I went from taking the medication only during the week to convincing my mother and Dr.  to allow me to continue the dose through the weekend because I just couldn't deal with the feelings of not having it. Slowly I had became dependent on this drug but I didn't care because it didn't seem to be a big deal at the time. In the first year I dropped over 30 pounds from the lack of food I consumed. By the time I was 17 and a half Adderall no longer gave me the results I wanted anymore. As the days stretched on into weeks my relationships with both family and friends began to deteriorate until they didnt even exist. These people didn't even know who I was because of the zombie like character that took place of my personality. The worst part about it was side effects that came with such a high dosage of adderall, I became depressed and no longer had any passion anymore. Add to that multiple nights a week of zero hours of sleep and I was literally unrecognizable. The saddest thing about all of this is when I hear younger kids talk about this wonder study drug that will help them ace any final exam,  I look at my face in the mirror and just wish I would have been able to see the face looking back at me before I decided to take it. So this is what I'm at today, a living zombie that never thought that life could be normal again without adderall. But these stories and articles I read on this website has given me the strength to stop taking these dumb pills and gain my life back. Tomorrow is the first day, i'm ready. 

[AlwaysAwesome]

Welcome to the forum!  You are so young, it is great that you recognize the problem now.  We are all here to support each other.  It is difficult, but it is possible.  When you decide to quit, you have to cut off all supply.  Tell everyone you are quitting and why.  It helps to have external accountability.  Also, it helps to let people know why you are a chunky slug all of the sudden.  LOL 
Quit now so that you aren't a 30 year old trying to quit Adderall.  You can't live like this forever. 

 

Good luck!

[fkadderall]

I'm 18 years old too , ur not alone. I Started experimenting with light doses at the age of 16. By the time I turned 17, I started taking 60-80 a day. All of us on this site have experienced that adderall zombie state. I went through awful withdrawals too.

[bluemoon]

You came to the right place. I'm so happy you recognize that it's time to quit now, before more years of your life get stolen from you by Adderall. AlwaysAwesome is so right.... you don't want to be a 30 year old trying to quit Adderall. Do it now while you're young and your body will bounce back in no time . The most important thing is getting your parents and your doctor on board with your quit. It might not be easy for you, but I promise they will be so glad you talked to them about it. I bet your parents will be very supportive in helping you quit. 

 

How are you feeling so far? Pretty sleepy I bet. Just keep going, and you'll start feeling better before you know it. 

 

You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to.