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Everything posted by fkadderall

  1. I used to be addicted to the substance l. I quit around June 2015, relapsed for like less than a month but I didn't really abuse it even when I relapsed in November 2016. I didn't pop 6 pills at once when I relapsed but I drank coffe, while on it , which is something that no one should ever do.i took two 10 mg's when I relapsed. Even after quitting for a whole year, your tolerance doesn't drop. Your problem is that you think you can take the drug without abusing it, but it's just not possible. Realistically speaking, 95% of the people on this forum can't NOT abuse it. It does a lot of damage to your mind body and soul and if anyone is serious about quitting, they should go to rehab. I was wrong when i thought that I needed adderall for college. I haven't been on it for almost s year now and I just forgive myself. Yes, the damage is done and it screws up your brain chemicals, but that doesn't mean that you should continue your habit and keep causing brain damage to your mind because you think it's irreversible. Your emotional emptiness isn't the problem. I don't want to blame people because iv personally experienced your pain with addiction but adderall won't fix anything. It keeps killing you. Even by being on this site, if all you do is stay up all night and add a story, you may think that minizes your problem but it doesn't. People go in and out of rehab. We all have our weaknesses. Choose life, don't chose a pill over your life. Your life is so much more important than this pill. Life> drugs any days . I don't wanna sound like I don't have problems. I do have emotional problems but once you stop the drugs, you will realize that the high is worthless.
  2. i might go back on this shit

    hey guys, iv been without the pill for 1 year and 2 months. i have awful ADD and i can't find a solution. I have serious attention problems and i have told my doctor that i abused the drug in the past. anyway, i told my doctor to tell my mom to make sure that i always take the recommended dose. I know you guys might think this is the worst decision that i will make but i seriously need medication. I hate adderall too. i just need productivity, i'm in college and i'm not motivated to do shit. i won't abuse it. i have quit drinking, smoking, and benzos. i don't want to abuse any other substances. i'm planning to take a 20 mg ir.
  3. i might go back on this shit

    And no, I was motivated before I ever took adderall. This drug is just some fix for our attention problems. It doesn't make you happy nor does it enhance emotions. Wanna be happy? Don't take prozac or zoloft or some pharmacy shit. Don't 3v3n drink and don't get stoned
  4. i might go back on this shit

    We are not the same person. I'm still sober.. Do whatever the hell makes you happy. Don't purposely abuse this drug BC if u can't handle it like most users then it's not the drug's problem, it's your problem.
  5. i might go back on this shit

    yeah i agree about everything mentioned above above. If a teacher had not called my parents in 2008, they would have never gone to see doctor. i didn't need the drug in 6th grade. ADHD was normal, i used to be very sharp. the drug ruined my brain's ability to think so now even though i'm a year and 2 months sober, my brain feels dull and my emotions are dulled too. i have attention span problem from abusing adderall, i also have panic attacks and have shitty social anxiety which didn't occur prior to abusing the drug. i know what this drug does. i don't know if the drug caused neurological problems but i can't focus at all... i am just so unproductive. and i know what the come downs are like. it does not require a large dose to feel crappy from comedowns. either way, i hate adderall/ the fact that this shit is even legal. i don't know what to do.
  6. I have been there sis or bro. My depression actually never appeared until I became addicted to it. I went on a binge of 60-80 mg a day for a few months/ maybe a year. It's very difficult to quit but you will do it. The high isn't worth the low. I quit a year ago and I still have hard time being motivated. Although the depression is still there, the depression from amphetamine comedown is pure hell. So what you should do is throw away ur new script, sleep eat exercise. Remember, Eric Clapton was a huge coke addict. Well now he is not. You can do it
  7. I have been there sis or bro. My depression actually never appeared until I became addicted to it. I went on a binge of 60-80 mg a day for a few months/ maybe a year. It's very difficult to quit but you will do it. The high isn't worth the low. I quit a year ago and I still have hard time being motivated. Although the depression is still there, the depression from amphetamine comedown is pure hell. So what you should do is throw away ur new script, sleep eat exercise. Remember, Eric Clayton was a huge coke addict. Well now he is not. You can do it
  8. Almost a year sober 😀

    When I first got on this site, I was pretty miserable, but I knew change was coming. I was just 18ish. How could I have done something this stupid to my brain? First few month without the drug was hell. I felt depressed, my mind was super foggy, I just felt like dying. I'm pretty blessed. If I had been given a job while in my peak of addiction, 80% of my allowance would have gone to pills. Fortunately, I got my first job after deciding to quit adders. I even quit pot BC of wanting to recover faster. There were times where I had 0 motivation to do anything that i was desperate to pop another pill so that I could write better. The idea that I'm a better writer while on pills is true. Yes, you can be more producproductive while on it, but it doesn't make you a better person at all. Now, almost a year sober, my mind feels better. I hope that everyone who struggles finds peace and hope.
  9. Almost a year sober 😀

    Already one year sober. I just feel guilty for all those years I spent on this crazy mania kind of drug. I shouldn't have ever been an adderall addict at the age of 17 and 18. The high was great but so artificial. I think every addict on this cite is obsessed with the mania. First 10 months, I felt super lethargic. Almost disconnected with consciousness. Id be a better artist while drunk BC it releases dopamine/ pleasure chemicals. I know for a fact that adderall fucks upyour dopamine. Emotionally, I still feel numb. I don't wanna discourage any recovering addict, but this is hard. I don't get high on any drugs anymore due to this anhedonic feeling. Id hate to get an anti depressant prescription. Does anyone on this site fully recover emotionally?
  10. Terrified

    Bye pills bye drugs.
  11. I hope this gets better soon...

    If u take like 30 mg or less, I'm sure u will have minor withdrawal symptoms. If u took like 60-80 mg a day, ur mind goes mad and u will feel like absolute shit. This drug is pretty dangerous. It helps a few, but it creates more harms than benefits. Now I constantly have mood and motivationago even after having quit 10 months ago.
  12. 8 weeks sober and threw it away- ashamed

    It was honestly difficult to quit adderall. I'm about 10 months without the drug. Do I miss being alert and the productivity,yes. Do I miss the withdrawal,hell naw. I went thru relapses before I decided to fully quit. Don't go back to ur doctors. Remember, a year feels like a second. Quit for good. Don't even count your days. Of being clean at first. Just detox. After a month the urge to use is still there. After 2 months, you feel like you can go back on the drug BC u kinda forget about withdrawals and you're not used to being off the drug. It's summer, now is the time to be off adderall
  13. I feel nothing.. and it's a terrible feeling.

    I know what you mean. I still feel numb. IV become Kurt Cobain. Like did this drug seriously give me bipolar disorder BC I feel like I'm struggling so much. I didn't even have a problem prior to being put on pills. Docs love creating disorders so that they receive money from patients.
  14. Idk man. If it makes your life better and easier then go for it. Adderall has ruined my life so I will never be on that drug again but I know nothing about anti depressants. Do researches about the safety of the drug. Apparently, some drugs make youbfeel more suicidal.
  15. iv been without any caffeine for 6 days and i can sleep well. i have some weird ass anxiety. i bought like 2 xanax from a friend but i know it's not wise to abuse em so i take like a quarter of a bar (.50mg) . See what this adhd fuckin pill does to you? when ur a kid, ur normal but ur lame ass teacher tells your parents that you won't stop disturbing the class so you're given pills to control your behavior. NOw, i have crippling anxiety that makes me unable to do anything.
  16. 9 months without adderall

    This drug has made me feel emotionally and psychologically handicapped. Who knows about the neurotoxic side effects. It has made me empty.I'm trying to get a good grade on an essay and I know its very much possible with the help of adderall. I'm 9 months without pills in a few days. My brain still feels dazed and confused at times. My emotions are still crappy. I'm sure adderall helps but I honestly don't want to abuse it should I take it then break my progress. I don't find any positive effects from abuse so that's def not an option. I just want your opinion and if you think I should not take it then I def won't.
  17. 9 months without adderall

    i'm 9 months without adderall today.
  18. 8 months sober, FUCK YOU SHIRE!

    Iv never had a problem with xans. my drug of choice was weed then adderall. i don't have a zan script so i don't see a way to really abuse it. i use it like once every 5 months. my palms sweat like hell, it can be annoying. i didn't use the zans to get high. i used it for actual purposes also, motivation is actually non existent right now. sleep is my best friend. i feel like i'm not able to express my emotions . my emotions used to be like 100X heightened. now it's like mehhh. But iv seen alot of former heroin users and meth users who have regained their lives together. they become ambitious when they stop the drugs. they thrive for a PHD. meanwhile, i'm just giving up and iv remained sober this long.
  19. No more diet coke or adderall-vyvanse!!

    true, too much caffeine can definitely damage ur adrenal glands. I used to drink like a large cup of coffee then I'd pop vyvanse or adderall. This combo was awful. Get off tea or anything that stimulates ur CNS. I think chocolate contains caffeine too.
  20. Feeling hopeless at 4 months.

    First of all, congrats on quitting. That's more of an accomplishment than getting your work done. Your health should be your number one priority. everything that you wrote above makes sense. stimulants trigger anxiety so stay away from caffeine. ur doctors don't know crap about drug comedowns so they'll say what they want to say. I used to combine caffeine with adderall for a big boost. Your depression is from adderall comedown, it's not biological. you don't want to be dependant on any pills for the rest of your life. Go exercise.
  21. Dissapointed in myself, scared...

    Throw your pills away. It's obvious that none of us have self control. It's not our fault that we're addicted. our brains like the adderall high. You have the ability to tell your doctors to stop giving you more pills. This adderall drug is NOT SAFE. just because it's legal doesn't mean it's safe.This drug is killing us. The drug is not helping any of us. People think it's a miracle drug. The only miracle drug is exercise. We are here for you. Just remember that we believe you can stop. you can totally quit mate.
  22. 222 days :D

    yes, it's awesome. No more artificial psychoactive bs. Focusing on things is difficult but time will heal my brain.
  23. 222 days :D

    I've been Adderall free for 7 months and I'm not planning to be back on it. I think I finally know what's wrong with me. I have all the symptoms of Cushing Syndrome. My body has released a lot of cortisol hormone from all the stims (caffeine) iv been abusing. I'm going to see a doctor to see what he says. I'm pretty positive that i'm gonna fully recover. peace
  24. Feeling hopeless

    you're going through mental & physical withdrawal. there is nothing good about adderall.. it makes you productive for a day then you feel crappy for months when you're without it. ur body is so used to being fueled by the drug. amphetamine is a hard drug. i don't think i knew this until i was addicted . If there are meth users who can fully recover, adderall users have a better chance of recovering.. Pharmas need to seriously fuck off. who voted to legalize pills? loool fucking fda
  25. Anyone smoke weed?

    yes, well i used to. I didn't want to be known as "the stoner kid" or "the pothead" so i stopped. I think weed is pretty safe.Truth is, i should have only stuck with weed and avoided pills. weed is definitely a good tool to recover. Occasional alcohol use is fine too. just stick with things that don't really impair the brain.