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I feel nothing.. and it's a terrible feeling.


duffman

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Yeah, I lurked in the shadows for almost three years before becoming a member. I remember coming on here and reading the posts before I even started taking Adderall, when I was just doing research about it, contemplating whether it might be a good medication for me to try. I have no idea how the posts here didn't scare me away from starting Adderall. What was I thinking?? All this pain and struggle... so not worth it!!!! 

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Sometimes I just get the feeling like quitting was a mistake I do need this drug to be productive I'm going to keep making my life worse off it. But then again I look at how I abused this drug took way more then I should have obviously I can't control the use even if it was beneficial. I don't think I could go back to taking it not going over my prescribed dosage not want to then start taking pain killers and then not wanting Xanax to crash after a binge. I've cut out sugar my diet is pretty strict low carbs I'm working out getting plenty of sleep but I'm still tired. I keep going on these ups and down days like things are getting a little better then goes right back down. Maybe it's because I've forgot how bad things were a couple months ago and only judging day by day. If I could look back far enough I have been going up hill but being the person I'am I judge myself on a daily basis frustrated with what I have not accomplished and upset I keep pushing off so major things I'm to scared to deal with financially. One thing I'm happy about lately is I beleive sharing some of what I'm going through has altered my sisters point of view on this drug. Happy to say my nephew was recently taken off his adderall medication he is only 16 and I think young enough the full dependency will not alter his future.

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the path off all these drugs is not an easy one. The drug companies really have designed a special kinda hell.  Year one is hard but worth it.  The whole thing is a mind fuck just get through each day. One day at a time. You won't feel like crap forever. The productivity thing is such a myth, read an essay or something you wrote on adderall. Everything I did on adderall was rubbish that I thought was so brilliant.  

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Yes, Zerokewl. A "mind fuck" is the perfect way to describe it. Lately, some days I actually feel pretty darn good and I feel like I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Other days, I feel like I just quit yesterday and my body and mind are just dead. Today sucked. Let's hope tomorrow is better. :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know what you mean. I still feel numb. IV become Kurt Cobain. Like did this drug seriously give me bipolar disorder BC I feel like I'm struggling so much. I didn't even have a problem prior to being put on pills. Docs love creating disorders so that they receive money from patients.

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