Differences in addictions

[tideshark]

I been on this crap for to long now, I can feel it taking its toll on me, I'm getting ready to kick it. I've completely successfully quit cigarettes, haven't had one since 2007 and smoked for ten years before that, also, quit while on adderall. I keep that in my mind that I am a strong willed person and if I can kick that, know that feeling I want to be done with something and that's where I am with adderall, I feel like it's going to suck significantly more, but I'm ready.

I keep reading how the physical addiction only takes a few weeks for most people, but the mental addiction can take months to years... What am I to expect with the mental addiction? I feel like once I get past that feeling that my body is weak and tired and I'm done nodding off on accident, that I will be done with it... But from what I'm reading about the mental addiction is that I won't be.

Can anyone shed some light on this for me please? Appreciate it much:)

[Frank B]

If you quit smoking and never started again while on adderall you have a very powerful will power. I have not smoked for two years but I still puff on my vapor stick like a fog machine at a haunted house. Well what to expect varies I think it depends on how long you used and dosage. Did you ever abuse your prescription going on all night binges of getting tons of stuff done? One thing I did not expect was the crazy anxiety that hit me very hard around my 5th of 6th month I never really had it much on addy. Type more but gotta get off here.

[Zerokewl]

 I still puff on my vapor stick like a fog machine at a haunted house. 

ha 

[Zerokewl]

I keep reading how the physical addiction only takes a few weeks for most people, but the mental addiction can take months to years... What am I to expect with the mental addiction? I feel like once I get past that feeling that my body is weak and tired and I'm done nodding off on accident, that I will be done with it... But from what I'm reading about the mental addiction is that I won't be.

 

 

Depression and Anxiety levels are high in recovery. You learn to cope, but it takes time. 

[LILTEX41]

I agree with Frank. There is no set standard timeline that can be expected.  It just kinda varies for each individual.  For me, the first year was the worst and then of course each year got better.  It probably wasn't until the 2nd or 3rd year that I finally just forgot about it.  It's been so long now that I don't ever even crave it anymore, like EVER.  During my 6 month of drinking again though last year, i craved it but that was it.  That was only because I used to use it hand and hand with alcohol.  Once I stopped drinking again (8 months ago) I never had cravings for it.  

 

I would say prepare for the 1st year as sucking hard core and then after that it slowly keeps getting better and better as far as cravings are concerned.  

 

Hope this helps!  

[tideshark]

Yeah, I've pulled many all nighters, don't take much though, I was diagnosed an insomniac when I was a kid, i'de stay up for 2 -3 days in a row normally, wasn't til I was about 10 I started sleeping normalish... I don't know how I'll get anxiety out of nowhere months down the road. Anyone else have anymore mental addiction examples? I'de love to hear some more:)

[tideshark]

Yeah, I kinda use it during drinking too:/ I know that's going to be when I want it.

With the mental block though, is your body still easily tired/feel like you can't wake up? Like that feeling if you go a day or two without and you lay down for just a second and waking up later cuz you feel asleep put of nowhere? Or is it just the "wanting" it to do whatever better and your body feels fine? I feel like if I can get my body to feel normal, the mental addiction I can overcome soon after.

And I have been on 60mg/day for about 6 years now... Usually find a way to get a little more a few days out of each month.

[William]

What you describe as the "mental addiction" is probably not just "mental". My take on it is that using adderall alters the neural pathways if you will... And that if you change the firing order and pathways of the brain from what it was originally designed to do, it will PHYSICSLLY adapt to operate. That means many changes are going on, not just those related to FOCUS and Attention span. The liver and kidneys might effectively remove all of the drug from your body within a relatively short amount of time, but that has little to do with the amount of time your central nervous system needs to repair itself. An analogy might be something like abandoning a long established trail through the woods that you have used and properly maintained your whole life, in favor of a new "scenic route" thats kept up by someone else. Perhaps a grounds crew all strung out on addy!lol But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. And now you are no longer allowed to take the scenic route. So you return to the path you originally used, the one you had been using your whole life. But other then an old sign marking the trail head, there is absolutely no evidence of the trail. Time to get the work gloves out... But as so many have testified here, that trail can be re-established! Heavy lifting and brush cutting first, one day yielding to the clearing power of footsteps... Perhaps this post makes no sense, kinda reminds me of stuff I'd think up ON adderall.

[tideshark]

Awesome analogy, it's much appreciated. I can see focusing might take awhile to get back to, but once the physical addiction is over, am I going to still feed tired and sleepy all the time? That's what I'm mostly nervous about.

[William]

For me, very long time user @60mg/day, the tiredness and amotivational syndrom is not the most difficult part. In fact when that symptom is present I welcome it. Grind through whatever I absolutely must do, then crawl in bed and thank God for the healing sleep. In the absence of tiredness comes bone crushing anxiety, depression, feeling like there will never ever be relief... But then a day or two come where you get a glimpse of what life has in store at the end of the misery. I cherish those moments and also prepare myself for the next tough stretch. Simply put, there is no way to "out-think" the quitting process; it is unimaginably difficult, but people can and do beat the beast every day. This forum is an amazing testimony to that fact. I wish you the very best.

[bluemoon]

What to expect: Constant fatigue (I go to bed at 8-9pm every night, and nap all weekend), no motivation to do anything, anxiety like I have never had before in my life, depression, inability to enjoy anything at all, inability to be social, just an overall "empty" feeling. I had relapsed many times while trying to quit in the past, just trying to get rid of these awful feelings. The only thing that keeps me sober today is this site. If it weren't for this site and the wonderful people here, and if I had not cut off my supply completely, I would have relapsed by now for sure. 

 

I hope my super negative post doesn't scare you away from quitting. I'm just being honest about how my recovery has gone so far. I suppose it's still early though at 7 1/2 months. Looking forward to passing the 1 year mark. Everyone's path of recovery is different, and some people start feeling better much sooner.

 

You can do this and you seem like you're ready. Just be sure to come back here lots... This place has been my saving grace! 

[Frank B]

Yes u might be tired all the time some days I'm fine other a lazy ass. It depends what I'm doing if I'm out on a job I focus work hard fix the problem at hand make customers happy and my wallet. "I'm lucky to love what I do for a living" the part I don't like is the office work that's when I miss having adderall to make boring tasks interesting. Instead of focusing on those task I'll drift towards the TV set I'm at least a month behind my office crap but luckily I at least have money in the bank to pay bills thanks to a warm summer. ( Im a Hvac contractor.) Tideshark I wish you the best of luck and yes this sucks but u like everyone else who forced themselves to stop know living on addy is no option anymore. Plus the older I got the more I felt pushing my body no doubt I

would die young. I was on the same dosage as yourself for around 9 years.

[bluemoon]

I feel like I should add that it's not ALL bad 100% of the time. I don't want to discourage anyone from quitting. Quitting was the best decision I could have made. Even though I am not where I want to be yet, I am still a million times better off this way than being a slave to such an awful addiction. 

 

I still work 40-50 hours per week and I do just fine at work, it's when I get home that I absolutely crash and shut the world out and bask in my misery... LOL

[tideshark]

Thanks for those last few post Frank and Bluemoon, and yes, when I stumbled upon this website, I started to see that light at the end of the tunnel, this is awesome to have support there like this and to hear from so many that you can get through this and it does get better. Im weening myself down at the moment by half of what I was prescribed, and when I feel good at this I'm going to try and cut it in half again. So far at 3 days of my half does, it's been dragging for sure but I know I need to do it. I'm feeling that fatigue and anxiety, it's manageable though for the moment. Nervous about when I cut this dose in half, feel like it might be a few weeks but I don't want to try and just drop it either because I feel it will likely just result at me losing all progress made so far.

Thank you all for the time to post the support you've all been giving me. It's much appreciated, means a lot to hear from people getting through this telling me I can also. I want it so badly, I'm so sick of this stuff, I can't wait to feel like I don't need it anymore just like when I used to smoke cigarettes and couldn't wait to not be dependent on those either. You guys are awesome, thank you

[Danquit]

For me the physical withdrawal seems a distant memory at almost 3 months. The psychological withdrawal however is a daily battle for hope. I was prescribed 60mg daily for 4 years and I abused it every chance I got. The dopamine that Adderall releases was incredibly high and when you quit, your brain is in shock from dopamine deprivation. This causes depression, anhedonia, and massive anxiety attacks. The only thing that will fix this is time. But know that it will be fixed. 

 

Our brains are elastic and will bounce back eventually. It's a rollercoaster ride though, not a straight line. 

[quit-once]

Thanks for those last few post Frank and Bluemoon, and yes, when I stumbled upon this website, I started to see that light at the end of the tunnel, this is awesome to have support there like this and to hear from so many that you can get through this and it does get better  I can't wait to feel like I don't need it anymore just like when I used to smoke cigarettes and couldn't wait to not be dependent on those either. You guys are awesome, thank you

I forgot how I looked forward to kicking the cig habit.  I coupled up those two habits up when I quit.  I think it was easier that way.  I think nicotine drives the speed train.  I still crave the cigs more than the adderall, and I am l 100 % abstinent from both substances after five years.