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Temptations


Frank B

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So tonight after getting done working all day in a part of town I down get to very often I call my friend to see what he's up to and says come on by for dinner. Good guy nice family not a drug user by any means. So I'm at his nice house just chilling thinking I'm glad I'm not just rushing home to go to bed this is good. Anyways talking to his wife noticed a new scar on her neck she had some neck disk problem that I can't fully explain but she had surgery. Then she tells me " of course not knowing what I've gone through past months" I have all these pain pills I never used, I wish I could just sell them haha or just give them to some one who needs them. She said "They gave me a ton and I hate to toss them away but I don't like how they make me feel." I swear to God this happened I felt my heart drop then raced with adrenaline. A million thoughts raced through my brain so fast, the main voice told me "Hey pain pills wasn't you're big problem it was adderal , pain pills just made you feel happy nothing bad." I also said, " You've suffered enough just get a few pain pills be happy for once in 8 months! " Instead of listing to the voices I straight up said, " I know your semi kidding but want you to know I'm recovering from being addicted to pain pills please dont not talk about them and for shit sakes don't let me use your bathroom where the medicine cabinet is." She said ," Wow I can see how that can happen I liked them but stopped because I got sick once on them from a empty stomach."

Anyways it's still racing in my mind how they have such a powerful impact, when I was popping them bet your ass I would have got all of them motherfuckers and played it off perfectly like I'm not a "addict" somehow. I'll say this not to take away from the brutal struggles of stopping adderal but if she would have told me "I have a bunch of adderall I don't need." I would have been like, " No not for me." I would not have felt the need to say why , pain pills opioids just on such a different level of seduction especially after a long work day. Anyways hope this is entertaining I don't know had to share the taste is still so fresh in my mouth glad I said no but damn that was close!

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Wow Frank! This just goes to show how far you have come in just 8 months. The temptation was there and it would have been so easy for you to say yes, but you didn't!! You are beating not only one addiction, but TWO. What you did in that moment took a lot of strength and determination. This was a test and you passed with flying colors. You've got this beat! :)

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Wow. Opioid a addiction is so much worse than amphetamines. Like you dodged a massive bullet. A canon ball really. [/quote

I'm not sure it is worse but after a couple months the impulse to slip up and take adderall has faded a lot. But just because the urge to take a pill is not as strong it's still a battle everyday learning self motivation. Trying to find out who I was before the drug is difficult and of course part of me will never be the same.

The pain pills I feel intimidated by and hate to be around them. It's like a sexy seductive stripper whispering to me who is nothing but trouble if that makes sense lol. Adderal pill is more of a seduction of society telling me to be a happy busy worker bee who cares more about working hard then myself .

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Wow. Opioid a addiction is so much worse than amphetamines. Like you dodged a massive bullet. A canon ball really. [/quote

I'm not sure it is worse but after a couple months the impulse to slip up and take adderall has faded a lot. But just because the urge to take a pill is not as strong it's still a battle everyday learning self motivation. Trying to find out who I was before the drug is difficult and of course part of me will never be the same.

The pain pills I feel intimidated by and hate to be around them. It's like a sexy seductive stripper whispering to me who is nothing but trouble if that makes sense lol. Adderal pill is more of a seduction of society telling me to be a happy busy worker bee who cares more about working hard then myself .

 

Keep slugging. It does get better. Your still early in this process and starting to fell some of the benefits.  Crawl if you need to. Just keep going.

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