10 months and counting!

[oswhid]

Today is 10 months for my husband. 

I read an article recently - one of those things you click on Facebook.  It was asking psychologists what were some of the most profound things a patient ever said to them.   One of them replied that an addict had said,  "I feel like a ghost, walking around unseen in the backdrops of these other happy lives."   That really resonated with me.  Even though I wasn't the addict - it described how alone and lonely I felt.

Life is still often surreal for me now.  In just the past few weeks we have visited my sister for the weekend, have gone for a 25 miles bike ride, done a 12 mile canoe trip down a local river, attended a wine tasting with another couple and bought tickets to a craft beer tasting.   I've also made reservations for a 4 day camping trip in a couple of months - something we have never done before.   And we had fun.   And we didn't fight.  It's almost like we are "real" people again.

As far as how he is doing.  He's just getting back to trying to exercise.  He had a bad case of the flu last month followed by food poisoning from a restaurant.   The silver lining to that is he lost a lot of weight from those two things and it has made it easier to exercise now that he is feeling better.  Though I'm pretty sure he wouldn't recommend that method of weight loss!

 

 

[Frank B]

How is he doing at work? That's the big part of the problem we all struggle with sure we can enjoy life again but have trouble enjoying life when we really don't care to put in the work it takes to enjoy those things. That's my biggest issue can't focus or get the drive needed to enjoy life because I'm  not making the money it takes, barely paying my bills maybe since I'm self employed it's just harder feel at times I should give up my business and have a boss to hold me accountable then again if I get my self motavation back I might really regret letting go of something I built for 14 years. It's been really hard for me to know what I should do. Sorry made this about myself I'm just curious on how people do with work off addy. 

[oswhid]

Frank, can I ask a question?   If you did have all the motivation, drive and focus you wanted, would you be able to earn enough from your business if you stuck to a somewhat normal work schedule - roughly 8-5, 5 days a week?   Or are you saying that if only you could be motivated to work all the time 24/7 like you use to, then you could make enough.   Maybe there is your answer.

My husband is doing ok at work I think.  A good nights sleep is the biggest key to surviving.. Gradually over the months, he mentions less and less about it being "hard" or having "bad days" and "good days" at work as in regard to how he feels.  If he has a bad day, it's more because of what went on at work dealing with office politics, incompetence, etc  - typical corporate crap.   But he has never talked to me in great detail about it so he may still struggle more than he says.

[Subtracterall]

Hi Oswhid. That's great news about your hubs and I hope he continues on this path. I wanted to chime in because i also got cramps in my calves when walking like your husband and since I've had my incompetent veins shut down I've been working my way up little by little and now I can walk briskly for 50 mins and have no pain. It took time to work up to that tho and I'm still afraid to jog and may never jog again but at least I can walk. 

I also had some weird pulsing in my leg near the ankle and it was because I needed to stretch my leg muscles (mainly my hamstring). I know that should be common sense but took me a while to figure it out and the sensation was scaring the crap out of me.  

I guess my point is for your hubs to take it slow at first and work up to it and be sure to stretch.  

[Frank B]

12 hours ago, oswhid said:

Frank, can I ask a question?   If you did have all the motivation, drive and focus you wanted, would you be able to earn enough from your business if you stuck to a somewhat normal work schedule - roughly 8-5, 5 days a week?   Or are you saying that if only you could be motivated to work all the time 24/7 like you use to, then you could make enough.   Maybe there is your answer.

My husband is doing ok at work I think.  A good nights sleep is the biggest key to surviving.. Gradually over the months, he mentions less and less about it being "hard" or having "bad days" and "good days" at work as in regard to how he feels.  If he has a bad day, it's more because of what went on at work dealing with office politics, incompetence, etc  - typical corporate crap.   But he has never talked to me in great detail about it so he may still struggle more than he says.

 Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process. 

[Frank B]

12 hours ago, oswhid said:

Frank, can I ask a question?   If you did have all the motivation, drive and focus you wanted, would you be able to earn enough from your business if you stuck to a somewhat normal work schedule - roughly 8-5, 5 days a week?   Or are you saying that if only you could be motivated to work all the time 24/7 like you use to, then you could make enough.   Maybe there is your answer.

My husband is doing ok at work I think.  A good nights sleep is the biggest key to surviving.. Gradually over the months, he mentions less and less about it being "hard" or having "bad days" and "good days" at work as in regard to how he feels.  If he has a bad day, it's more because of what went on at work dealing with office politics, incompetence, etc  - typical corporate crap.   But he has never talked to me in great detail about it so he may still struggle more than he says.

 Yes I can make a very good living working normal hours. Problem is self motavation to promote my business like I did in the past. I'm more of a wait until they call me approach which is not productive. Glad your husband is able to get by at work you may ask him really how is it going. For me at 15 months it's really hard to accept I have not got back on track where I want to be. Feel like that's a big reason many on here have been clean for months relapse. It's getting semi better but it's a very very slow process.