Social vs Socially Awkward

[AbsentMinded]

Just curious. Some people say that Adderall made them more social and fun. For me it made me anti-social and I didn’t even realize it until now. I’ve only been off about a month (from 90/day) so I am by no means cured, but this is another strike against going back. 

Before Adderall I was very chatty at work. I saw work as another social outlet and would attend every happy hour or work event. This didn’t make me very productive, but it made work more fun. Looking back, from the time I went on Adderall, I became anti-social. Why would I want to leave early for happy hour when I can stay here and work more? Why waste time when there is money to be made? I switched jobs after the first two years and am just realizing I didn’t make a single friend at that job. When I left previous jobs coworkers were sad to see me go. At this last job, literally no one cared. 

Now I work from home so I don’t have coworkers (in person). Of course I loved it the first couple years. No one to bother me or disrupt my work. Now that I’ve been off Adderall, it sucks. 

What are your experiences socially with and without?

[DrewK15]

I can relate to staying at work instead of socializing. I used to get myself all worked up thinking I was so virtuous for slaving away on meaningless spreadsheets, while everyone else went out and had a good time. 

 

Adderall made me more social and outgoing at first, but as I continued to take it I became more and more antisocial until I was completely isolated.

 

Without Adderall I am socially anxious, but not socially awkward. I have a hard time putting myself out there, but when I do it never goes as poorly as I think it will. When I first started taking Adderall the social anxiety disappeared and I loved it. As I continued to use the anxiety came back, and my obsessions took the place of any real human interaction. 

[AbsentMinded]

Thanks for responding! I feel like I have to keep finding and reminding myself that my life was not perfect and easy. Right now I’m bored out of my mind when I try to work, but I’m also in no position to interview for new jobs. I want to be social again, but I almost forget how, or maybe I’m just too tired and overwhelmed.

[Socially awkward]

Prior to amphetamines I had some trouble with social anxiety but I was still able to communicate well and made friends at work (although less easily than most people)

In the hedonistic stage, which lasted a good several months for me, I became popular and had no troubles communicating, was not anxious or awkward in anyway.

Around the 6 month mark, I became anxious around other people and also very awkward where I mix up my words a lot and don’t finish my sentences. The nerves get to me and I just go blank. I also avoid eye contact and social conversations with work colleagues. I am like this both on and off my pills now. I’m  not sure how long it takes after quitting before you start being able to socialise again.

. @AbsentMinded @DrewK15 In the past 2 yrs I’ve pretty much isolated myself from all my friends and most of my family members also. I think this was because I became obsessed with working out and made excuses not to see anyone. I also became too hyper focussed at work and didn’t want to socialise. Have you guys found that you have become more social after quitting? Unfortunately I still can’t seem to socialise properly and make friends with others. 

[DrewK15]

@Socially awkward More social than when I quit? Absolutely. As social as I would like to be? No. But I’m slowly getting better. The last few months before I quit all I did was work, play video games, and drink, so any social interaction is an improvement for me.

 

I have found healing by letting some of my family and old friends back into my life. Not everyone will be accepting of your struggle. Since I’ve gotten clean I’ve done things like a camping trip with friends, playing board games, and cooking thanksgiving dinner with my sisters. And I’m actually present instead of thinking about being somewhere or doing something else.

 

As far as talking to and socializing with new people, I’m working on that. I still have a prominent fear of people. I think what’s most important is breaking isolation, even if it’s just calling an old friend for a few minutes. Progress not perfection!

[Socially awkward]

@DrewK15 it sounds like you have made good progress which gives me hope also. I really need to get out amongst others and stop isolating myself. I think this is hard in the early stages of withdrawal as I tend to feel angry and bitter towards everything. Not sure if it was the same for you? Towards the end of my 2 months I was starting to feel a little better but not great. I just hate that I have undone all my hard work again. 

 

 

[DrewK15]

@Socially awkward Yes I was very irritable, angry, bitter, etc. Still am sometimes (road rage), but it gets better with time and work. You may have undone much of the work you did, but periods of abstinence are never a waste. You’re better off having not used for those 2 months. Hang in there.

[SeanW]

I spent the first six months locked up in my apartment. I couldn’t do anything social. I’m now working daily around people, I go to the gym daily, I spend weekends with family and go out occasionally for some drinks and socialize. I also started playing open mics. I never had the guts or confidence on adderall to play in front of people but it’s something I’m proud to say I am doing now with out adderall.

[AbsentMinded]

@Socially awkward I thought the lack of eye contact thing was just me. I would be talking to someone and completely avoiding eye contact, even though I knew it wasn’t normal. Yet I couldn’t make myself do it. So I would have conversations looking at the ground or in the distance and feel super awkward.  Wish I made the connection earlier. 

[SleepyStupid]

the thing i found weird about social interaction and adderall was that it did both for me: made me enjoy being social but also anti-social.

i think the best way to summarize the effect is that i only enjoyed being social when it was on my terms. chatting online endlessly? loved it. i was in control of that interaction. friend calls to hang out? pass.

to be honest, i'm not so different now, just to a very different degree!

[SeanW]

For me it had to do with my state of high. First few hours and the peak I was extremely social, empathetic, curious. Couple hours later I could give two shits about anyone or what they thought and had no desire to interact even with my closest relationships. I just wanted to be alone because it felt like a burden to have to think of conversation when I didn’t give a shit.

[Socially awkward]

@SeanWIt’s been pretty much the same for me, for the first 2 hrs I am clear headed, social, empathetic, outgoing and come across as someone of intelligence. When the drug starts to wear off it’s like my brain becomes scrambled and I can’t string a sentence together, I become so anxious about my inability to talk or think straight that can’t give eye contact to anyone and try to avoid any interaction