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What motivates you to stay clean?


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Thought I’d check in again. I’ve finally reached the 100 days milestone however, rather than feeling this wonderful sense of achievement I’ve been struggling this past week with PAWS where I’ve suddenly started having strong cravings for my pills again. I think work has been one of the main triggers along with this gloomy cold weather we are having in Sydney. I feel completely unmotivated and have hated my job since quitting Dex amphetamines. I also haven’t been able to find the energy to go to the gym this past fortnight. 

The one thing that has stopped me from using this past couple of days is remembering what I was like during my acute withdrawal phase. I really put my family through hell and said and did a lot of things to hurt people. I also know as wonderful as it may feel to pop a pill right now, within a fortnight I will be right back where I started, taking 100mg a day of this shit and feeling nothing. 

Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts about what your personal triggers are?  What makes you want to use again and what motivates you to stay clean as opposed to giving in and popping another pill? 

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On days I was taking 100mg of Adderall, my blood pressure was at emergency room levels - really, really high. As much as I am still struggling right now, having to worry about having a stroke or heart attack isn’t high up on my list anymore like it was when I was poppin.

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I thank you yer reply. I know thats what I should do and im tryin but I want to get in my head and tell them the truth.as I see it of course.lol

https://real-shopper.club/threads/reduslim-reduslim-moj-realnyj-otzyv.312/ - http://img.real-shopper.club/reduslim.php?reduslim-otzyvi.jpg ;-)

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Sleep. Not ever being embarrassed at the pharmacy again. Counting pills. The shame and guilt. The feeling that I couldn’t do anything without the pills.  No more running out. No more late insomnia nights w/ morning stomachache. If I could just read this a thousand times I’d never crave again right? Geez it’s actually amazing all that is gone now. 7 months 26 days today. Reminding myself of the hellish part is always good.  

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6 hours ago, m34 said:

Sleep. Not ever being embarrassed at the pharmacy again. Counting pills. The shame and guilt. The feeling that I couldn’t do anything without the pills.  No more running out. No more late insomnia nights w/ morning stomachache. If I could just read this a thousand times I’d never crave again right? Geez it’s actually amazing all that is gone now. 7 months 26 days today. Reminding myself of the hellish part is always good.  

Actually at one point in my recovery I got a prescription for Wellbutrin to help me with the fatigue. The first dose I took felt like a very mild version of adderall (the anxious racy sort of feeling) and it was enough for me to remember how god awful the sleepless nights were on Adderall. 

So yeah I would agree, remembering the hellish parts of adderall does help. Congrats on 7 months! On those days you get discouraged, keep in mind the benefits from quitting continue to get better even after a whole year of quitting! It’s gradual, but one day you are going to be very happy.

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Thank you @NaterS. I just have to keep moving forward. Your words are motivating. It’s nice to know that it keeps getting better. My mind has been pretty stuck this last couple weeks. Just have to remind myself to hang on. I wish I quit years ago. Your story is inspiring appreciate the share!

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