feeling hopeful

[dolssa]

Hi everyone!

Hope you all had a great holiday and sending extra love to all during this time. It was my first christmas sober and it was nice not being tweaked out, but it was also difficult to make it through all the socializing. If you read my last post you know i have been suffering from major social anxiety and social withdrawal since quitting. I basically do absolutely nothing but watch netflix and read, but being home for the holidays its been nice to be around civilization again. I even was forced to go to this bar with all of my cousins and i almost had a panic attack on the way there. I was seriously dreading it, but ended up having fun once i was there.  My cousins boyfriend even said to me that I seemed happier than usual, so I'm glad that I am starting to feel and act like less of a robot. That step of going out and socializing without adderall was a big one for me, but now that I was forced out, it wasnt as bad as my addict mind was trying to make it. this no adderall thing is fucking TOUGH, but I'm starting to think I can actually like life without it and thats something.