Three years.

[SeanW]

Hi all, haven’t been active on here much at all the past year. Anyone who remembers or knows me, today is three years clean of adderall. Words can’t describe what it’s like looking back to the state I was in, only my imagination remembers and it can’t be put in words how much different I am and life is now. I do drink alcohol a few times a week but I’m so much healthier now than back then. I can remember particular days and nights early in recovery and how I felt and it is a 100 times better now. I’d like to say I have an amazing drive and motivating purpose to my life but sadly I work to live and do the best I can. I contribute my lose of true purpose and finding that calling to adderall days but I have hope I’ll eventually find it. Anyways, I’m playing music, working as a quality control inspector at a concrete company and not a crack head anymore. Lol to all the new people check out my old post, I wish you the best. To my old friends and fellow posters, I wish you the best and cherish the support and relationships formed over this forum.

all the best 

Cameron 

[LuLamb]

Congratulations on three years! That’s a huge accomplishment. I’ve read many of your post from over the years. You’ve come a long way. My boyfriend asked how I was doing yesterday and I said, “Meh, but not bad-bad. Kinna lacking in motivation and a bit anhedonia-ish” and he laughed and said, “That’s how everybody feels without Adderall!” And tho he was joking, I think there is truth in what he’s saying. Those peeps who have never been speed freaks, who are just living normal, ordinary lives-going to work, earning a paycheck, having some nice times on their time off, are ok with how that is. What a concept!!!! 
Anyhoo- CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Cheers to you!!!

[SeanW]

8 hours ago, LuLamb said:

Congratulations on three years! That’s a huge accomplishment. I’ve read many of your post from over the years. You’ve come a long way. My boyfriend asked how I was doing yesterday and I said, “Meh, but not bad-bad. Kinna lacking in motivation and a bit anhedonia-ish” and he laughed and said, “That’s how everybody feels without Adderall!” And tho he was joking, I think there is truth in what he’s saying. Those peeps who have never been speed freaks, who are just living normal, ordinary lives-going to work, earning a paycheck, having some nice times on their time off, are ok with how that is. What a concept!!!! 
Anyhoo- CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Cheers to you!!!

Well said! I feel anhedonia everyday.. and I don’t want to be discouraging but three years down and I still feel it. EVERYDAY lol it’s really tough but I just tell myself that it’s part of life and most people feel that way regularly. People who never tried adderall feel it the same way they just can’t relate it to an adderall high like we can, making it seem and feel way worse than it is. 

[SleepyStupid]

hey @SeanW

congrats on 3 years!! so glad to hear you're doing well, still playing music and just plain ole living lol. it's so true that we as addicts have a unique point of comparison, and often blame, compared to non-users. ups and downs are just a regular part of life - it feels like a new-normal for us but really it's just a normal normal. (:

[DrewK15]

Congrats Sean. You were the first person to respond to me on this website, it meant so much. I felt heard, loved and empathized with. I miss having you on here more regularly, please know you played a part in this guy’s recovery.