sage Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 i’m just looking for those whose story is similar to mine ...! i am an older mom of an 8 & 5 year old. i don’t take adderall, i abuse it. 2-3 times a month (2-3 days awake followed by 2 days in bed). they know i love them immensely but i’m not present in my time with them. Ive wasted years that could be enjoying them. i only enjoy being high. happy They are the reason I HAVE TO QUIT but having so much trouble doing so. sad situation.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 I'm in the same exact boat as you. Except mine is not 2 to 3 times a month, it is much more frequent. I have 4 kids. I'm at the point where I don't spend the 2 days in bed b/c I just "can't" so I just take more and more... and obviously this has to end. I have to quit. My older ones know that I "take my medicine" and this is not the role model I want to be for them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LWILL75 Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 I am a mom who abuses Adderall. I have four kids, 25, 17, 15 and 3 and am 44 years old. I started taking Adderall on a whim one day about ten years ago. At the time, my son was prescribed it and I wanted to see what it would do. So, I took it and man did I get a ton of stuff done that day!! I've been chasing that high since then. I have my own prescription of 60 mg of XR and 20 mg of IR per month and then I take my daughter's medicine of 30 mg XR and 10 mg of IR. On a good day, I'm taking about 150 mg a day. I run out every single month and every single month at that time I panic. Counting down my pills, trying in all earnest to stretch them out and I never have the will power to do that. Those days when I don't have Adderall are spent counting down the days/ hours until I can get more. I have my own business and days when I don't have Adderall, I don't work making me look incredibly unprofessional. I don't engage with my kids and just want to be left alone. I'm in school for my masters degree and can't do any school work when I don't have Adderall or I at least convince myself that I can't. I know I'm doing some pretty intense damage to my heart but that again doesn't seem like an incentive to stop. I don't like how I feel without it yet continuing to live this insanity can't go on. I ran out of Adderall today again and I'm already dreading the next few days. Of course, I'll call my clients tomorrow and tell them I can't make it yet again and then feel terrible and like a loser all day. I can't even believe I'm in this situation. For years, I was married to a heroin addict and tried to love him sober, unsuccessfully of course. He's now two and a half years clean and now I'm the addict. All I can think about now is Adderall. My three year old wants to play but I can't even think about anything but pills. Isn't that sad? I feel like a worthless loser. My husband and kids know that I have a problem with Adderall but they all think I'm not taking it currently. So, long story short, you're not alone. I feel like I need Adderall for everything. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 29, 2020 Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 It feels good to be not alone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sage Posted August 29, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2020 Just saw your message as I was telling the kids I have a headache, explaining why I’m lying in bed today. I have to do something. This is the absolute most out of control I’ve ever felt & it scares me. Wanna share your story? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted August 31, 2020 Report Share Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/29/2020 at 2:34 PM, sage said: Just saw your message as I was telling the kids I have a headache, explaining why I’m lying in bed today. I have to do something. This is the absolute most out of control I’ve ever felt & it scares me. Wanna share your story? Totally I do but I am too tired lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 I just yearn for connection with other people who get it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetupbaaby Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 Personally, I would LOVE to jump on a group chat with you guys via ZOOM. I have soooo much insight to share and would love advice from you guys as well. I don't know how to set it up but if one of you knows how I would be more than willing to participate. Things are different and more intimate when you can put a face to the names you speak with over the months!!! Stay up everyone, God bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetupbaaby Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 9 hours ago, DelaneyJuliette said: I just yearn for connection with other people who get it. Me too girl!!!! I feel that it's imperative right now for my recovery. I am so isolated and alone outside from work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetupbaaby Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 On 29/08/2020 at 2:34 PM, sage said: Just saw your message as I was telling the kids I have a headache, explaining why I’m lying in bed today. I have to do something. This is the absolute most out of control I’ve ever felt & it scares me. Wanna share your story? i would love to share my story but it definitely is exhausting to type it out. I would love to zoom call, you guys. I think it would be beneficial for all of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetupbaaby Posted September 16, 2020 Report Share Posted September 16, 2020 In fact, I am going to look into creating a zoom meeting today. See if I can figure it out. I will keep you all updated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimach Posted September 19, 2020 Report Share Posted September 19, 2020 I did. I was that mom and I remember feeling EXACTLY like you. Once I came to terms with the fact that I had a problem and I was trying to figure out what to do about it....I found this site about 5 years ago and it helped me so much... so much that I was able to flush my last half bottle down the toilet and haven’t touched it since. I don’t think I participated in the forums of this site when I was going through the quitting process, but I read posts daily and kept notes of things people said that I thought would motivate me through the process and it really helped. No lies, it was NOT easy at the time and the withdrawal totally f**king sucked (turns out, recreating natural dopamine once it is suctioned out of you from Adderall is not a quick process), but once I got through it, it was 1000% worth it. I could have written these posts. I was about as as low as I could go before losing everything, but I fought my way back out. I’m honestly not even sure why I sought out this site again tonight; I think it’s the first time I’ve logged in about 3 years. I still remember that first pill and how it made me feel, but knowing what I know now, it won’t happen again. I normally am not one to post on forums, but for some reason felt the pull to share tonight-maybe it’ll help even one person know that they can get through it and be be better on the other side as well ❤️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted October 13, 2020 Report Share Posted October 13, 2020 On 9/16/2020 at 9:20 AM, sweetupbaaby said: Personally, I would LOVE to jump on a group chat with you guys via ZOOM. I have soooo much insight to share and would love advice from you guys as well. I don't know how to set it up but if one of you knows how I would be more than willing to participate. Things are different and more intimate when you can put a face to the names you speak with over the months!!! Stay up everyone, God bless So can we do it?! Let's make it happen!! PM me! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 My mom abuses crack, it's family though so I know I have to be loving and I recently went from being panicked about her going and doing that to really supportive of her wants and needs. I am happy if she's happy. First of all it's not the end of any of our worlds. your kids are accustomed to you being in your room and left alone, so what? In one perspective there might come a day maybe when they're old enough to understand and accept their mom in the case that this doesn't change. I struggle to accept myself because I like to kill my emotions and get high with my mom's percocet and I'm a recovering heroin addict. I've been clean from heroine since the last year of high school and I'm 26 now. It's really hard knowing you have a problem, I'm terribly sorry about how you feel, it's okay to be sad about it but still look up and remember the bad feeling will pass and you can accept yourself, right? And your life too. Try to begin a healing process. Taking time for yourself to get over past traumas might help your mind to be healthier. And remember you're decisions aren't who you are. you can get clean too. My mom was clean since December, but she had one slip, then a second one where she was honest with me. I really appreciated her being honest with me. May you be honest if you still have a problem with adderall with you children when they're old enough to face it please because it helps their feelings. I've been up this is the third night in a row and I am taking more adderall than usual because I am trying to see if it will work to get me to clean my messy room. It's been so hard to focus for some reason my mom's adderall isn't like my xr and isn't helping at all. We'll see wish me luck. Pulling all nighters is so much fun. Much love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon Posted June 27, 2021 Report Share Posted June 27, 2021 And guys, just because you're moms addicted to adderall doesn't mean I don't love you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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