How I successfully quit after 17 years :)

[NewMindset]

I wanted to share my story here because this website was so helpful for me when I was quitting. It gave me hope that I could do it. I was fortunate enough to have the resources and time to quit the way I did, and it's definitely not accessible for everyone, but I hope that my story will help with someone else's journey. 

I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 13 years old. I took adderall every single day from that point on until I was 30 years old. I can't remember what my starting dosage was, but it slowly crept up every year until I got to 60 mg/day for the past 5+ years. I never went a day without it. I would take 15 mg first thing when I woke up, 15 mg around 10 am, 15 mg after  lunch, and 15 mg at 3 pm. Clockwork. If I had something to do that night, might take 10 mg more. I would do everything in my power not to miss a dose and to get my script filled exactly the day it was due for refill. There was always drama if my script was due for refill on a holiday or while I was out of town.. or if my doctor wrote my scripts for the wrong day so I had to wait an additional 48 hours... I didn't think I could FUNCTION without it.

I've worked in a fast-paced, demanding sales job for a decade now.  I'm always on-call and need to be ready to go whenever a client or opportunity presents itself. I've built a book of business and my clients expect a certain performance level from me... but my husband and I really wanted to start a family, and adderall was the only thing holding me back from that. I knew I needed to quit, but it was SO DAUNTING. I didn't know what I was like without adderall.  I hadn't gone a day without it. The idea of quitting cold turkey seemed way too intense for me, so I decided to wean. I wasn't sure how intense or dramatic the withdrawals would get, so I decided to take a 3 month medical leave from the office. I told my boss and coworkers that I had a health issue that I needed to take care of and didn't disclose what it was for. 

I started weaning November 2020.

I worked with a psychiatrist to write my prescriptions and help me wean (instead of a primary care doctor). Again, I started out at 60 mg and she would lower my dose by 5 mg every two weeks until I got down to 5 mg/day. (She would write a monthly script but there were only enough in there for me to take 55 mg for two weeks and 50 mg the second two weeks of the month) She also prescribed me the lowest dose of Wellbutrin, which I started taking later on in the weaning process. The psychiatrist appts were $20/each with insurance. 

I also worked with a naturopathic doctor and a nutritionist to help come up with the supplements and foods to support my withdrawl/weaning process. I did a blood test that showed my body wasn't absorbing nutrients properly (thanks adderall) and I was deficient in a few nutrients. The naturopathic doctor appts were $20/each with insurance. The nutritionist helped me with monthly recipes that helped support my brain and gut. Cutting out gluten and dairy made a HUGE difference in my brain fog, acne, digestion etc. Nutritionist meal plans were $150/month. 

Other things I did that helped were 5 htp, melatonin, caffeine pills, and microdosing mushrooms. Once I got down to 15-20 mg adderall/day, I would take maybe 20 mg of caffeine pill when I really needed a boost. Caffeine normally didn't do anything for me (because I loved meth aka adderall) but the caffeine pills really helped keep me "alive" when I felt an energy dip. Microdosing psilocybin mushrooms  was really helpful with anxiety and motivation. I took .2-.3 mg every 3 days. This wasn't something you "felt" every day, but I could tell it was helping. 

 I started going to bed early and getting 8-9 hours of sleep per night, drinking lots of water, exercising 30 min per day (even walking counts), journaling, doing meditation, and breathwork. These things helped so much. I would occasionally get cupping and acupuncture, infrared sauna, etc to help with the detox towards the end. In my  journal, I would write daily affirmations, my reasons "why" I wanted to quit, quotes I came across, ideas for self care, and I would just write about my day (my challenges, my fears, etc.). Coming up with a new, healthy routine was essential. 

Weaning was DEFINITELY the way to go for me. I wouldn't have been able to do it without my psychiatrist lowering the dose for me. I surprised myself by how much I could accomplish on 5 mg less each time. I was accomplishing the same amount, and functioning well, at 30 mg, 20 mg, 10 mg. I never thought it was possible. 

In April, once I was down to 5 mg, I went to a wellness/yoga retreat in Mexico (highly recommend). It was the final step for me in my detox journey. While I was there, I felt a little "odd" and my period was late... when I got home, I took a test-- I was PREGNANT!! 

I fully quit adderall April 2021. 

I immediately stopped taking the 5 mg of adderall (and the mushrooms). Pregnancy fatigue is REAL. So, for the first month or so of pregnancy (which was also the  first month of 0mg adderall) I was a lazy sloth and took lots of naps. I still tried to walk every day. I gained 10 pounds of blood, bloating, whatever weight, and I also was eating everything in sight. I listened to my body and I was easy on myself. 

The most important things I've done to be successful aren't expensive-- eating healthy and moving my body. It also prevented me from gaining 50 lbs ;).

It's been about 3 months since I fully quit. I'm now 18 weeks pregnant and feeling GREAT. I still get things done, sometimes more efficiently. On adderall, things had to be perfect and tasks took me even longer because I had to "plan" them and execute them "perfectly". Now I just get it  done. My anxiety levels are much lower. I no longer grind my teeth. I'm actually sleeping well. My social anxiety is gone. It's actually EASIER to work out now! 

I'm so so so grateful for the resources I had to help me quit. Regardless of what resources you do or don't have, you can only quit adderall if you WANT to quit. If you don't want to quit, it won't work. But I can 100% guarantee that life is better on the other side. 

 

This is just a brief summary of my journey-- I'm more than happy to elaborate on anything and answer any questions! 

 

I'll leave you with some quotes I wrote in my journal: 

"I can do hard things"

"Progress over perfection" 

"When the fear of staying the same outweighs the fear of change, that's when we change."

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how"

"Become a human "being" instead of a human "doing""

[SleepyStupid]

hi @NewMindset

so glad to hear you're on the other side - congratulations on the quit and upcoming bundle of joy (:

thanks for sharing your story. the microdosing psilocybin mushrooms  is an interesting approach. unfortunately most of the country doesn't access to this, but in my own experiences with psychedelics (fun dosing ), it can certainly be a tool for introspection and discovering the why beneath the what of our journeys.

[Groundhogdaze]

Hello NewMindset,

Congratulations on the upcoming baby!  I started adderall after being diagnosed with ADHD after having 4 kids when I couldn't cope.  I was a much better listener on Adderall but it backfired and turned my life into a hell-storm that I am still in.

I'm early in the process of 0 mg Adderall.  I started weaning without my doctors help because I have never been able to maintain my life when I have tried to quit or wean. a couple times I went to treatment to get off Adderall and the doc put me back on it in the hospital.  

 

I have been weaning for around 2 years and three weeks ago stopped altogether. Stopping altogether feels a whole lot different than the 5- 10 mg a day I last took. 

I am here because no one i know acknowledges that this drug is harmful and I can't even tell them. If I get any encouragement to go back on, I will. And I now have a heart condition where I the muscle is not able to push enough blood out to meet the demand of exercise. I have no idea why the text just turned red by the way. 

 

I am glad to hear people had some of the same effects from the drug; perfectionism; taking forever to do something because it had to be perfect; not able to cut to the chase.  I also planned too much.   Nothing was any better except my house was neater. That did happen but it was not actually decluttered; i just worked on it all the time obsessively. 

 I see other people in my ADHD support group who also do similar things.  We FEEL super productive and creative and focused, but the amount of actual accomplishment is near 0. Most are not working at jobs and are supported by spouses while they pursue businesses they have dreamed up. (online business). 

Parenting does take organization and focus; if I had it to do over, maybe i would have just stopped putting my kids in so many activities and stayed off adderall. Who knows. 

Good luck to you! Thanks for your insight.