sirod9 Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 ugghhhhh! this is hard. i feel like I have been incorrectly superimposed on my body. (i don't even know if that makes any sense). like it is off. something is off and it feels so uncomfortably awkward. I look stupid. my face is swollen and I have a giant leaky zit below my eyebrow. there are sheet creases in my face and I am the embodiment of frumpy. This is SO HARD. I'm going to go be frumpy and lumpy on the treadmill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted August 4, 2021 Author Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 my brain feels dry 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted August 6, 2021 Report Share Posted August 6, 2021 On 8/4/2021 at 9:44 AM, sirod9 said: i feel like I have been incorrectly superimposed on my body whoa - I totally know what you mean and it's a great way of describing it. it's that feeling that makes you want to jump out of your skin, like your mind and body got in a fight and they're not talking to each other lol. embrace the frump - it's going to be there for a few weeks yet . the swelling is very likely water retention, the fix for which counter intuitively is drinking more water staying well hydrated. keep on keeping on! you got this! (: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted August 6, 2021 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2021 frumping it up! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiaRigby Posted December 13, 2021 Report Share Posted December 13, 2021 Oh lord do I feel this. The awkward feeling. It feels icky it sucks so much. This is end of my fifth day. I feel so weird in my bones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopefulily Posted December 13, 2021 Report Share Posted December 13, 2021 I am SO impressed you are on your 5th day! Keep going!!! I think it’s that feeling that you are describing that scares me about quitting. I am going to try again tomorrow. I said I was going to throw my pills away and I haven’t. In my head I told myself I would continue my wean down (I took 20mgs today vs the 120mgs I was taking in January when I realized I had a huge problem). The fact that there is a whole website devoted to kicking this drug should remind me that this is no easy thing but also to STOP taking it. Clearly is causes major issues and has in my life and the lives of others so whyyyy do I think I need it?!! I’m so disappointed in myself for not doing it. I worry I will fail at doing something for my kids or house or husband or dog or extended family or friends or community but in reality, like many people on this forum, adderall only makes me ThINK I am successful/productive. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted December 14, 2021 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2021 21 hours ago, GeorgiaRigby said: Oh lord do I feel this. The awkward feeling. It feels icky it sucks so much. This is end of my fifth day. I feel so weird in my bones. It DOES get better. on 4 1/5 months now. it is still hard, but nothing like Day 4. I believe days 4/5 were the worst. Keep up the work! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiaRigby Posted December 14, 2021 Report Share Posted December 14, 2021 On 12/12/2021 at 10:05 PM, Hopefulily said: I am SO impressed you are on your 5th day! Keep going!!! I think it’s that feeling that you are describing that scares me about quitting. I am going to try again tomorrow. I said I was going to throw my pills away and I haven’t. In my head I told myself I would continue my wean down (I took 20mgs today vs the 120mgs I was taking in January when I realized I had a huge problem). The fact that there is a whole website devoted to kicking this drug should remind me that this is no easy thing but also to STOP taking it. Clearly is causes major issues and has in my life and the lives of others so whyyyy do I think I need it?!! I’m so disappointed in myself for not doing it. I worry I will fail at doing something for my kids or house or husband or dog or extended family or friends or community but in reality, like many people on this forum, adderall only makes me ThINK I am successful/productive. I know exactly what you are talking about!! Oh my goodness, it's so sweet of you to say that you are impressed and encouraging me to keep going means the world. I feels much what you are describing about worrying about failing... I'm so glad you are here, also and I think you should feel so proud of yourself that you are a parent and a spouse and you have friends and community because those things are seemingly (and for me a lot of days) so hard to nurture and keep up on. I think it has to be about cherishing the good and it's overdone maybe but the entire "gratitude" mindset is maybe completely IT for how to survive this life... That along with learning about the Enneagram or astrology or the seasons changing... Those are some other paths of thought that have helped me get out of this other space my brain created so long ago!! I am so afraid of the fact that hard work truly scares me to my core unless it can be something that I really love which makes me feel privileged and annoying and honestly just entitled for no reason when so many people spend their entire lives working and putting forth efforts that didn't necessarily make them "feel purpose or happiness"... They just did it. I have been trying to be a realtor for 2 years now and it's been weird for me because I would and have taken my adderall or my Xanax just to feel confident enough to put myself in front of others to try to see who might need my "help"... Spending so much time in my head considering the amount of people in this world with talents in all types of things: the consistent effort certain creators put into making videos or putting out their work, anything from dancing to makeup tutorials to financial coaching, anything! and how much time that must take and how they have it within them to do it and have discipline to push through the uncomforts that always stand next to uncertainty. Not knowing that it will mean anything or that anyone will see or care and that you might need to put out a hundred of something before getting any love for it. It feels too much, like I'll never amount to anyone or do anything at all... Oh, I know I'm talking all over the place and I can feel my brain struggling to access how I really feel or having words to describe the fears I feel every morning waking up. The tears. Anyway, I am making hardly a sense of anything at all but I think that must mean that my brain is healing. Sending love!!! Let's stay talking!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgiaRigby Posted December 14, 2021 Report Share Posted December 14, 2021 20 hours ago, sirod9 said: It DOES get better. on 4 1/5 months now. it is still hard, but nothing like Day 4. I believe days 4/5 were the worst. Keep up the work! Thank you thank you!! What a wonderful response and one that I am holding on to for the rest of this week. I needed it, thank you truly!!! Also, congrats on 4 1/5 months!!!!! wow!!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted December 15, 2021 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2021 3 hours ago, GeorgiaRigby said: Thank you thank you!! What a wonderful response and one that I am holding on to for the rest of this week. I needed it, thank you truly!!! Also, congrats on 4 1/5 months!!!!! wow!!!!! You're welcome. If you ever need to chat, you are welcome to send me an IM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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