sirod9 Posted August 4, 2021 Report Share Posted August 4, 2021 this is hard. harder than the 2 week break I took in June. I am unable to stay awake most of the time. I tried to work, but that was a mess so I called my manager and let her know that I was quitting a medication and was having withdrawal symptoms. she was extremely understanding. I'm so sad because my boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, is not sure if he wants to be with me anymore. he was my best friend and a huge support in my life. I miss him so much. I guess this is me being super selfish. I ruined that relationship because I was so wacked out on adderall most of the time. Ugh! just wallowing in the affects of my causes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted August 6, 2021 Report Share Posted August 6, 2021 glad to hear you spoke to your manager and she was understanding. that's a very positive step, and you need all the leeway you can get right now. no doubt about it - this will be harder than any break in the past, and part of that is the "why" behind the break. those 2 week breaks are often known as "drug vacations", and they can actually feel really great and relaxing, but it's only because you know that you're going to be returning to the drug soon - this time you're never looking back! sorry to hear about your boyfriend, I think we all know what it's like to railroad relationships during our addictions. my honest advice here is say your sorry's, tell him you need some time to work on yourself and leave it alone for now. asking for his help and support right now may lead him to resent you (this is what happened with my ex-gf). if you want any kind of real future with him, you need to show him you can do this for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirod9 Posted August 6, 2021 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2021 so true about the drug vacations. I must say, there is a realness to the pain and suffering though. it gives it more weight and coming out the other end will feel more triumphant. I even broke up with my prescribing doctor. I told his assistant that I was "addicted" and needed to be placed on the do not prescribe list. I asked her to close my file and flag it as such. this was yesterday. I'm feeling better today, but I am aware that tomorrow will be a different story and I will teeter back and forth. that is true about doing it on my own. we are speaking again, and a part of my wants to just jump into being lovey dovey and getting his support. It's easy to over look the fact that I dragged him through some shit over the last year, and I'm lucky he hasn't completely written me off. Putting aside my desire for connection for caring about him as a person and wanting the best for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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