tinybuddha Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 I thought maybe it would be helpful to have a thread where people could post about what day we are on in the process. Other members on the forum that have been successful have talked about how accountability can be very helpful in staying clean. Even if it is just to have a place to post the day and maybe help on those days we are on the edge of relapsing. Also, it could be a place where we can ask advice or just share with others about their experiences during the different stages. Please share which day/week/months your at on this journey. I am on day 10 off adderall!! I am starting again after relapsing, but not nearly as intense as before the first time I quit. I am really struggling in the morning. I feel like it takes until late afternoon for the fog to lift. I am tired all day but then at night I can't seem to fall asleep for hours. Is anyone else finding the withdrawal symptoms worse earlier in the day? Any advice on how I can get my motivation kick started now that I don't set my alarm to take a pill and then wait for it to kick in and jump out of bed. Many days I can't even make myself get up to make a cup of coffee or shower without laying in bed for hours first psyching myself up to start the day. The worst part is most of what I need to get done is during normal business hours and it keeps piling up on me causing me to stress even more. On a positive note, I do already feel my empathy and spunk returning. I am doing much better(still not great) about not completely isolating myself from people which was a major issue that was getting out of control while I was taking adderall. Thanks for letting me vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highonlife Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 Get up earlier and force urself to stay up. That will atleast allow you to go to sleep earlier and should get easier with time. I am on day 56 and feel great. It's hard to motivate myself to do certain things like study but that is normal. If you like to study you are either on adderall or just a loser. haha keep up the good work tinybuddha you got this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 Tinybuddha, One of the reasons I got hooked on adderall was because, like you, I was always tired in the mornings and wide awake at night. Classic night owl. Which made working a 9-5 difficult. Enter adderall, which gave me endless daytime energy but of course destroyed my soul. The daytime sluggishness was the hardest thing for me about quitting. Going to work every morning was tortuous for the first few months. After about 3 months my body adjusted and I got used to the schedule again. Light exercise like walking and yoga will help, and a healthy diet. Not much else you can do other than relax as much as possible because your energy and motivation will be shot. Good luck! You will feel good again, it will just take some time. It will be worth it in the end. I am 7 months clean and here to tell you it gets better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinybuddha Posted July 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 Thanks! I am 12 days clean.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matilda Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I'm on day 378! And it gets sooooo much better. Getting my personality back has been a real pleasure. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted July 23, 2012 Report Share Posted July 23, 2012 I've got 113 days off the evil...yaay! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 620 days! (C'mon all you others, post up your quitting time so we can all give a round of applause) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John256 Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Uhh,... day 7? Does that count enough? lol it feels like nothing in comparison to 620 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted July 25, 2012 Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Day 30. Help me Jesus. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinybuddha Posted July 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2012 Day 15! This was the hardest one so far, but I made it through even if it was completely unproductive. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evie25 Posted July 26, 2012 Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 90 days...still struggling like hell, but sleeping and laughing feel damn good. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ms.sassy.kara Posted July 30, 2012 Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 Hello . I am on day 25 of quitting Adderall. I am a 24-year-old female. I am officially able to say that quitting Adderall is the hardest thing I've ever done. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 12. Alot of problems in my family were happening and we went to family counseling to figure out how to alleviate the tensions in the household. It was my father, me and my stepmother. She has self-esteem issues and depression - and feels the need to control everyone around her. A psychiatrist diagnosed her with severe depression. But she wouldn't take her medicine, because I was the one with the "problem." So, after some discussion and the counselor/pschiatrist tested me for ADHD, I was diagnosed. They said I had a mild case - I didn't show the classic signs of hyperactivity and inability to focus but I did tend to talk too much. I didn't have trouble in school, on the contrary, I was able to pay attention and pretty much always got A's and B's. But at 12 years old, I was not doing so well in keyboarding class - was just barely getting a C. So, out came the ADHD diagnosis and then the prescription for Adderall. First it was 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg after school. I improved my keyboarding grade, wasn't talking back to my parents, wasn't blurting out in class....all because of this "miracle drug". After about 6 months, we switched my medication from regular Adderall tablets to Adderall XR 15 mg. And then all of a sudden things were better in my life. Fast-forward 6 years, I was 18. Time for college. I felt lost and confused in college and wasn't able to keep a high level of organization. The answer? of course - more Adderall! My dose was upped to 20 mg a day, and then a year later I went to 25 mg. 25 mg of XR was too much. I was hyped up. I had a "high" in the mornings. My dose was lowered to 20 mg daily once again. The only way I was able to figure out the Adderall wasn't the answer was when I was 23 and was out of school. I seemed to have an unnormal amount of energy. I got my first job in a manufacturing plant. I lost it, 7 months later. Then I got another job, moved to another state, and lost that job 3 months later. During that time, I was hostile and aggressive due to the job loss but also because when you aren't working and you are still taking Adderall - well it makes you go a little crazy! All of a sudden you have this high energy level and nothing to do with it all. I declared bankruptcy, moved into my relatives house, and changed careers. I still wasn't happy. I was doing good work. But the happiness element only came in brief flashes. Then I met the love of my life. We moved in together. I continued to take my Adderall XR, although my new insurance at work didn't cover it. Then I got more and more controlling and agressive towards my boyfriend. I began to wish he was taking Adderall like me so he could get as much done in a day as I could. Very unfair assesment, as he has a very physically demanding job that he does 12+ hours a day. Without even recognizing it, I had gotten to the point where my life revolved around that single act of popping my pill in the morning. Waiting the 15 minutes until my brain and body reacted to the blissful reality of the energy boost on my pill! How is this any different than a drug addict???? It's not!! So I quit. After 12 years of being medicated, I've had enough. But it has been really rough. REALLY REALLY ROUGH!! I have been on it for 12 years, and I feel like I don't know who I really am. I don't know myself at all! I have had all the withdrawal symptoms of a meth addict. I feel like crap. My self-esteem has taken a direct hit. I feel very lost, confused, and not confident at all. One day it all came to a head and I was sobbing, saying over and over, "Who am I, who am I?" At day 14, I flushed my medication. Which is a good thing, because if I hadn't, I would definitely have had a relapse. The withdrawal symptoms I was experiencing by day 20 to day 23 were pushing me over the edge. I wanted my Adderall so bad!!! How could this happen? How could the drug companies do this? How could there be 14 million prescriptions for Adderall being filled every year in the U.S.? This drug that screws with your mind! Makes you feel good, gives you a heightened, unrealistic portrayal of energy and will power that you don't truly have. No one needs to have that much. It's unnatural. This drug is only LEGAL in the United States and Canada. Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with that?! During the first week of being off of it, my head felt dizzy. I had light-headedness. I slept 13 hours for two days straight during the first week of being off of it. I try to only sleep 7 hours (which was plenty before..) but somehow I still feel tired. I am trying to exercise daily, as I know this will help. I have wanted to sleep alot. I sleep 8-9 hours and more sometimes. On a positive note, there have been some days where I get alot done at work and alot done at home. But out of the 25 days off of it, I still feel like an addict - wishing I had it. There is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel. My boyfriend has been really supportive, without him in my life to see what my future could be, I don't know if I would have been able to stop. I would have kept saying, I need it, it's okay. Please if anybody can read and learn from my experiences, just know that Adderall is not the answer to your problems. Maybe going without medication is not an option for you, but please don't get sucked into Ritalin or Adderall or any type of stimulant. They are dangerous and very addictive. Finding this website has been a very bright spot for me in the past couple of weeks. I'm very glad to know I'm not the only person going through all of this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Day 423 and feeling about 98% fully recovered. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highonlife Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Nice InRecovery and quit-once! And everyone who has decided to quit... I am on day 70 and feel great! I have a huge exam (MCAT) on August 16th and today was one of those freakout moments when I contemplated going on an Adderall binge and studying three days straight. But nothing is worth taking Adderall again. Ever. Congrats everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 Day 21... and it's a hard one. I'm just sitting here reading old threads to remind myself that others have struggled and made it through. This one made me smile so I decided to bring it back! After the first awful week, the fog lifted and the past 10 days had me feeling pretty optimistic. But yesterday and today I've just felt depressed. It's the weekend, and I haven't left my house at all except to go see a concert with a friend last night (which was fun). I got up to take a shower and then just got back in bed. Blah. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 Day 19 and overall so happy to have made the decision to quit. So happy overall but somewhat depressed today. I feel lonely even though I was invitd to dinner tonite and chose not to go -what up with that? I guess I feel reluctant to making the next move toward getting my life back. Quitting is awesome but I can't let the loneliness of isolation bring me down. There, I feel better after having said that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle_Chaos Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 I relapsed recently, but before that I hadn't taken it since September.. Sadly, the relapse, counts..so almost two months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 Day 30!! It might sound cliche but I will always be a recovering adderallic. Part of me will never return to baseline after having been on that roller coaster. It is, and always will be, a struggle. Previously, I went over 6 years quit and clean, and then I relapsed. Big-time. I guess relapse is always a possibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle_Chaos Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 Day 30!! It might sound cliche but I will always be a recovering adderallic. Part of me will never return to baseline after having been on that roller coaster. It is, and always will be, a struggle. Previously, I went over 6 years quit and clean, and then I relapsed. Big-time. I guess relapse is always a possibility. That's depressing, at what point in being clean in the 6 year period did you feel you had fully gained your old self back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 The first time I quit I felt I gained my old self back pretty quickly, within a couple months, but I was on a pretty low dose then. I weaned off it and substituted it with coffee. I was ready and I had come to hate adderall so much, I just didn't want it anymore. When I first relapsed, I didn't even WANT to take it. The thought of taking it scared me, but I did it anyway. I took it because I had stuff to do, I took it because I had the option. But once I took it, just a 5 mg IR, that was enough to set me off. I was hooked again. For 3 1/2 years and at high doses, I believed I needed it. I think the key is just to never have even a taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted January 27, 2013 Report Share Posted January 27, 2013 I think the key is just to never have even a taste. Couldn't agree more. it is called total abstinence and the only surefire way to stay off the shit. every time I get tempted for a pill or a cigarette, all I do is pause, and say "...why the fuck would you want to do that to yourself?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Hello all my beautiful brothers and sisters I think this is a great trend I love it . Its day 120 for the falcon I cant fucken believe it the worst part of my day is getting up in the morning I don’t even have the energy to make the coffee and then I shit at the kitchen table like a zambee my head is slumps over like I belong in a nursing home or something like that then I am in this state of fatigue lintel my 3 cups of coffee kick in this takes about 1 and a half hours then my motivation starts up butt it is not a natural motivation I need to push it to happen. Then I try to go out for a hike in the woods to get this old blood flowing and it also clears my mind the peacefulness of being on the trail clears my mind after my hike I fell like doing some work so fair half a day has gone by that’s my daily rutteen. My good friend depression is still with me it will never leave me alone as my friends on the forum know its a fuced up life for moust of us but its my life and I need to make the best with what I have Ben given ben given. The way I need to look at it is this way there are people on this earth whom are in worst shape then myself so I have learned not to feel sorry for my self jest take every day i have good or bad and make the best out of it . We all need to be thankful that we the adderal addicts have a choice and we will recover as my good friend quitonce said we need to putt our time in being clean from the drugs we have abused time will heal there is no fast way to recover only the slow way so lets keep counting our days clean its a great idea Your thru friend and supporter THE FALCON 120 days and counting 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 Day 9. I was on day 84 before I relapsed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 MFA, I don't know if the word "relapse" accurately describes your one pill hiccup That is a glass half empty way of looking at it. Another way to put it would be: the longest period of time you have been adderall-free was 84 days. That gives you a new goal to achieve - day 85. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted January 28, 2013 Report Share Posted January 28, 2013 I thought maybe it would be helpful to have a thread where people could post about what day we are on in the process. Other members on the forum that have been successful have talked about how accountability can be very helpful in staying clean. Even if it is just to have a place to post the day and maybe help on those days we are on the edge of relapsing. Also, it could be a place where we can ask advice or just share with others about their experiences during the different stages. Please share which day/week/months your at on this journey. I am on day 10 off adderall!! I am starting again after relapsing, but not nearly as intense as before the first time I quit. I am really struggling in the morning. I feel like it takes until late afternoon for the fog to lift. I am tired all day but then at night I can't seem to fall asleep for hours. Is anyone else finding the withdrawal symptoms worse earlier in the day? Any advice on how I can get my motivation kick started now that I don't set my alarm to take a pill and then wait for it to kick in and jump out of bed. Many days I can't even make myself get up to make a cup of coffee or shower without laying in bed for hours first psyching myself up to start the day. The worst part is most of what I need to get done is during normal business hours and it keeps piling up on me causing me to stress even more. On a positive note, I do already feel my empathy and spunk returning. I am doing much better(still not great) about not completely isolating myself from people which was a major issue that was getting out of control while I was taking adderall. Thanks for letting me vent. Hey there. I only made is 3 days after my last attempt to quit. It's been a few weeks, and tomorrow will be day one again. I too felt sleepy and intense mind fog up until 1-2pm, then i couldn't seem to fall asleep until 12am. Sucky. Congrats on day 10! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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