dolssa Posted January 9, 2022 Report Share Posted January 9, 2022 has anyone experienced dissociation and or derealization when quitting? I went a year without adderall, 2020 i was clean. then in the beginning of 2021 i relapsed and started using 50 mg Vyvance twice or three times a week. my roommate gives me a few from her script so its controlled. on the days i didnt take it i would stay in bed depressed / disassociating. on days i took it i would clean my apartment / hang out with friends / have energy it would snap me to the present moment and quiet my brain like its supposed to with people with ADHD. it made me forget why i quit. but then the come down hits and i cant stop disassociating. I dont know if its adderall related or a trauma response from other things im not facing. i know im on a slippery slope taking it a few times a week. my life is unbalanced / a rollercoaster of feeling okay, feeling great, feeling like shit. something that led me to relapse after a year was over stimulation. i would go out and be over stimulated by loud restaurants, too many people, crowds to the point of panic attacks, meltdowns. i never had this issue during my 5 years of taking adderall everyday. this and a few other things are leading me to seek an autism diagnosis. this is off topic i just wanted to include it to see if anyone else relates. anyway Ill end this with if you are clean for a year dont go back. i really fucked up by choosing to relapse. i dont see quitting in my future anymore no matter how unhappy i am. temporary artifical happiness is better than mind blowing depression and panic attacks from over stimulation. at least its controlled and i only get a few a week. anyone else disassociate alot ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted January 10, 2022 Report Share Posted January 10, 2022 I know the feeling. In my experience it gets better the more time I have. Right now I'm on day 21. Just trying to make more days pass. I have relapsed so many times in the past and am hoping I have learned my lesson this time. Getting other meds from a psychiatrist has helped me though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrewK15 Posted January 11, 2022 Report Share Posted January 11, 2022 On 1/9/2022 at 3:55 PM, dolssa said: temporary artifical happiness is better than mind blowing depression This statement jumped off the page to me. I used to live by the same philosophy before I got sober. The problem I found is eventually you run into a dead end. The things we turn to in order to trigger “temporary artificial happiness” eventually turn on us and stop working. Most people on this site fall under the category of people who have much control and choice over how to live their life. We all mortgage our future for quick happy feelings to some degree. You get to choose to what extent you do so. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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