Hopefulily Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Hi everyone, I have been reading past posts about Wellbutrin. I tried going from 20mgs of adderall to cold turkey again and am having a lot of trouble with it. I have no motivation and cannot take care of my 3 toddlers. I know imy mindset and the final step that I need to complete (this time last January I had a panic attack from taking 120mgs plus per day which I have weaned down from), however I am struggling big time to think how to even get my girls out of the door to school or even a walk on non-school days. I have hypothyroidism and cannot take L-tyrosine or so it says on the bottle bc it will interfere with my synthroid. I also struggle with being able to drink caffeine-it makes me very cranky. I am waiting for an integrative care apt in March to help me with my hypothyroidism, adderall abuse and various issues so plan to ask a doctor about the l-tyrosine specifics then. I tried wellbutrin but was having horrible insomnia. Even from day 1 which is strange as they say it takes weeks to start working. I unfortunately am in the camp of those adderallics that then get addicted to downers - xanax, klonopin and ambien. I threw those pills out two weeks ago and will never ask for a refill. I have realized they affect my memory, body, etc. I replaced them with 15mgs of cbd oil for now but that did not help with the wellbutrin insomnia. To me, Wellbutrin reminds me of vyvanse but maybe I haven't given it enough of a chance? I originally tried 200mgs Wellbutrin SR. I thought taking it twice per day was the insomnia issue. I then asked my doctor for the extended release thinking that would be better but it wasn't. It did make me feel less depressed and motivated to do things but also not able to stop and meditate, drink water etc. I thought that was very strange and also not good for the recovery process from quitting adderall. I continue to fail to make it past 4 days without going back to the remaining adderall supply I have. I have thrown it out before but don't want to be a total wasteland and have my daughters see me as this uncaring, absent mother. When I was younger I look back and sometimes wish my mom had almost taken a little bit of adderall to pay more attention to me but maybe that was because she was grieving over the death of my youngest sister. I know a part of this quitting process is to figure out how we got here in the first place which I am working on in my journal. What is the strangest about all of this is I feel like you would meet me and never know I was addicted to all of these pills. I put a very good front up and pretend to be happy, have it decently together as a mom. I love being a stay at home mom but use adderall to get through cleaning and doing household chores which I hate. I would get lost in lalaland and play with my kids all day but forget to make dinner, make sure everyone had clean clothes, etc. I am trying to educate myself about the positives of adhd, why adderall is so bad for me (I know many of the reasons but am learning more and more each day and getting to the point of hating having to take it) and how to deal with my adhd with meditation, working out, eating clean and self-love/acceptance. However all of that isn't moving as fast as I would like because I am still on this soul-sucking drug. My lame excuse is the mommy's little helper basically. Maybe I should continue my step down method? However I have stepped back up to 30mgs some days which is a huge red flag, I know. Maybe I should let my body normalize after giving up all of the downers and then finish my wean down and see if I need wellbutrin? But then how do I deal with the massive depression wave that comes from not taking adderall all day? I do think I might have mixed some days taking wellbutrin and adderall. Maybe I will go back to just taking wellbutrin but I also felt it made me not want to workout/move my body but that could also be from the adderall withdrawal? If anyone is still reading and has some advice I would greatly appreciate it! I am struggling. I am doing my best to continue to move forward to quitting adderall. I know it would make life so much better and I love envisioning my future self writing to you all about a sober life. I know it doesn't come for free and there is a lot of self-work that needs to be done so I can feel good about getting to that place. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SleepyStupid Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Sorry to hear about the additional health challenges - that integrative care approach sounds positive though! For what it's worth, supplements tend to have very little impact during the acute recovery phase. If L-tyrosine is already contraindicated for your thyroid condition, probably not worth pursuing. On 1/24/2022 at 10:02 PM, Hopefulily said: I originally tried 200mgs Wellbutrin SR. I thought taking it twice per day was the insomnia issue. I then asked my doctor for the extended release thinking that would be better but it wasn't. It did make me feel less depressed and motivated to do things but also not able to stop and meditate, drink water etc. I thought that was very strange and also not good for the recovery process from quitting adderall. I'm not a physician, but that's honestly too much Wellbutrin. 300 mgs a day is often cited as the "target adult dose", but that's for primarily for treatment of depression. The fatigue and depression we experience as a result of discontinuing stimulants is kind of different. That said, I found Wellbutrin to be helpful during my recovery, but as half that dosage. It's not supposed to be something you feel "kick in" like Adderall, but it can subtly curb the worst of the fatigue in the early stages of recovery. In my experience, the lower dosage didn't cause anxiety, restlessness, etc. and when I was ready to be done with it, no side effects coming off! On 1/24/2022 at 10:02 PM, Hopefulily said: Maybe I should continue my step down method? However I have stepped back up to 30mgs some days which is a huge red flag, I know. Maybe I should let my body normalize after giving up all of the downers and then finish my wean down and see if I need wellbutrin? But then how do I deal with the massive depression wave that comes from not taking adderall all day? I do think I might have mixed some days taking wellbutrin and adderall. Maybe I will go back to just taking wellbutrin but I also felt it made me not want to workout/move my body but that could also be from the adderall withdrawal? You've probably noticed that most on these forums don't recommend the step down method - the reason is that it requires a tremendous amount of discipline, especially if you were previously abusing above your prescribed dosage. Cold turkey works well for stimulants because unlike other drugs (pain killers, benzos, alcohol), there isn't a risk of dangerous physical withdrawal. Having access to Adderall is probably the only reason you're still taking it. Unfortunately, there's no simple answer to dealing with the "massive depression wave" other than planning for it. Do you have a partner or family that can provide support for the first couple of weeks? What about after that? The most successful recoveries happen through careful planning, managing expectations and a strong belief that things will be better on the other side (: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopefulily Posted January 28, 2022 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Thank you for taking the time to respond! I really appreciate your thoughts and have journalled about them. I should have made it more clear- I started wellbutrin with 100mg of SR. Then after a week I went up to 200. However I could not sleep from even the first day of taking it. I had what seemed like a weird comedown when I only took the SR once per day but then if I took it twice per day I couldn't sleep. I then switched over to try taking 150 xr. I could not sleep even from the first day so I took half. Even with half I just feel strange. I am so glad Wellbutrin worked for others on this forum. This is an inspiring group of people who I will forever be grateful for sharing their stories as corny as that sounds. I can definitely see why wellbutrin is successful however I just don't think it is for me. Yes, I think it will be very beneficial to see an integrative care specialist as the more I read about the medication I am prescribed for my hypothyroid the more I believe that could be playing a role in the exacerbated adhd symptoms I am struggling with. Side note about pharma companies and doctors- my GP will only prescribe synthetic versions of thyroid medication not natural. So I have been researching different ways to cure my hypothyroid struggles and diet is one of them - giving up dairy and gluten seem to free some people of thyroid issues. I have read on this forum that some people have given those two foods up when quitting adderall as well and have found that approach helpful. My husband and I are going to try a 90 day dairy and gluten free diet starting Monday. We are going to prep for it this weekend. Funny you mention planning bc I had never thought to do that in this process really. However, I guess I should approach it the same way I am approaching my diet rehaul. I often forget about how important planning is... My husband is very supportive and has for the most part taken over the childcare and cleaning duties when he is home from work. I loathe feeling lazy though and try to help as much as possible. I do completely understand why cold turkey works and did that for my pregnancies. My 3rd pregnancy I unfortunately took smaller doses of adderall to combat falling asleep while trying to take care of my other two daughters. I will spend my life regretting that. I am going to start focusing on sleep, no downers including alcohol during my 90 days. It makes me feel worse anyway and I have come to the point where drinking just doesn't feel good. I have done a lot of reading and journalling to get to that point and now I hardly ever drink or even want to. I am working on that with adderall as well. I am going to stick to 20mgs and work my way down again through a schedule to be done by my 35th birthday in two months. If I continue to slip then cold turkey it will be on my 35th birthday. Thanks for the support and input. I know I will get there just might be on a different, longer path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hopefulily Posted January 28, 2022 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Also, I meant to respond about how the depression experience of coming off of stimulants is different from clinical depression. Thank you for pointing that out. That is helpful to think and journal about. That makes sense as adderall has for so long manufactured dopamine in my brain and now my brain has to get it from natural sources like exercise. I know for me the more I understand exactly what is happening to my brain and body the better. I am currently reading amphetamine debate although I only get through a few pages at a time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DelaneyJuliette Posted February 23, 2022 Report Share Posted February 23, 2022 I take 75 MG of wellbutrin bc the 150 was too high. I am struggling with getting off the ambien and klonapin rt now. Uggghhhh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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