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What do I do now?


Cmcloughlin1218

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I quit today. I have ran out before and went through withdrawal before but never on purpose. I have bi polar and without insurance it has been hard to survive. I discovered the miracle drug and for the first time in my life I felt normal. I have always taken drugs, anything to tame the terrors of my disease but my last few years I was speed balling Ambian and Adderall, drinking, smoking pot and taking the occasional opiate. I did all of this while managing a restaurant and running their marketing program. I am also married and the father of two. Two years in, the drugs stopped working and I started screwing up like usual. I am now unemployed, but on drugs for my bipolar for the first time.

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Cmcloughlin1218

Hey brother I know exactly how you feel I am also inflicted with depression all my life . I also self medicated my self with all kinds of shit more shit then I want to go into now. I am also a father of two kids 20 and 24 and I am a screw up myself it seems like everything I do I fuck up the drugs I have taken in my life time did not help my situation in keeping a job. I finally learned late in my life how to stop using drugs and deal with life the natural way clean and sober it took me a life time to get to learn these skills I am angry at my self for letting my life pass me by. So learn from me and my fuck ups. I hit rock bottom so many times butt always managed to get out of the hole but this lasts time I was near death hit the bottom so fucken hard there was no way out butt up luckily I had some good people lift me up . I came across this great web site by destiny Like you have. I guit using adderall about 83 days now. I understand where your coming from believe me my brother it sounds like we came from the same school .

Keep taking your antidepressants as described by your doctor it will take a little time for your antidepressants to start working on you so be patient and hopefully you will not have any bad side affects from them .Also when the erg to use drugs come knocking on your door think about your babies they need a father that they can look up to kids are very perceptive they pick up on everything so show them your love as often as you can get clean find a job and move on with your life clean and sober.

FALCON

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lightofthetunnel,

Fight the cravings! It's hard as hell, but you can get through it. It's your addiction lying to you.I don't know if you've already made your mind up, but it sounds like you already have the mindset you're going to take it. Just try to get through a minute, an hour, a day at a time! :)

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