Commitment to working out: hoping it will help with PAWS/recovery

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Maybe I should have put this under the "lounge" but I do think it's related to quitting adderall.

Many people on this forum have said how much working out, running etc helps with recovery. And there is TONS of research out there about the psychological and long-term health benefits of working out. And I used to, before adderall, be pretty fit... I was a triathlete, state equestrian champion, played basketball and was a pretty good surfer (not all at the same time, obviously). So I know I CAN do it, I just haven't since taking adderall, 3 years ago. I got lazy when a drug was doing all the work for me, and I was always "too busy" to go to the gym.

But, as I am nothing if not honest, so I know if I commit to something on this forum then I HAVE to commit to it. So I'm going to start working out 5x a week and although I won't bore you with the details, having you guys to be accountable to will be really helpful. Maybe it will also help with the post-adderall-depression and PAWS too, as well as get me out of the house.

Just wanted to make that pronunciation. Will let you know how I go (occasionally, I know this is not a fitness board so don't worry I won't take us off topic).

[Kyle_Chaos]

It definitely does, when I run 30-45 minutes (running that long promotes maximum dopamine release) I notice I feel about ten times better.

I'm so addicted to running and everything now, I have trouble making myself take an "off" day.

I wish you the best of luck.

[quit-once]

Yoga! 2-3 times/week!

[ashley6]

I think it's a great idea putting it in "writing," so you'll stick to your word. I'm so lazy when it comes to working out. I'll get on a working out kick, then nothing for weeks at a time, and I KNOW better. I'm thinking up my exercise plan and will be posting what I will commit to, because it is so important, mentally and physically, especially in recovery. To be continued....

[sky]

the exercise is one facet of a new healthy you... exercise in and of itself can be good, or harmful, depending on the other facets... go easy, get some insight from experts, like trainers, or books, or talking to people who you think got it goin on at the gym... you can over do it, and too much exercise can actually be harmful and destructive, as can working out too often too hard, it's a combo of cardio and weights (suited to your goals, body, age, and how much lululemon gear you have), diet, rest periods, protein intake, etc etc etc.... also, be careful of setting yourself up for failure.... I mean, if you set a goal of 5x a week, and for some reasons you can't meet that goal every week, are you going to feel like a failure? are you going to be mad at yourself or resentful towards those who might have gotten in your way?? Exercise does become a great addition to your day. Especially after you begin to see and feel the results. And it also becomes a lifestyle; you want to eat healthier, evolve your workout so that you can fine tune areas you want to fine tune, even driving to the gym becomes sort of ironic, as does trying to get the closest parking spot... just so you can get in there and run...

anyhoo, aim high, but don't set yourself up for failure or disappointment... we're all cheering you on no matter what kind of progress you make, as long as it's progress and evolution and ascension.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Ran 3 miles and did 3 sets of weights. Endorphins rule!

[FALCON]

Hay brothers and sisters my exercise today was sitting on the couch in the house boat eating an extra-large Italian beef with hot peppers on it .Your absolutely right the endorphins kick in when you go to the Jim and you do feel better after your work out. The word work get me tired it truly dos my friends no joke I feel like shit after going to the gym to much argons and macho shit for me and it gets me more tired and board working out. Why do all the gym have TVs all over the place it’s so you don’t fall asleep while doing your workout .What I do for my endorphin rush is be with nature and be out in the woods mountains desert or whatever you like to do outdoors. I hike every chance I get any season 3 to 10 miles depending who I am with sometimes I’m alone and other times I’m with a group of fellow hikers and bag pikers. And then and I rater chop fire wood for an hour then left a bunch of dumb weights why do you think there called dumb belles . No disrespect to my friends I love all people even those whom enjoy the gym. Maybe they sit at a desk all day and need to relieve there stress by going to the gym deferent strokes for all the different folks you herd that one before there is nothing wrong with going to the gym butt it’s not for me as far as nature its god gift to us lets in joy it and the spiritual healing it provides that is my work out no spandex for this city boy .Also after a 8 to 10 hour day of construction work that’s my workout for the day when I get home from work I’m toast no energy for the Jim. Although there is one benefit for me to go to the gym and looking at all the pretty girls between me and the big class window I usually make them laugh by making funny faces with them the girls love it O by the way my gym is right next door to tony famous beef shack. The gym is called LA FITNES

GOD bless all my quitting Adderall friends Marry Christmas and a better new year FALCON

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Quit once and sky, as usual you're bloody right. After gorging myself yesterday and today, I'm now clearly in sublimating territory. This happened last time I tried to quit, too, and led me right back in to the path of relapse after I gained so much weight. I just have a voracious appetite and food becomes my new high.

Anyone else dealt? Thoughts/ideas/suggestions?

[whoami]

That is exactly what happens to me. When I stop I eat like a horse! I am so unbelievably hungry it's down right scary. And even if I am not that hungry, I will binge eat. WTF? nothing is as it should be in my body anymore. I went 8 days this week and immediately gained 5 pounds. That and the lack of energy is what have brought me back every time.

This is one of the reasons I am considering Wellbutrin. I read that it is one of the meds used for people with food disorders.

[quit-once]

Whoami,

What will it take to break your cycle of binging then abstaining from adderall? Sounds like you are content to be miserable. The food thing will take care of itself once you finally quit adderall. Do you not have the patience and inner drive to persue your own long-term recovery from this addiction?

[FALCON]

Whoami,Hey there from your post it sounds like your still taking adderall .Lets talk about welbutrin we had an extensive conversation about this drug. In my opinion and my experience talking to X drug users welbutrin is a great drug for people getting off of adderall and other substances .IT is also used for depression quitting cigarets and loosing weight it dos something with whatever chemical in your brain that controllers cravings so I think you sood give it a try. Butt you need to quit using adderall first because welbutran may cause anexiaty and the combination of adderall and welbutran is not a good combination. I’m not a fucken shrink I jest know this from first hand experience. Good luck to you we are her for you and we will support you. Your friend FALCON

[whoami]

Thank you Falcon and quite-once, you hit it right on the nail. I went 8 days without it and I don't think I ever laughed so hard in my life. I was mellow for once in a long time. Still having major insomnia though. Then I could not handle not having energy so I started taking it on the 9th day and here I am again. I don't think I have ever taken more than 40mg in one day. Most of the time I take between 10mg to 20mg. Sometimes I take it and I am highly productive and other times it just makes me a moody short tempered BIAAAATCH who will spend a ridiculous amount of time on senseless bullshit on the internet like Facebook and not accomplishing anything. It makes me think about my ex boyfriend constantly and I go over and over in my head while looking at photos of him of how adderall caused the demise of our relationship. I have been dealing with a physical injury for several months and I am an avid exerciser, or I was, so the lack of it has sent me into an even bigger depression. I have hit rock bottom. I have gained about 20 pounds and I have always had an issue with this, I tend to self sabotage. Have done it my entire life. When I am doing well I am flying high and then when something goes wrong I tend to dig an even deeper hole. What's that saying when you are in a hole STOP DIGGING! well I have not learned to do that yet. I am self destructive. In the last two years I left my husband, lost my job of over 15 years, and sold my home on a short sale. Then I lost my other job due to depression which I have never seeked help for, then found adderall and ritalin took it on ad off (a friend gave me an old script) got a new job, found adderall again and then got it prescribed to me. So been on adderall consistently since May. First week kicked ass in my sales job was flying high and had endless amount of energy at my night job. ( single mama I work 2 jobs so this drug made me feel like super woman at first) Then things started going awry in August, I basically lost my mind. Crying constantly for no reason, paranoia, fabricating all kinds of crazy bullshit in my head and the self defeating attitude took over. Lost my day job, lost the man of my dreams because I went crazy then lost my second job due to my injury. So here I am. I have good days and bad days, mostly bad ones spent doing not much of anything not sleeping then I will give in to the ambien and sleep wayyyyy too much. I don't know how I will ever break out of this cycle. Not working and not being able to exercise have seriously FUCKED me up, exercise was always my escape.. The injury is healing but I developed another one on top of it which makes exercise nearly impossible. Went to yoga two days in a row, felt great to sweat but nothing compares to running something I will not be able to do for a very long time. I just want something to take away the constant hunger and give me some energy wihtout FUCKING with my head. A VERY CLEAN diet and regular exercise will do that I know that, been there I am well informed on nutrition and physiology but sometimes you need a little kickstart. ADDY is not it obviously, but now I just don't know how to completely STOP without sleeping and eating my day away.

Thanks for listening.. I hate to sound like a victim because I have brought myself to this point and only I can change it, but I have never dealt with my depression and eating disorders to begin with, perhaps this is where I should start as opposed to trying to just fix those with addy. boy did that fucking backfire on me!

[FALCON]

whoami

Hey girlfriend start over you are not a failure adderall has its way of pulling you in .Your injury will heal and you will continue with your exercise route-en boy do I hat that word rote-en . Don t weary about your weight. You know if you put you mind into losing thous extra pounds you can do it eating all day is a sign of depression do you think you may need to get some antidepressant med have you considerate that you may have a mild cash of depression. May I recommend webutrin it suppresses your apatite and takes care of the blues its also works well for after you quit adderall .Hang in their set your mind up again to stop using adderall you are not on a high dos and I don’t think you are addicted to adderall it is jest a habit of yours to take adderall when your tired or need to finish a task try it again break the chicle of stop and starting.

Your friend FALCON

[Cassie]

Whoami,

Have you ever seen a counselor, not just once or twice, but over the long term? I ask because you use the terms 'self-sabotage' and 'self-destructive' to describe yourself. Often times, we have self-defeating thought patterns and beliefs that we're only dimly aware of because they're so ingrained, it's just our natural way of being. Having a good therapist point out these patterns to you, help flesh them out, can be a huge revelation and a major catalyst in changing the way you see yourself and deal with life. It was for me. Antidepressants may temporarily help with some physical symptoms, but they're not going to get to the root of your problems.

[whoami]

thank you falcon, and cassie I have never ever seen a professional about any of this. wow that is crazy. I have so many pent up issues, I most definitely need professional help.

[ashley6]

Whoami,

I'm a big advocate of counseling (for those who feel they need it). I see my counselor once a week, used to be twice a week until recently, and she's been a godsend. Finding the right one can be difficult, so asking other people for suggestions is the way to go. Other than this site, she is my go-to for everything. I can text her anytime I need anything. I started going for adderall addiction, but also because I knew there was a lot going on mentally that led up to using adderall to self-medicate---specifically, anxiety and depression off and on my whole life. I highly suggest it, if it's something you're open to.

All the best,

Ashley

[whoami]

Thank you Ashley. I truly feel like I need something to cope with my depression and so I am going to seek help and ask to try wellbutrin. Idle hands are deff. the devil's workshop, it seems like when I take addy and I am busy, things are fine, but not working and being home all day, obsessing over stupid things is what is sending me into this very dark place and then I turn to food as comfort.

My boyfriend created a distraction, it was long distance so when he was here it was like a honeymoon when he wasn't I got even more depressed. But I feel like my depression stems not just from loneliness but from feeling like I have no clue what I want to do for a living anymore. I truly blew it with my last job. I had it made and I have not been able to forgive myself for it and so I am stuck. I do know that I can't sit behind a computer anymore and be a robot. I need to do something more physical and interactive, but I can't seem to make that happen. Switching gears at almost 40 is scary when you have done the same thing your whole life. So I start a new job this week that should be pretty demanding. I am ready to immerse myself completely in it and be successful. I have to accept who I am and let go of the past in order to move forward because I have been in the same place for a year now and it's time to move it.

I don't feel like I am ready to quit addy 100% yet. I have read now from several of you that you can't take addy and wellbutrin together but will wellbutrin do anything for my energy levels? Or will I still be going through the awful crash withdrwals and maybe just not binge eating? curious.. In the meantime I will seek some professional help as soon as I start making a paycheck again! thank you all

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Switching gears at almost 40 is scary when you have done the same thing your whole life. So I start a new job this week that should be pretty demanding. I am ready to immerse myself completely in it and be successful.

Hi, sorry I've been a bit behind on this story... but having caught up a little bit, whoami, here's a few thoughts:

1. Go to therapy. Go to AA. Go to where you'll have a chance to "get out of your own head" and think of yourself IN CONTEXT. You are not doomed, you haven't ruined your whole life, it's not too late. You will get beyond this. Day by day. I've found surrounding myself with others who are supportive has been really beneficial.

2. Congrats on the new job! Don't expect too much of yourself. Just be glad you HAVE a job. Enjoy being productive.

3. Stop thinking that your value is related to the number on the scale. From one former eating-disordered person to another, just learning to accept that it is what it is, and it won't always be this way, is a great big relief.

But you do have to quit or you really will fuck up this next job, and then you'll be 3 (or is it 4) jobs down and what will you think of yourself then?

[whoami]

Thank you Motivation! All very true statements. I will clarify however that my depression started several years ago, and then came the loss of my killer job which was way before I even knew anything about adderall or ritalin. So adderall did not cause me to loose my job, I was burnt out and depressed over my marriage. Alcohol has been the substance that has caused so much havoc in my life, mentally and physically. Combined with addy it's a recipe for disaster, (hence my inury ).

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Well, whatever got you here got you here. It's never nice to look back and see what a fuck up you've made of yourself and berate yourself for it. Just remember today is a new day with no mistakes in it, and today is all about getting through today, just you, with yourself. You sound like you are your own worst enemy. Give your gremlins a good look in the face and tell them to fuck off. Only you can do that... and only you can get past this. YOU CAN DO IT! We are hoping and thinking of you...

[sky]

my dr had me on adderall and Wellbutrin together fyi...

[FALCON]

Hey sky I’m clad to get to know you. Have a better then ever new year. The combination of adderall and welbutrin is not a good mix you get over stimulated and go into zombie mode iv ben ther .It jest goes to show you the doctors are experimenting on use they don’t no shit about the drugs they give out except what the pharmaceutical rep tells them.

Sincerely yours FALCON

[sky]

haha, I bet the bottled water lobby is in on it too, both make you SO THIRSTY!! yeah, was a lot of meds to be on at once for me, tho I liked the Wellbutrin better than any other anti depressant, maybe because it was also stimulating, but sure made me chill the fuck out on my 'isms'...

You have a great New Year too brother!

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Just FYI coming back to the topic of working out... I am finally starting to get some real motivation to get back in the gym and get my diet sorted out. I know I'm going to get some raised eyebrows here, but here goes: I went grocery shopping for the first time in over a year this morning. I haven't cooked for nearly 2 years. Delivery or eating out for every single meal... maybe it sounds fun but really, it's gross: you have no idea what kind of crap goes in kitchens in New York City, you're entrusting your digestive system to the vermin sometimes I'm sure.

Anyway, I've committed to doing this 3 month plan: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-easons-livefit-introduction.html

... and am off to the gym later today. I have been trying to go somewhat more regularly but didn't meet the 5x/week target I aimed for when I first wrote this. yet.

Anyone feel like joining me in the training plan? I'd love a workout buddy...

[sky]

Jamie Eason seems like she'd be a good workout buddy.........

lol at you haven't gone shopping in 2 years! damn girl!! that is hella funny.... does NY have the restaurant rating system? where each place has an A B or C rating?