Cjw31 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I aplologize in advance for my grammar and moroseness. I have been a visitor to this site for two years. I have come back many times and flaked out on posting. I will be succinct. I just want to know if anyone can relate to the following. I mean specifically. 1. Stay up for 3-5 days at a time upon filling script 2. Talk to people who aren't there 3. Do really abnormal things inconsistent with regular self 4. Run out of script 20 days early. 5. Crash really hard. 6. Don't look for work. 7. Feel like a big loser. 8. Very very depressed. 9. Continue to take adderall despite the aforementioned 10. Antisocial hate myself a lot 11. Think about dying every day 12. Very very alone 13. Repeat cycle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sky Posted January 24, 2013 Popular Post Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 hey there, I'm sure a lot of us can relate to various things you wrote. I think that it's all sort of par for the course when abusing a highly mind affecting substance like adderall. Seems like the things you listed are interrelated and are solely caused by each other- ie. if you don't want those things to be your reality, stop the adderall use and abuse and they'll go away.... some quicker than others. ie: Don't stay up on adderall binges for 3-5 days at a time, blowing thru your scrip and the people who aren't there won't be there, you won't hallucinate, won't have hard crashes, won't do those abnormal things inconsistent with regular self... those will be immediate changes. Then, after some time and healing of your mind, body, soul, spirit, and some footwork on your end, the feeling like a loser, depression, self loathing, apathy, and suicidal thoughts will all begin to dissipate. Not magically, but again, with footwork on your end. You're not a victim, you are driving the bus here. So if you want things to change badly enough, fucking change them. Stop taking adderall. It's that simple. It's not that simply done, but tough the fuck up and do it, get thru it, learn from others on this site the things you need to do to get thru the hardest part which will be tossing your pills so they're not an option, day 1, days 2-10, days 10-20, days 21-30, days 30-60, etc etc etc until you are out of the darkness and into the light, fully and completely. Do it dude. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Amen Pastor Sky. Perfectly said. But you know I'm a sucker for a little"Buck the fuck.up" anyway. As much as I thought I wanted the warm fuzzy approach when I quit....that woulda never worked!!!! In the back of my twisted head I woulda been goofing on that. Like yeah right. The other way challenges me a little more...I don't get.pissed are all...its like a little Shuv for shuv ..like come on show us what you got. Its always worked in my life like that...so if it ain't broke I ain't fixing it!!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I'm sorry you are suffering. We have all been there. Your list was very accurate, and brought back lots of horrible memories for me. But the good news is that those things will not plague you forever.... once you stop. In fact, most of those things you describe will disappear within days of not taking adderall. Adderall isn't just a "study" drug or like a cup of coffee. It's a very serious amphetamine, and is causing major neurological and psychological damage to you right now. You might feel like you have no options, but you do. Your only options are to continue to take adderall and risk losing everything, or to stop, and start to gain your life and sanity back. Nothing in life is good when you are not in the fog of adderall withdrawal (which it sounds like you are almost all of the time). You have nothing to lose and everything to gain, so if I were you I'd go right now and look in a mirror and tell myself that I am better than this; that I'm not going to let some fucking PILL overtake my life and the happiness I deserve, and then go and flush those pills, call my doc and go right to bed for the next week. Congrats on having the strength or whatever to post here. We hope we can be there for you through your recovery and beyond... the success stories here are phenomenal and there's no reason you can't be one of them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 Yes -- I can relate to most -- especially the moroseness -- chasing a high is depressing, especially in the few moments of lucidity when you can actually feel the damage. I'm @ 16 days clean and it does get better, even in this amount of time. People often quit when they feel they have hit bottom but there are varying degrees of hitting bottom. Raise your floor and quit now. I get thru the initial discomfort by focusing on how much better it feels not to be drugged 24/7 and constantly fearing an overdose. One thing's for sure once you've reached that point, now matter how far you've fallen it can still get worse. Posting here is an affirmation of your desire to quit. Go for it! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted January 24, 2013 Report Share Posted January 24, 2013 I can also relate. It gets so exhausting going through that every month, and before you know it a year has gone by. This stuff takes a major toll on your body, especially if you're having all of those side effects. Try to muster the strength to just quit while you're contemplating it and don't ever forget what's on that list. That list is important as a reminder of the hell adderall has put you in. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FALCON Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 What can I say all my friends said it all jest fine make up your mind set a time flush the shit and quit. We will support you in your crash landing and in your recovery you can do it we all did and we are still alive. Your friend FALCON 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 I aplologize in advance for my grammar and moroseness. I have been a visitor to this site for two years. I have come back many times and flaked out on posting. I will be succinct. I just want to know if anyone can relate to the following. I mean specifically. 1. Stay up for 3-5 days at a time upon filling script 2. Talk to people who aren't there 3. Do really abnormal things inconsistent with regular self 4. Run out of script 20 days early. 5. Crash really hard. 6. Don't look for work. 7. Feel like a big loser. 8. Very very depressed. 9. Continue to take adderall despite the aforementioned 10. Antisocial hate myself a lot 11. Think about dying every day 12. Very very alone 13. Repeat cycle. Hell yes. I can relate to each and everyone..especially number 1 and number 4. But really ALL of them. Maybe 8 the most. I completely believe adderall addiction causes severe depression in the adderall addict not just because of the depletion of feel good chemicals in their brain but a sadness because of their life circumstances living as an adderall addict. Ashley mentioned something I really agree with...time just flies by and before you know it you are worse and worse and the hole you dig gets deeper and deeper. And these years you've wasted addicted to adderall, u can never get them back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey D Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 I aplologize in advance for my grammar and moroseness. I have been a visitor to this site for two years. I have come back many times and flaked out on posting. I will be succinct. I just want to know if anyone can relate to the following. I mean specifically. 1. Stay up for 3-5 days at a time upon filling script 2. Talk to people who aren't there 3. Do really abnormal things inconsistent with regular self 4. Run out of script 20 days early. 5. Crash really hard. 6. Don't look for work. 7. Feel like a big loser. 8. Very very depressed. 9. Continue to take adderall despite the aforementioned 10. Antisocial hate myself a lot 11. Think about dying every day 12. Very very alone 13. Repeat cycle. I definitley can relate to # 2 . I had mild psychosis thats one of the main factors that has caused me to stop, and the thought of being permantley re-wired mentally or brain damaged. I'm done. You can do it, it's tough, but I'm thankful I've found this site with people who understand. Hang in there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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