Catherine1

Hello again! I am now 4 months clean from adderall! During that time I lost my job and have been job searching. I’m extremely proud of myself for not going back to adderall. (The urge was strong!) Even though I’ve been off it for a bit, I’m still struggling with the mental fog and weight gain and anxiety. Do you have any tips on how to deal with the after effects? I find I struggle a lot with interviewing and getting my point across. When I was on adderal, I seems to be able to do this effectively. I keep telling myself it will get better and I haven’t ruined my chances of getting a job by stopping the adderall. Thank you all for the support, it is very helpful.

I’m curious about this documentary but being that I recently just quit, I don’t think it’s a good idea I watch it right now. It’s interesting to see what people think of it.

Day 6

Congrats on the 4 months @soberica_18!! I’m glad to hear the mental fog does lift. I find myself unable to really do much at the moment besides Netflix haah! I can’t imagine trying to balance a client budget right now! You are so right, I need to be patient with myself, I’m not a patient person lol but I will try. Thank you for the advice and recommendations! I’m going to take that quiz and look into the supplement. The sleep is a big issue too, I find I’m kept awake at night by anxiety or just general restlessness and I end up sleeping most of the day away. I think getting my sleep cycle into a regular pattern will help as well. I totally feel you on the “beating the system” thing, I thought who needs to sleep and eat, well we all need both to survive and thrive! Thank you! That really means a lot. In addition to the anxiety, I’ve been feeling depressed these last few days, which is normal I think? I hope the depression isn’t permanent. I started the gratitude list today and it’s helping put things into perspective! Thank you for that recommendation and support! I appreciate it! Sending good vibes your way! <3

Yes! I’m starting to love those things again. Sleeping is hard right now but the eating is super easy lol. A little too much haha

Thank you @soberica_18 for the support and advice! <3 hearing how well your doing is inspiring! is scary to say the least, the anxiety is horrible right now. I didn’t sleep much last night b/c I was worrying about my return to work, if I’ll be able handle it, how I’ll be happy again etc. My friend told me to not worry and we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. That’s a good idea about CMA! I’ve gone to an NA meeting with my friend, but I think CMA would be better given our drug of choice. It is nice to know I’m not alone. How long did it take before the mental fog went away? I’ll send you a message after I sleep for a bit lol, I feel a sleep deprivation headache coming on. Thank you again for the support and advice! I really appreciate it!

Oh the struggle! Made it past day 3! Feeling less shitty haha! How you doing?

Feeling shitty but Made it past day 3!! I’m extremely proud! Yesterday I had intense cravings to use but my friend talked me down and I pushed through. Thank you all for the support. I could’nt have made it through these last few days without all of you! Right now I feel extremely anxious and restless uhh! At least I’m not feeling like I’m going to die like I was a few days ago. Hopefully it’s onwards and upwards from here!

I understand completely. I’m trying to quit my third time. On day 2 and I’m feelingf shitty mentally and physically. Sorry, I can’t really get my thoughts in order to offer more advice but I’m here for support. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and we will feel much better when we quit for good.

You’re right @Frank B. It could always be worse andi just have to remember there’s life (and work) after adderall and it’ss possible to do well after quitting. My whole life won’t end b/c I quit, it should be better. Very true, I’m don’t like to be subpar,’I was always a perfectionist ever since I was little (still am lol) guess that’s why I like adderall lol. Tomorrow I taper again, down to 10mg and then nothing the day after. I’m feeling pretty shitty physically and mentally. But hanging in. I was sleeping earlier and had a dream about adderall and it made me crave it. If helps having a friend staying with me and not having to worry about work and this forum and everyone’s been so helpful, thansk again and happy Friday (:

Thanks @SeanW i’m glad your dad is letting you stay with him, lucky my friend is letting me stay with him and work is allowing me to take time off. I cut my dose in half this morning and am starting to feel nauseous and a little dizzy. Maybe the physical symptoms are just anxiety idk. I know it will be worth it in the end.

Thanks @Frank B Last time I tried to work from home during it and it was impossible. I cut my dose in half today and I’m starting to feel nauseous ands bit dizzy, also I feel exhausted even though I went to bed around 9 last night. When returning to work, how did you be productive? I don’t know if I know how to do it without adderall, I’ts good to know it’s all mental, I think in the end, after my brain heals I’ll end up feeling better and doing better at work than when I was on the adderall.

Thanks @sleepystupid. I’ve been on Wellbutrin and it didn’t agree with me, I felt sick on it. I cut my dose in half this morning and I already starting to feel like shit. Iplan to do nothing and watch Netflix and eat lol. I do feels better now that I came clean and aren’t lying to those around me. Thanks for the advice.

That makes sense @Kimber, I feel I’m the same way and today I cut my dose in halfthis morning and I am starting to feel sick and blehh, if there’s anyway to explain it, like my mind is movingtrhrough mud I guess haha. I am looking forward to the day when I’m fully”present.” If you can do t after 17 years on adderall, there’s hope for me! You’re right, I’m ready. At this point, I just want the acute withdrawals into be over lol. Thank you for the kind thoughts. I appreciate it.

Thanks @sleepystupid for the support! Haha love that nickname! I’m the same way, I bet my coworkers have a similar one for me lol. Thank you! It was extremely difficult and I was putting it off until I almost got fired for balancing a client budget wrong and then I had no choice but to come clean to my boss. Either way, it was one of the hardest conversations I’ve had to date. Yup, my leave from work started this morning. My friend said I can stay as long as I want, and I plan to until I’m off the adderall and back to work. He’s been to inpatient rehab for pain pills and when I first met him, I was really tweaked and he called me out on the adderall right alway. The night he met me, he said: “You seem like a really cool person, but you’ll be even cooler once your not tweaked out of you right mind. You gotta quit the addy.” it’s funny that he knew right away, then again I thought I was so good at hiding it. I tried quitting cold turkey and the withdrawals were so bad that I gave up after day 2. I was planning to taper 10mg at a time, but I could just cut my dose in half and go from 60mg to 30? Do you have any tips for making the withdrawal suck less? You’re right though, I should make the most of my time off my resting and healing (: I know when I return to work. I’ll be expected to perform so I do want to be feeling decent by then. Thank you again for the helpful advice!

Congrats on the 7 months @Kimberand thank you for the advice and hope! Why didn’t tapering work for you? I tried to go cold turkey but the withdrawal symptoms were so bad I gave up after a day or so. I tried tapering the second time but also felt shitty and there was always a deadline or something I thought I needed adderall for, so it was never a “good time” to quit in my mind and I only made it three days. The overthinking thing is totally me! I’m going to download that app now, it sounds like it would really help. I keep tying to tell myself that I’ll feel better once I quit but I’m also kinda scared I won’t be able to function, but your right, adderall DOES’NT make me a better person, I just think that. I’ll try to remember that when it gets hard. Thank you for the tips! My friend who I’m staying with has an adorable poodle that is sitting on my lap now, so I’m sure that will help as well. I’ll try to do some light walking and I’ll stay away from alcohol and coffee. Thank you again!

Thank you @Nicole88 for that advice! I never knew that. I’m looking into PHP and detox and see if my insurance covers it. My insurance doesn’t even cover my adderall lol or any medicines and only one doctors visit a year, until I meet my very high deductible, then they cover half the cost of all future appointments. I’m going to check that out and see if my insurance would allow that. Thank you! I’m really glad you were able to attend inpatient rehab. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes! Starting to taper down slowly today while I research programs and talk to my insurance and hopefully get things going. Thank you again for the support and advice!

I spent most of last night in the hospital for a bad anxiety attack. I thought I was having a heart attack but it was a panic attack. The doctors told me it was caused by the adderall inducing the anxiety. I spoke to my friends in FL (who had no idea what was going on since) and told me to get help and I’d come visit when I’m off the adderall. You’re right, I wasn’t thinking rationally, I guess part of me wanted to delay quitting b/c I’m scared but I obvi need to stop and that’s happening now! My friend picked me up from the hospital and I’m back at his place to slowly taper down and attend outpatient rehab this week or next depending on insurance clearance and I need to call places and set up intake interviews. This week I’m going to a NA meeting as well (my friend attends so he suggested I go with him) I wish I could afford inpatient rehab but sadly I can’t. Today begins 50mg and I will go down 10mg from there until 0. I’m scared but I know I will feel so much better st the end. Thank you Frank and everyone who has helped and given me advice, I really appreciate it. When do the withdrawal symptoms peak? Just wondering so I know what to expect, I’ve never made it past day 3 before, well this time that will be different, I’ll make it past day 3 and beyond!

Thank you both for the insights and Frank thank you for the link and inspirational quote it was very helpful. Unfortunately, my insurance does not cover inpatient. I almost got fired today because I balanced a clients budget wrong. I chalked it up to not getting enough sleep, I realize I wasn’t sleeping because of the adderall but didn’t want to believe it. So my employer asked to meet. I told them everything and asked about taking some time off as you are right; I need some time to heal and not think about deadlines. My boss said she noticed something was wrong and my performance was slipping and now she knows why. She encouraged me to get help and told me I could take a leave of absence for 8 weeks and my job would be secure during this time. I thought I was still getting benefit from the adderall, but in reality people were like “wtf is wrong with you.” I am always anxious and I reread an email to a client I wrote today and realized I made no sense, I thought I was okay and the pills helped but I was wrong. It’s hard to come to terms with. I guess after 11 years I became accustomed to how I act on it and thought it was helping when it made everything worse. I’m going to see my friends in FL next week as planned, then when I return I’ll start outpatient rehab and a taper and take some time off to heal. My friend who has been to inpatient rehab for pain pills offered to let me stay at his place during this time so I wont be alone. I’m terrified but I’m so ready to take my life back. If I taper I’m hoping I won’t feel as shitty as doing it cold turkey, I’ll feel shitty no matter what though. 11 years is far too long. Thank you all for the help, advice and support. Do you have any advice for getting through the withdrawals? I greatly appreciate it.

I’ve been on it for 11 years and currently trying to quit for the 3rd time. I’m ready to get my life back.

Thank you for the insight. Congrats on quitting adderall and pain pills, my friend said they are one of the hardest to kick. I am hoping to do this on my own without rehab, besides from fear of my employer finding out, I don’t know if insurance will cover it. I do want to quit and I know I have to as it’s putting a lot of stress on my body and heart, but I’m scared of quitting as well. I don’t know how to function without the drug. Just an hour ago I had a important call with a big client and took extra adderall beforehand because I was nervous/I like the way it makes me feel and I felt I would do better on the call if I did. I know that’s not normal and I need to stop. Do you think rehab is best because of the services they offer? If I were to come clean to my employer, they can’t fire me over this? I want to make sure my job will be secure when I get back. When people quit, do they find it hard to perform at work or stay focused even after months of stopping? Thanks!!

Thank you both for the helpful advice. I work at a big finance firm so the hours are crazy and it’s high stress which is why I’m worried I won’t be able to function at work without it. I’m taking a week off next week to visit friends in FL but I don’t want to quit then since I want to enjoy my time with my friends who I haven’t seen in years. I have one more week of paid time off to use so I could quit and use that time off to recover. The first time I quit I went cold turkey and the withdrawals were so bad I gave up on day 3. The second time I quit I tried to taper down but kept delaying lowering the dose and then found an excuse as to why I couldn’t do it (deadline, it’s never a good time) I’ve done damage to my heart and developed high blood pressure due to adderall and my last EKG showed a heart murmur. I know if I don’t stop, I’ll end up very sick. A new friend of mine who I’ve became close with and who has been in rehab for pain pill addiction called me out on my adderall use and said he is worried and I need to stop. He keeps telling me I’ll feel a lot better once I do. I’m scared of quitting to be honest. I don’t remember who I was before I started taking the pills. Sorry for the rambling. I did talk to my doctor and she will prescribe a lower dose on a tapering schedule for me. I’m required to come in person to see her during this time. Would you suggest it’s better to go cold turkey and be very uncomfortable or try to taper and be mildly uncomfortable? Thank you both again for the helpful advice and for giving me hope

Hello. I’ve been on adderall for 11 years and have tried to quit twice unsuccessfully. I take it everyday and feel I can’t function without it. I’m on 60 mg daily. I tried cold turkey and the withdrawal symptoms were too much. I don’t think I trust myself to taper down. I’m also nervous I won’t be able to perform my well at my job without it. Do you have any suggestions on how I can successfully quit once and now for all? I am ready to get my life back.