OnSomething

I wish. I’d highly recommend NA though, I even wish my non-addict friends would go lol. They have virtual meetings every hour. Otherwise, I’ve heard good things about Smart Recovery

No advice, just wanted to congratulate you on one month. That is not easy

Well.. I made my way back to these forums. Part of me wants to delete all my old posts, given I was high for a lot of them, but it’s all part of the journey so I suppose I won’t. I am on day 1 again (~120mg/day). I’m hoping to taper off alcohol this week as well. I’ve picked up a few other fun habits (looking at you, ketamine & opioids) and the only thing they make me do is wish I was high on speed. I am fully obsessed with this drug and I know I need serious help. NA is helping but I’m looking into treatment. Anyway, just wanted to re-introduce and hope to talk to y’all soon

Tomorrow will be my day 1.. NA has really helped me but I’m dreading the cravings. Anyone have any good podcast/movie recommendations/etc to distract me through my bad cravings? For reference I’m taking 200mg a day and drink 2 bottles of wine a night to come down..

Could I join this group as well? Thank you all for starting something

How did you do this at first while working??

Wow that’s great!! What’s going to keep you through this week (assuming you work)?

Hey girl! The only thing we really have in common is that we were both diagnosed w ADHD young and that we got started too high (I started right off w 20 mg as a kid, which honestly did make me tired, but then I started abusing to feel something). If you feel old now, wait until you whip through 160mg/day for 7 years.. please believe me when I say you have a chance out now. You might feel like shit but please take it. I’m v new to this journey, but I need someone who can kinda struggle with me. Maybe we can find something that we can both try together this week?

Honestly I have no idea what we’ve been taking. Please remind yourself this is a drug and your feelings right now are not the truth. Feelings =/= truth. I have a similar story - got prescribed as a kid (I do have severe ADHD though, but was given no tools or advice aside from the pills). By highschool I lost it- I could learn so much so fast, why would I pay attention? Even with the medication? I needed much more advanced work, with or without Adderall. My brain has always been like a sponge, so I was upset no one nurtured it. (this has a point lol) I started freshman year of college- I didn’t just fall in love w knowledge; I felt like I was learning and being respected for the first time. But that summer I got an abusive partner. Transferred schools for him sophomore year. The first week I accidentally took two 20 mg pills bc I couldn’t remember if I took it or not. It usually made me tired, so when the physiological effects hit I knew- but as for my first high? All I felt was empathy for him. Not high, just confidence and a love for myself and a feeling that I could do work well (which I already knew). I quickly deteriorated. 100mg/day within 3 months. I’ve been using more than that for 6 years now. I’ve never stopped. College became something so crushing to me I still have a hard time driving behind buses or going through college towns after. My love for learning is still there, but I am so traumatized by everything. I’m still young too.. but my concern beyond getting sober is who would ever take me seriously that adderall fucked my life up so hard. Also there’s the depressing fact I’m still a slave to the guy who was half the problem, and still a slave to a drug I hate. I feel like I have one last chance at being a young adult and I’m so scared to do it

I am a chronic abuser & chronic relapser. I can get through the PAWS (monthly) but I have never made it past 2 weeks (aside from 3 months 6 years ago, sad). I need to stop, but I also need replacement behaviors. Please give me some hope on how to do things differently and get past week 2. Specifically things that I’ll feel capable of doing. This drug has severely warped me, and the worst part is I barely view it that way - it crushes me when I have a moment of clarity. It’s like the saying “the best trick the devil ever pulled was getting people to believe he doesn’t exist”. I know I’ve posted quite a few times before, but I hope that you have patience and remember the severity. Maybe this could be the time for me Note: inpatient isn’t an option for me right now.

Hello, I’m 0 days clean. I have said so many times I want to quit, even making promises to God, just to not. Tomorrow I am quitting. I told my best friend of how I take 100+mg a day and drink 1-2 bottles of wine every night. She is helping me come up w/ a plan. I am calling my doctor tomorrow. I have been trauma to trauma throughout my life, and since starting counseling recently realized how severe my neglect was growing up. Adderall was a coping tool that worked well at first. I am scared to give up the only thing I know, even though it’s killing me. My question is this- how do you find new coping tools? How do you know if they’re working or healthy? What’s worked for you?

Half dangerous advice. True, suicidal thoughts may be temporary for some (still traumatic), but for many depression is something that will need continuing treatments to feel the healthiest they can. It was so brave of you to go to the hospital! I could see why you’d be scared to try another chemical, but I’d really encourage you to try under your doctors care. Sometimes people need to try different things to work. I was lucky and my first one, Celexa, saved my life. I still have to do other work to help lessen my depression & ADD, but I would not be able to without it. As for school and work, even if you bomb your classes this term, you will have the strength to re-do anything after things fall in place mentally for you. Rooting for you.

I’m glad you made an account! Finding your place in a understanding community will only help your recovery. It gives me hope to hear progresses, so keep posting!

This chemical has been in charge of me since I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid. It was therapeutic until college, where I accidentally took two and got my first high. Things fell apart rapidly, and my reality must be pretty distorted since I don’t hate the drug. So I’m choosing to quit even though I don’t feel like it. I’ve been waiting for that feeling to come, but I can feel my body shutting down. Any success stories of quitting without hitting “rock bottom”?

I think it depends how much you were taking. I also struggled with not remembering who I was before quitting. I don't think that's a bad thing though, you can be whoever you want and it will probably be better than a life on Adderall no matter what. Since you can't take time off I'd just recommend early bedtimes and having rewards set up for the weekends. Maybe try cutting back on drinking too for the week to help with energy in the morning! Best of luck