DelaneyJuliette

Oh goodness no!!! Ayahuasca is a super-intense experience that you do within a ceremony setting (usually with a shaman/medicine person from or trained in another country; there's all this lineage like yoga instructors.) You don't have to believe in all the spiritual stuff around it to feel the benefits. It's extremely uncomfortable, and even though the results are long-lasting, going through it is painful (physically and emotionally.) It usually makes you throw up, and there is a LOT of surrendering. It's different for every person, and even taking the same ayahuasca one night after the next creates a completely different experience depending on what you "need." I don't personally believe so much in the "mama aya knows what you need" stuff, and more in the science of it, but that's just how my brain works. There is literally no way you could become addicted b/c you can't function after having taken it. I think the whole experience of taking 3-5 days off and being in nature without electronics around the ceremony is helpful too. And you have to taper off all meds to go on the retreat so that is a positive step for the adderall quitting. Like motivation to taper and then once you're stopped it's waaaay easier to stay stopped. I don't even know that you could get ayahuasca to take yourself in a non-ceremony/retreat type setting. You really wouldn't want to. The first time I went, I had a journal filled with notes of, "Oh my gosh that was awful and I never ever ever want to do it again." (But of course, after about six months, I found that I did in fact want to do it again. I felt... called to it. Which I had heard people saying before I did it "you'll hear the call" and I thought that was suuuuuch bullshit, but I actually know what that means now. It's like... this gnawing thought that keeps coming back and you figure out a way to make it happen. It's weird. But it's so amazing.) I did it with Kambo first, which is a frog secretion that is poison that is put on your skin and it makes you throw up a ton. I realize how freaking nuts I sound writing this, but I'm telling you, I am a different person. It's amazing. It is NOT a miracle cure, but it is a level of change I just haven't been able to reach through just traditional therapy. (And I've done ALLLLL the therapies... as I actually AM a psychotherapist so I just want to experience anything that could work!) I see it as being something that I may do once a year for awhile, as a "reset" and then probably less and less as time goes on. I'd recommend you do some research on it. If you want to come to FL ever (or TX or CA) I highly recommend Taita Pedro Davila as a facilitator. He usually serves the medicine in conjunction with another group. The retreats function as churches, which is how the medicine is legal. And honestly, I get really why they call it medicine. I could NOT get past just calling it drugs for the longest time (b/c it is just other drugs) but this is a very different experience than anything I've ever done. (And I've done all the drugs too lol.) The intentionality of it all, the ceremony, the nature, the being truly with yourself... I am a better therapist, a better mom, a better wife. I'm so much more able to recognize patterns and just rise above them and zoom out vs. getting all hooked in them. Of course I am always a work in progress, but truly this has changed my life. There is a series on netflix called "How to Change your Life" where the narrator goes through experimenting with different psychadelics - mushrooms, LSD, ayahuasca, and it's very informative. If you want to DM me about other specifics feel free to. (Or just ask here b/c I'm pretty much an open book lol.) I know alllll about addiction switching (I was a full blown adderall/cocaine/alcohol addict for years, then got sober in AA for 5 years, then convinced myself I could use adderall as prescribed, then found myself back in the SAME EXACT CYCLE only with adderall and benzodiazepines instead of alcohol. It was nuts. This is not that. But of course this is just my experience and doesn't at all mean it is right for everyone. A very good friend of mine got clean off of Heroin as a result of ayahuasca and there are many other stories I also know. Actually many people I met have a drug abuse history/ have been in/ are active in AA and/or NA. Again, I am just speaking to my experience, but it has just been so powerful that I felt like it wouldn't be right NOT to share my experience. (And then anyone can take or leave what lands or what doesn't for them!)

I'd be happy to expand! What specific questions do u have? I've done 3 ayahuasca retreats since last October and my whole life has changed for the better. I'm not saying that it is anything of a miracle cure, but numerous Studies have shown efficacy in changing people's relationships to addictiction, and i know it worked thatvway for me! My "addictvself" died, metaphorically. I'd personally recommend looking into it. It wasn't something I would ever thought I'd do until my kids were grown and away but man am I glad that is not the path I chose.

I am just grateful to be hearing from you so open and vulnerable. This is super random but Ayahuasca changed my whole relationship with Adderall. No idea why I am feeling called to say that right now but I thought I'd put it out there.

It doesn't exist

Proud of u

Keep posting and stay strong. You are telling on yourself ahead of time which is HUGE

I was off since 9/17 and then had a day slip on 12/13 and it is CRAZY how mental this is. I felt like I HAD it this time. So I highly recommend getting rid of everything. My journey is long and winding (I had 5 years off at one point) but each time I fall down I am getting right back up bc I know my relationship with this drug is over. I may have answered the phone once after a few months but now I'm just stronger in my resolve and more clear about the factors that led up to me doing so. We got this!

I had a 1.5 day adderall relapse Sunday afternoon thru Monday at ab 11pm where I stayed up all night but I stopped then and went to sleep. Didnt take anything yesterday. It was awful and have a lot of feelings that I let that happen. I was so scared I was gonna lose all I've gained since stopping 3 months ago. But I didn't. So nuts though how I got so trapped by it again in just one day (after 3 months of being off) It was insane. That was scary. I am shaky from the experience but still coming back into being solid. I guess I am grateful for it bc it super solidified how much I do not EVER want adderall in my life again.

you can.do this! after many.quits im finally done! almost 3 months now. it does get better. cravings go away one.of 2 ways. we give in and they go away and then come back x3 or we wait and surf the urge and.it goes away. the more we do that the easier it gets. google "surf the urge" and read a bunch of things on that to distract yourself. try an.online smart trcovery meeting. listen to a recovery podcast or a quitlit book. anything to.pass the time and put more time betweenyou and the pills.

Been solid since 9/17!

I'm at 47 days right now! I'm beyond grateful.

I'm on Day 21!!!!!!!!

Anything we can do to get user "Buy Adderall Online from Canada" off of here? It makes me sad b/c I would have messaged this person in my desperate days...

I'm finishing day 9 right now. I am committed.

Middle of Day 3 right now