xenia0323

I have been off adderall for over a month now after being on it basically for the past 10+ years and suddenly have realized how the GUILT and SHAME of being on it, combined with the brutal comedowns and worsening depression and anxiety have kept me in a soul-crushing, degrading, abusive relationship for so long. I may feel tired here and there without adderall but the shame and guilt are gone and I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life! Due to my addiction, I’ve let this person bring me down to new levels of low over and over and it’s because: 1. I felt like a worthless addict for being unable to quit before so I didn’t stand up for myself. 2. my mood swings made me feel so guilty after, I would overcompensate and accept horrible things from him because I felt I deserved it and had to make up to him by basically losing all my dignity and respect. But I didn’t. No one deserves an abusive partner. NO ONE. Each day I hated myself more for letting my life get to this point, yet adderall was my only pick-me-up until I just decided to try a day without it, then a week and now it’s been over a month! I literally have moments where I giggle because I feel so free and the happiest I’ve been in YEARS! I take full responsibility for my mood swings and blame myself for staying. I’m not here to make myself sound like a saint because I’m certainly not. I just want to warn others who may not have realized they’re in similar situations. Look around you: who’s taking advantage of your addiction? It might be subtle but the damage can be life-altering. I must add that taking Aplenzin (god-sent drug!) and using caffeine pills have been a lifesaver during the transition (I take a normal amount of them because I hate the taste of coffee lol). I also started yoga, breathwork (holotropic) and dancing so I make sure I check in with myself but also maintain a connection with the outside world. Thank you for reading and best luck to each of you on your journeys!

Thank you both! Sorry, I’m still getting used to using the site and didn’t see the notification for your replies.

Amazing! Keep it up! You give me hope.

Hi everyone! I’m relatively new to this site and have done a lot of reading of your posts. Thank you all for being so great at sharing your struggles and successes. I’m planning on taking a break from working when my job ends at the end of August and that’s when I plan on quitting cold turkey. In the meantime I wanted to ask if anyone is experiencing extreme fatigue and exhaustion while on adderall, not while quitting. I’m taking 15mg XR and 20mg IR daily and these past few weeks I’ve experienced extreme fatigue, complete exhaustion, labored breathing and just feeling unwell in general. I went to see my doctor who isn’t the best in my opinion (I often have to guide her to get to a diagnosis) and we found that I have low iron. I’m going to pick up my prescribed iron supplement today but some of the symptoms I’m feeling I’m worried aren’t from iron deficiency and wanted to check with you all. Has anyone experienced this? Should I go see a neurologist? My insurance will end in August so it’s important I get checked before that happens. thank you in advance for any insight and I apologize if this is in the wrong thread

Thank you SO SO SO much!

Thank you so much for sharing! It gives me hope! Can you please share your supplements? I’m starting my quitting journey next week and I heard supplements really help