Free-Wok

Yes, but you can't let a user-created list invade your mind like it's a certain truth. I am pretty sure I was at step 8 unless step 7 can last for a couple years. I will say I only would take adderall 1 week out of every month (the week after I got my script of 90 30mg pills to crush up and take to the dome over 8 days or so). Sometimes I'd try to give a third of it away or sell it before I even started going to town because the day or two ahead is all that mattered, knowing full well I would be wishing I had more when I run out. Those weeks I would be mentally bouncing around on day 1, an introverted version of the same on day 2, a full on schizo by day 3 while around strangers but also an extremely emotional loose cannon with people I trust, and (if I don't force myself to sleep a bit at this point) less emotional and more psychotic looking. You know that sense that you look like a looney toon to everyone else and DO. I would fucking (excuse the french) go to work like this 6 days a week. wtf is wrong with me? I seriously either looked autistic or insane to everybody or at least I was convinced of it. Not a pretty mental state to put yourself in in public. Anyway, snorting that much amphetamine to the dome in increasing binges for several years can't be good on said dome. I figured I would take another Mensa IQ test on one of their dates/locations which I had done it 8 years ago (not humble bragging on purpose, it's relevant!) and I could compare my timed logic/pattern recognition abilities (which is all IQ tests are) with what they were long before I reached rock bottom. I took the 1st in 2013 when I was about 25, and the 2nd six months ago at 33, and that was six months after quitting Adderall (Aug 2020)... the first time I took it i scored a 134, and this time I scored a 130. This is barely a shift. I already expected an even worse score for having simply aged 8 years, with 25 being a year i was coding a lot and exercising my mind all the time anyway. Beyond that, I'm 6 months off a decade of upper abuse and probably performed worse than i will 2 years from now in terms of focus and energy. I do feel pretty great though... but, also i was probably speeding out of my head during the first test. Either way, the standard deviation is 15 for IQ tests with an average of 100 (supposedly). I think you are fine. You need to focus on what you want to fix AND CAN FIX... tell yourself you are fine and can achieve anything you ever could; and make it an affirmation... a thought you say to yourself more times every day than the thought crosses your mind that you can't. Do this for a month and you will believe it, and it will be true, because it truly is based solely on what you believe is true unconsciously. P.S. - the writer of that list had incentive to make "the final stage" something worth dreading to readers currently addicted. If step 8 was "it might suck but you will be fine" then nobody on an earlier stage would have anything to be afraid of continuing down the road. Plus the person who wrote it him/herself can't have really written this without direct experience, no? How can they write about what can and cannot be certainly reversed long term? As far as we know, this is a post from a single person with an opinion he likes to be overly confident in. The information is interesting but a few of those steps were very far off. I started using adderall strictly for going out to parties. I was always more productive without it to be honest... also he fails to mention the spectrums of intake. There are too many questions that matter to determine how the brain will react over time (are you taking as perscribed? taking 10x the amount prescribed? taking street knock offs? snorting? popping? are you mixing it with alcohol? other drugs? what is your diet? are you optimistic in general? are you a smoker? are you staying up days on end? do you take it in large amounts with no break in the month? do you have a job? is it physically active? do you exercise? yada yada all rhetorical btw) Point is , you're going to be better than fine. You will be smarter than you ever were, because you have now tamed and got under control a dark side that you previously didn't know could control you and will not hesitate to... and having tamed that beast gives you that much more perspective to see things through. I forget exactly how the psychology goes, but Carl Jung (arguably the most important mind in pioneering modern psychology if not next to freud) believes you can't reach fulfillment or even unlock your most powerful self https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-y2DddsWQ8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co_dhIKUtGs