sirod9

Hello - I would say you are approaching the path of recovery, its a process. I abused adderall for 6ish years (90 to 120+ mg a day). I have been off of adderall a little over two years. I'm no longer in hell. But the path out is difficult. you have to let go of what and who you "think" you are, what you "think" is important (all of that posh crap you mentioned in the beginning of your post) and let go. PAWs still appears occasionally, and I'm very "routine" oriented, meaning, if I am off of my regular sleep/eating routine, I will experience PAWs symptoms....its weird. But my relationships are really good. I love my family and friends. I am learning to deepen the love and care I have for myself, and I am learning to walk through cravings by carefully observing why the cravings arise. and I'm learning self-compassion. I don't know if I will ever fully heal from adderall abuse, but I'm certainly in a better place now than I was on it. A good place to start is self love. begin by trying to get a regular sleep schedule (with or without adderall), try eating healthier and taking supplements. give your body what it needs so it has a better chance when you quit. Its like we turn into out of control teenagers who make all the wrong decisions and you have to become your own parent. Ultimately, quitting comes down to self-acceptance and self-care. Its bloody hard, but what will you do if you continue on this road? Good luck!

This is normal and it will take a while for your body to adjust. for constipation, buy "Calm Magnesium Citrate" powder, take double the serving size, and you will go number 2. you can use that once or twice a week to help with constipation. get a good fiber supplement, and make sure to drink lots of water. Adderall messed my microbiome up (not sure how, but it did) and it has taking a while to get normal. The water weight will subside. Ultimately, you may gain a lot of weight, a little weight or no weight, it all depends on your habits and behavior. I gained a solid 20 lbs, but I'm not made about it.

yeah, that does sound difficult to deal with. I'm happily single, but being coupled has its pros.

I'd also like to share an interesting observation. As I began healing more, and having less to no PAWS, my Adderall cravings increased. which is odd - but makes sense. I guess without PAWS reminding me of how awful Adderall is, the parts of me that I still need to work on, that led me to abusing Adderall in the first place, are still present. Working on it daily!

Not at all! I'm feeling much better. for instance, I cleaned my apartment yesterday with no issue. I mean, I'm not always into cleaning, but I'm better at executing plans these days. Sometimes I will have a lazy day or afternoon, but nothing like where I was earlier in my recovery. Thank you for the reminder of where I came.

it takes time to heal, that means you are going to spend much of your time feeling like shit. go back to stims, and you will throw yourself back even further. I remember 9 months being a particularly difficult time for me, then around 12 months it was hard too, all the up until 18 months. then things really started improving in bits. I just hit two years, and I'm doing much better. Ask yourself where you will be in 8 months if you do use? and then consider where you will be if you decided to stick it out. I also want to point out that hormonal changes for women will worsen things. Adderall threw me into early perimenopause, so I had to seek out a doctor who would test my blood and prescribe hormone replacement therapy. it has helped tremendously.

Hi Sprad - This sounds right, after a year, things go down hill. I was chained to adderall for around 6 years, upping my dose until my highest daily intake was between 90 to 200 mg a day. I found outside sources (black market) for when my script ran out. I ran up terrible cc debt, spent ungodly amounts of money on nothing, and spiraled. I kept it together enough to keep my job, but towards the end of my use, I was very close to loosing that too. I will be 2 years clean August 1st. it was HARD, but I was ready. The longer you stay on adderall, the longer your Post acute withdrawal will be. I experienced PAWS even at 18 months clean. I still have "foggy" days, but things are so much better. My world did not collapse because I quit adderall. I kept my job, I did not become obese, and I did not have permanent damage. or at least nothing I haven't been able to cope with. I still crave the drug occasionally, but that is part of recovery. learning your triggers and working through cravings. learning new ways of coping with life's stresses. Read through this site and begin your quit journey. Good luck to you.

Mine have passed. They will always pop up, but I think it is just something we have to get through. If I caved and used, I would be absolutely miserable right now. So I will take the occasional discomfort of cravings over the hell of active use.

Hi Everyone!! So, my two year quit anniversary is approaching (Aug 1st) and I'm noticing that cravings have increased. During the first year, I had very few, if any cravings. I was mostly dealing with intense PAW symptoms. Now that I have fewer PAWs symptoms, I'm suddenly grappling with an increase in intense cravings!! I run the tape through, and choose NOT to use, however, that little voice keeps popping up and random times and tries to suggest using adderall would somehow be fun, or a good idea. Which is total bullshit, I know. I guess I'm reaching out for support. I know what happens after relapse...and non of it is good.

Good job on hitting 7 months. I will be at my 2 year mark on August 1st, and I still have occasional cravings. But I run the tape through. We used daily for years, I think it will take years to re-route our patterns. Also, don't be discouraged when you hit periods of post acute withdrawal symptoms. around my 1 year mark, I went through a terrible period of symptoms. I felt like I was in the first few months of withdrawal again. then it gets better, then you hit a snag, so on and so forth. It is a very slow process with leaps and bounds of progress, sometimes followed by setbacks.

@risingpheonix - Same to you. We all help each other, and being able to give support and encouragement to others directly helps my own recovery from adderall. I'm doing well! Moving! and spearheading the whole thing myself, Stim free! I will have two years on the first, hallah!!

This is awesome! So happy for you - I feel like we have a lot in common in this journey. so glad to see that we both stuck through the 1-year depression. In hindsight, I see my previous adderall use as "borrowing from tomorrow, to escape today" and not accepting that life is often times hum drum. Accepting the way I feel, day to day, is freeing.

You will feel good again, I promise!! Just be where you are and know, it is temporary. Heck, even feeling good is temporary. Try to take some time to yourself and sit with the feeling, without judging it or putting labels in it. Try to get in your body, and feel it. Imagine you are a room, and your inner world is in that room, your feelings fill the room. acknowledge how the energy (feeling) feels. Does it feel heavy, sharp, empty, etc. Imagine compassion is sitting outside of the room. Acknowledge its presence. Does it have a color? is it a person or thing, a being? Maybe it is female, a cat or dog. maybe it is a bright sky or a cool breeze. Once you acknowledge compassion, see if you can invite compassion into your room. into your heart. Compassion for yourself and your situation. Play with this. Maybe next time you can invite hope into your room, etc. The point of this is to learn how to move through this difficulty without using. without making bad decisions that will ultimately make your situation worse. Learning how to accept ourselves "as is" and move through difficult days, weeks, etc. is the thing we need to learn to do. Because not being able to accept ourselves, and move through difficulty is what got us in this mess! If anything, know that you are in the dark days of quitting adderall. What you are going through is totally normal and to be expected. It will get better, the brain heals slowly.

Me too. constantly worrying about running out, and how I could swindle more. I'm so glad I'm not completely consumed by that stuff anymore. Keep in mind, sometimes all of the supplements in the world will not fast track healing. You have to "walk through the fire" so to speak. Just know, I've totally been there and IT DOES GET BETTER. it takes a long time. I remember when I was approaching my year mark, I felt terrible. I felt like I had just quit. the post acute withdrawal symptoms sprung up out of nowhere and lasted a few months. I was so bummed because I was expecting the year mark to be better. it still took a while. Now, I am SO GLAD I QUIT. I thank myself often for quitting because I did "future me" a huge solid. Keep going!

Hi Teresa - Just a little background on my adderall (use and quit) journey. 43 y/o woman. used very high doses of adderall for approximately 6 years, give or take. with an 11 month break somewhere in there. On July 31, 2021 was my last dose of adderall, and I have been clean ever since. It was VERY HARD. I feel your pain. I too, took supplements during my initial withdrawal, and the following things really helped: - cordyceps, magnesium, LOTS of water, I did a few NAD+ infusions (google them, expensive, but they helped), all of the vitamin bs Another thing that helped was psilocybin mushrooms, microdosing. if you are open to it, and can find them in your area, I highly recommend them. even with all of the healthy eating and supplementing, I still had terrible days, weeks, sometimes months. I'm approaching 22 months clean, and the last few months I feel much more normal than I have during my whole quit. Even at a year, I was still struggling with terrible PAWS symptoms. Just keep going. One of the things that helped me quit adderall was I'm getting older, and entering perimenopause. My hormones are fluctuating, and I don't bounce back the way I used to. I have since begun using bioidentical progesterone, along with cycling estrogen cream. Replacing fluctuating hormones has helped me greatly!! Good luck on your journey. and if you need tips, support, or just have questions, feel free to ask, or IM me