ddw5053

Well good for you for going back I feel the same way for kids who are probably 18 and starting to go through this shit. I want to tell them all quit now and it will be alot easier. My sister is 24 and takes adderall too & has more problems than me with this shit and shes in complete denial its the adderall. I honestly feel even if I drop out of school and have to return at 28 I will still be alot happier than if I stay on this shit any longer (even if I did finish school). But hopefully I can pull through I have so many people expecting me to finally finish

In the midst of tryin to get sober and better Im still tryin to feel better mentally and be more aware of whats going on around me. Just wondering if I should start keeping a journal of my thoughts throughout the day since half the time I still find myself uncertain about anything. Almost like I can't even remembered what happened an hour ago. I mean Ive been adderall free for about a month now but still feel those side effects. Does anyone have any input on keeping a journal? Is it a good idea or therapeutic way to manage your thoughts? Kinda hard to get into or start so Im looking for some motivation...

And absolutely about the vyvane I have a friend whos prescribed and it gave me the same exact feelings like you take one more to feel happy after that first pop or for me sometimes after 4 or 5 pills throughout the day...

Thanks alot. Yea it def it, especially when alot of your friends are finishing college this year and your still behind because of adderall. But oh well live and learn. 5 years froms now it wont matter when I finished as long as I finish and did without abusing adderall Im sure. Thanks for your feedback

Glad it helped, I literally copied and pasted it right to word as soon as I saw it haha

Dude Im going through alot of same things although I never drank that much vodka and had the heart problems that you did. I am still in college and it sucks with the psychological struggle you have day in and day out. Its like your brain is always saying you could get so much more done on adderall and you still worry you may need it again. So Im right there with you & lately since being off of it I still study and retain the information much better. My grades are so far about the same if not better its literally just the psychological mindstate we all have to get past. Glad to see your grades are better and you seem to be reborn thats exactly what Im going for this time. I went three months at the end of my last semester without it, but by the end I told myself it wasnt the adderall it was me. And I convinceed myself I just need self control. So I started this spring semester taking two a day but was still having the same side effects and feelings of unhappiness. Now Im on about a month this semester without it & Im studying like crazy & not worryin about not having adderall to study. So Im like fuck that it is the adderall no more excuses!! I never wanna go back to that shit

Yea I'm new and yea I posted my story titled "100th times the charm". Hoping this site is the breakthrough I need to finally put this adderall business dead in the water so hopefully I will continue contributing to these forums and posts (that's my plan anyway).

45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old 1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short not to enjoy it. 4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. 5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. 6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself. 7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone. 8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for things that matter. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present. 12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks. 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. 18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. 19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 22. Overprepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’ 27. Always choose Life. 28. Forgive but don’t forget. 29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time. 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 33. Believe in miracles. 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. 35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. 41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need. 42. The best is yet to come… 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 44. Yield. 45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

My dad right there 100%. He takes adderall himself and hes an engineer but has never had the problems Ive had on it. So he can't understand it at all and dislikes talking about it. It sucks when your father is successful and has no comprehension of what your going through but stay strong and thanks for sharing

Thank you for the response and its okay for the typos . I see where your coming from with the whole transition you take from being on adderall to getting off of it and the benefits of telling people around you for support. However for me its a bit more complicated because alot of the people around me probably still think I need it even after all the bad shit its made me do. Ive told them about it too so they know and even my best friend says just take a little of it. Its not there fault some people just dont understand especially those who have never been dependent on it for so long. I have told my mom because she if supportive of me getting off of it, but like my dad is different because hes all about school and grades and he cant relate to the bad shit it makes me do. Anyways so many people talk about being physically different, tired, and all that stuff but for me thats not it. I got to school at Tech so cant afford to just sit at home and be like damn this sucks being off adderall (if I was home I would probably be way more lazy). But I have still trained myself to go to the gym, library, and class but still don't feel different. I think its because Im still scared Im gonna go back especially with the pressure of finishing school & how much work I still have to do. Its like my brain is saying yea but you still have so much schoool work left so how are you never gonna not take it again. I feel once I completely realize I have the control to never take that again I will feel like myself. So basically its a mental thing with me. I can go to the gym, workout, and still be physically motivated, but my mind is like no mans land it sucks. I used to be mad social but anymore when I go out and say play basketball I still feel like everyones looking at me or know about my adderall probelms. Anyways thanks for your advice and feedback I appreciate it

First off thank you to whoever made this cite for showing me there are people out there just like me with the same symptoms of this evil drug. I have been in a constant loop of battle and struggles with this drug to the point I feel I have no identity half of the time on or off the drug. This cite however has already showed me I’m not the only one and these symptoms are normal. I was reluctant at first but I feel its good to share my story and keep driving into my head what this drug has done to me. I am 23 now and have been on it since 8th grade knowing deep down this has been a long time coming. I feel the main reason I have not been able to completely let go is for 1)People close to me take it, 2)The pressure of not graduating college in disbelief that I am not smart without it. I have tried quitting so many different times and have been very close. I went about seven months at 19 without taking one pill and those were the most lively and more human I can remember since pre-adderall. However the one area of my life I still cannot fulfill is studying. I know deep down the feeling I had once had in eight grade when this drug worked at its best. I felt invincible like I could be anything I wanted. I could exceed in school, sports, feel calm, cool and collected. It worked so well I literally felt like a cheater but I loved it at the same time. That being said I only allow myself to study productively when Im on mad adderall. I say “mad†because in the last two years its gotten out of control. I always say this time Im gonna be responsible and take the correct dosage. But that never works because even when I take say 2 15 mgs a day (my dosage) Im still unhappy and feel unfilled, unhuman. So then I rationalize to myself well Im gonna take a shitload of adderall to study just this one night which turns into a week of studying, not sleeping, not eating, zombied the f**k out. But again I tell myself well I need to get off of it anyway so Im just gonna finish this last bottle and then Im done. Well here I am again trying to quit, its been about two weeks now and doing well and really hope this is the last time. I dont even tell my parents, or friends because I sound like a broken record. Honestly I feel thats a jinx anymore because then Im discourgaged knowing they know how many times Ive said that and failed. This time I’m keeping it to myself. Im hoping they see the knew me and in time, I will show people Im done with that adderall dependent person with no confidence or certainity in life. My biggest fears are the same as a lot of people is that I’m unsure about the next day. I go to school at VTech and although I force myself to go to the gym and library and other places I still feel fake half of the time. Im hoping I reach some revelation or breakthrough at some point and at least feel like Im the same person every night before bed. What I’m realizing is this is a long process (one which Im familiar with) but I need to do some things differently. For one Im going to constantly remind myself what true happiness is… I believe your truly happy when your becoming the person your meant to be. Anyone who relies on adderall will NEVER be the person they are meant to be. Adderall makes me feel like I need it to succeed & forgets about the connection I should have with myself. It makes me forget that whatever I do in life is there forever!! Not for that night or however long my adderall binge lasts before I crash. When Im adderall Im so focused on getting an A on that test, or doing well on a project, thinking thats what I need in my life to be happy. Thats why everything sucks is because Im still not getting good grades. Well I realize now thats not it. I need a transformation, a different perspective on what the meaning of life is. The meaning of life is not to get what you want. Its to become the PERSON YOU WERE MEANT TO BE!!! Thats what will make you truly happy. And yea it sucks Im still not confident in school like I feel I should be without adderall, but at least Im on the path thats going to lead to my destiny. My destiny where Im in control and I can choose the decisions my heart truly feels. Good riddance adderall youve wasted enough my life & Im not gonna be a victim anymore